"Understanding"

Laughing... Crying...

Was I ever anything other than a row boat of understanding...

Was the load a toad that couldn't carry the weight of our laughing...

Might as well be cashed-out and standing in the rain

cause you feel no pain when trading me in for gains...

I'm alone and in vain I seek growth with a cane and rope

hope my choke can be caught before it hits the moat...

Rote slop of gropes in the dark

where was I when the mark missed its lark...

I'm hearkened to flop...

So start to stab me every which-way...

I'm heading for memory lane and it's a lame avenue of grain-free

now free but am a seed for the thousands of leeches infecting peaches... 

Molesting creatures...

Electing reavers...

So quiver and see this

hear wit betrayed

leap of faith

marmalade-aid and sated breath today...

Baked blaze and graze...

Now red-in-the-face I take a taste of fae-waste

 that pale-place when aced of graceless lace I hasten traces of pages placed... 

Intent I create craters in a maze of traitors

that bladed saber hater...

I hate her,

and savor another suitor forever suited for her labors   

Later, Gator...

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Understanding usually requires accepted meaning or reference points that are easily communicated. There seems to be more attention here to rhyme than meaning and much of it seems contrived and meaningless without clearly communicating an expression that is not dedicated to the sound of the words. I have never been a fan of rhyme simply for rhyme's sake but believe poetry should express an elevation in communication of common or exceptional values. I had rather the message be clearly communicated without rhyme than with rhyme and without clarity or meaning. These are my thoughts and opinions on the piece but do not reflect the opinions or thoughts of the majority of reviewers here. It is clearly a matter of taste in art. But don't be discouraged. My artistic tastes revolt at that which many renowned critics consider masterpieces.

[Chase Dylan]

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while. Thank you, as well... For the real criticism...You are not alone in thinking "understanding" needs defined lines of expressionism... Without clear-cut meaning... Who knows... However, I like to think I have come across a happy medium since my time of writing this... Between meaning and abstract...

[3mptyness]

Sounds like lyrics. Pretty nice

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, friend, they originally were lyrics... Great eye...

[Paul Bell]

Actually a lot going on in this poem. A feeling of being used, abused. Feeling totally frustrated. You sort of want her to leave. Later, later gator.

[Chase Dylan]

I like succinct summaries.. You nailed it... Abuse, betrayal, whole being on the line... But f**k it, later, gator... Heh... Thanks, Paul, always a distinct pleasure seeing you here...

[Gee]

It is very lyrical and reads well but as to the meaning, I haven't got the foggiest.
You seem to have quite a following Mr Silente.....

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Gee, lyrically smooth reading... That is all I pretty much want to hear... Concrete meaning is best left to the reader, so whatever you think, I think that works...

I have been noticing that lately... Started this all out with the intention of using this site as an external journal for my writing... Def' took a bit of a life of its own over time...

[Illumina]

The musicality is great. I like how it rhymes, even though its a bit difficult to understand for me. It sounds great and I like it. 👍

[Chase Dylan]

It is a bit hard for ME to understand, and I wrote the darn thing... So I would not worry about that part all that much... Thank you, May

[Illumina]

Pleasure is all mine,
Do let me know if you post something else later.

[Chase Dylan]

Oh, of course... Hah, that is something I can def' do... Ditto...

[The Iron Horseman]

Now this one is really interesting, my friend. It starts off as a blistering indictment, then makes me laugh, and finally takes a straight razor to a twisted sister. I think! I really love your blistering succession of weird images in this one; they are so prolific that I cannot pick a favourite, although the last five lines are right up there. Keep up the geat work, Silente.

[Chase Dylan]

Your thinking is more than superb, Iron Horsey... I love your reviews even more than you love the writing, hah... Thanks, friend...

[The Iron Horseman]

Lol! You're welcome, my friend. Mind you, I don't know about you, but when it comes to thinking I sometimes wish I could find the off switch to turn the brain off for a few hours! :)

[Brett Hernan]

Later, Gator...

I actually did a for real lol.

[Chase Dylan]

Hahaha... Me as well, friend... Me as well...

[Tony Jordan]

I felt like I was being led through a maze that has been constructed with a glass aquarium above - the ones you can walk through and see the fishies swim overhead. The lines in this can be distracting as BG said but they are all living in the aquarium. The overall feel I got was of being misunderstood - perhaps even berated for indulging oneself in hobbies and not real-life i.e. the fish are like distracting bills and chores - the maze like the journey through life.
I think one thing about the way you write straight from the top of you head - your pen gets hairs stuck in the nib - nah kidding lol- no, you bypass filters that many writers will apply, Silente.

[Chase Dylan]

You remind me of "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou"... Oh how I wish to be an abstract fishtank full of goldfish dead in the head... Your feel, like others, TJ... Amazes me... The depth one finds, I suppose, tends to be binded to the slime of ones toes... My hairs do indeed, get stuck in the nib, but more like stuck in the keys... As I SUCK at hand-writing, hah... Thanks so much, Tony... It means the world coming from such a diverse and energetic writer.... Filters, what filters...

[wordman]

lot of good lines my friend,great imagery

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Wordman, I appeciate that...