Emulating Stars of Maybe

Emulating Stars of Maybe

A Poem by Chase Dylan
"

Ray-stuns and gravy...

"
Emulating stars of maybe in May, hey baby, ray stuns and gravy
I'm alive and unfettered bravely
I'm better than wetter dogs with rabies, a slave to crazy, still jive and raving
Dime shot on sight, creeping hog tied up tight, and I'm slightly light in the pockets
Mark-it and hearken, steady ready caulk-it
Off-it like rockets I'm parkin' and stalkin' on foot at the market
I stray when I pursue loose grooves with my pick...
No-stop-it
Can't slick-pin her, hoppin' to the sloppin', and next target is barkin'
I'm farther than a garden guarded by sovereign guardians pawin' 'n' slobberin' 
Lower than drains clogged with pain runnin' on sugar-bane
Can it tame the blame that I swing wildly like a cane
Like a similie for lame, I'm lamer than lame
Now steady aim and pray we can coast today, mope and sway
Lay to rest grace, but sashay when slain
Sass and flame?
Hah...
Might as well use our brains.
Use our lanes to go nowhere, or somehere I never know, but something has to flow
Indeed it knows the deed of rose, and crows that fold and blow on slopes
The corpse is coarse, of course I'm morose
The host is boasted roast, and I'm hoisting oats to make up gropes in the dark
I'm not dark I swear I'm far from it, an ark of ravens slayin' carpets
Now the pavement calls me, need a beat-back symphony to make it...
No problem
You lay the six by me, and I'll do the farmin'
Just remember...
No sobbin' 

© 2017 Chase Dylan


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Featured Review

Love the line about being better than wet dogs with rabies.

This is a great piece. another one that just proves what a poetry force you are. I love writing poetry, and a few of my pieces are some of the best things I've written, but I can't force it, and it can be tricky to come up with new poems. Reading your work is truly inspiring. Thank you for that. Great job.
-Richard

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

4 Years Ago

Thanks so much! Sorry it has taken a minute to reply! Been away for a while. Glad to be an inspirati.. read more



Reviews

"Can it tame the blame that I swing wildly like a cane
Like a similie for lame, I'm lamer than lame"

I really loved those lines, I'm lamer than lame too haha! Wonderful write here :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

Hah, I think we can all feel pretty lame sometimes... Thank you, Kesha, for the appreciation. I love.. read more
Kesha

6 Years Ago

Yes, that is completely true.. you're welcome :)
A very good poem... TBH I started reading your poem but mid-way I was singing it. Great job Silente. 😘👍

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

That is the greatest thing I could possibly hear! It is supposed to be sang, so... Thank you! Hah
Well penned..........nice

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

I meant no insult, either, just love sand, hah... Safety-integrity-level sounds more awesome, though.. read more
Sandipta$

6 Years Ago

Hn... See good in all things.. U ll get more awesomeness
Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

I do enjoy awareness, but good in all things... That is a tall order...
Fellow metalhead, I dub thee.......SUPER MEGA AWESOME!!!!! :D (throws horns) As always, your work has blown my mind away. :D

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

Thank you, Raven, you always cheer me up with the metalish enthusiasm...
Raven Moonchild

6 Years Ago

And thank you for sharing more of your brilliant mind, dude. :)
As usual, great flow of words , and a beautiful poem here. I loved it.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

As usual, I enjoyed the review, thank you
Priyanshi

6 Years Ago

Haha..my pleasure.
Check out musehickpublications.com - if you are interested, send me something.

paul

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

I shall, Paul, thank you very much
Captivaing words to discribe moving on.. ;) you have serious imagination !! great words..

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

I appreciate the time and support, Hebe, thank you
I love the flow! Just like all your poems it was beautifully written

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

Thank you, Anna, glad you enjoyed
Grammar corrections/optional edits:

Emulating stars of maybe in May, hey baby, ray stuns and gravy
I'm alive and unfettered bravely
I'm better than wetter dogs with rabies, a slave to crazy, still jive and raving
Dime shot on sight, creeping hog tied up tight, and I'm slightly light in the pockets
Mark-it and hearken, steady ready caulk-it
Off-it like rockets I'm parkin' and stalkin' on foot at the market
I stray when I pursue loose grooves with my pick...
No-stop-it
Can't slick-pin her, hoppin' to the sloppin', and next target is barkin'
I'm farther than a garden guarded by sovereign guardians pawin' and slobberin'
Lower than drains clogged with pain runnin' on sugar-bane
Can it tame the blame that I swing wildly like a cane
Like a similie for lame? I'm lamer than lame
Now steady aim and pray we coast today, mope and sway
Lay to rest grace, but sashay when slain
Sass and flame?
Hah...
Might as well use our brains.
Use our lanes to go nowhere, or somehere I never know, but something has to flow
Indeed it knows the deed of rose, and crows that fold and blow on slopes
The corpse is coarse, of course I'm morose
The host is boasted roast, and I'm hoisting oats to make up gropes in the dark
I'm not dark I swear I'm far from it, an ark of ravens slaying carpets
Now the pavement calls me, need a beat-back symphony to make it...
No problem
You lay the six by me, and I'll do the farmin'
Just remember...
No sobbin'

Comments:

I made very few changes to your original piece, mostly because it's impossible to substitute many other words in without losing the flow of what you already have going here. I love this poem, for a lot of reasons. First, your writing seems intensely nostalgic. It's not something that can really be put to words, but if you've heard the surrealist album, "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea," then you know what I'm talking about. Second, the meter and flow of your poems are great. It's like riding a supremely fun and structured poetic rollercoaster. While you change the rhythm many times over, nothing really jumps out and surprises the reader. It all feels very natural. I would start trying to avoid cutting words short with the apostrophes as it becomes just a tad redundant sometimes. But when used tastefully, it's extremely effective. Overall, great job. I loved it.


Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Chase Dylan

6 Years Ago

I will say, you changed a few key things with the editing... Not bad, friend, not exactly as intende.. read more

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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 17, 2017
Last Updated on July 17, 2017
Tags: Poetry

Author

Chase Dylan
Chase Dylan

Denver, CO



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Words have me, but I never seem to have words. more..

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