Sledgehammer Disaster (Title by YumnaKay)

Sledgehammer Disaster (Title by YumnaKay)

A Poem by Chase Dylan
"

A piece I had edited by YumnaKay...

"
A tapestry forever falling 
to the sound of paper gravity.
 
I was never more than rabies 
​... ​
lined with sanity.

My clouded rubies secluded me 
from daily activity.

Riddled with active limited abilities,
my simplicity is inherently a durability,

because -- when breath deserts me, 
I'm left; wretched 'n' berzerking,

earning the gurneys 
that burn me with disin
​f​
e
​c​
tant.

When slurping at the chemicals 
like weapons that be jerkin'...

My tensions etched 'n' blessed 
... in dirt lessons.

I'm the essence 
of murkin' denizens of burden.

I'm earnin' nothin' 
as beat-back humbling turns ~ worse.

Cursed and reverting to 
sledgehammer disaster a last hit and ---

I'm hammered ~ of 
worth.

© 2017 Chase Dylan


Author's Note

Chase Dylan
Like the title and description say... YumnaKay is the sole editor of this one... I just wrote it all in a big block of words... Might be seeing more of her editing skillz on my work soon... Enjoy!

My Review

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Featured Review

This is a beautiful piece, so full of emotions and you sumed it up perfectly with that last line. "hammered~of worth." I have felt this many times but, I was affected in a less aggresive manner, I think. More like, slowly being drained or cracking little by little under pressure until everything inside breaks free. This is why I love reading people's work. I love hearing how other people experience emotion, because we're all affected differently. Thank you for sharing your heart with us!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

No problem, Flame, thank you for so kindly relating... It fills my heart with warmth to know you too.. read more


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Reviews

sounds like a total journey through a state of depression,great write,powerful write
yumma kay did a great job as well

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

Thank you, Man of Words... Means a good deal to hear your take on it, and a good take it is...
Dude, the depth of this poem is amazing!!!! :D (throws horns in salute)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

*Throws horns back*... Thanks, Raven of the Moon
Wow! It's amazing.. pretty good..and very well penned..I like the rhyming of the first four lines...the editing is also very good..overall I liked it very much :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

Thank you, Sofia...! Alwyas a pleasure to hear from such an enthusiastic and talented young writer s.. read more
Sofia

6 Years Ago

You're most welcome...I'm honored by your words..thank you so much :)
The last three lines sum up this piece well and hit you in the face sledgehammer style.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

Hahaha, yes, yes they do... Thank you, Poetic
This is a beautiful piece, so full of emotions and you sumed it up perfectly with that last line. "hammered~of worth." I have felt this many times but, I was affected in a less aggresive manner, I think. More like, slowly being drained or cracking little by little under pressure until everything inside breaks free. This is why I love reading people's work. I love hearing how other people experience emotion, because we're all affected differently. Thank you for sharing your heart with us!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

No problem, Flame, thank you for so kindly relating... It fills my heart with warmth to know you too.. read more
Well, she has edited very well...great work by you, Silente. Keep on writing.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

I appreciate that, Priyanshi, yes she did... Thank you very much
Priyanshi

6 Years Ago

My pleasure.
You have another gem here, Sil, your rhymes still do their frantic all-over-the-place style that distinguishes you from other poets. Love the way it flows and the final joke is golden. Well done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

Thank you, Em, your words are always looked forward to... A golden review
This is not a poem, it's a voyage of interesting concepts. It's woven together so well! The words all come together with the main idea really well. Keep it going!

Love,
Vasilees.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

Thanks very much, Vasilees... This is not a review, it is a voyage of appreciation... Thanks again!
"because -- when breath deserts me,
I'm left; wretched 'n' berzerking,"

I guess this was the part which I found the most tricky to edit. Your piece, like every other, always astounds me...
I did have fun editing this one. Here's to hoping more will follow :))
Would it be blowing my own trumpet if I said that this is a beautiful piece of writing? :p
Maybe I'll settle on saying that I love your word choices ;) :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Years Ago

Um thank you (?)
Your writes do have a huge part in honing that skill :)
Cheers :))
Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

You asked if it was okey to blow your own trumpet.... If any questions exist... I would ask yourself.. read more
This comment has been deleted by this poetry author.
This is a painful read (descriptively).

I am not quite sure how much is self inflicted or externally derived, but sure as hell - I don't want to feel like the narrator!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

No, I would not wish it on most... Thank you very much, A.J...

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1445 Views
34 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 5, 2017
Last Updated on July 5, 2017
Tags: Poetry

Author

Chase Dylan
Chase Dylan

Denver, CO



About
Words have me, but I never seem to have words. more..

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