King of Flawed Reason

Festering molestation of achin'...

I'm separated by my own demons, my own feelings leapt alive with meanin'...

I'm crowning myself king of flawed reason...

For the reason I stand alone most the time...

Is I'm not feeling very grown at the time...

Like a seed with no warmth, a man outta lines, my rhymes are not good enough...

I stow it under and keep grumblin', actin' tough, mining away and wondering if it will ever be true...

Will I follow a shining path or break hollow and used...

Blasted by traces of iced gas, leaving me numb and bruised...

A rats uncle I'm stuffy and masked, you are sultry and out of grasp...

So I gasp and raise myself above the bar, I raise my own bar...

The imperfection flawed is tar that stops and harms...

Will I garner enough force to engulf mars...

Or will I fall hard and overwhelmed...

Just scars...

Author's Note

Sometimes depression is crippling... Hope everyone reading this remembers they are not alone in the fight... Keep living day-to-day, and know you are valued... Have a good one

Reviews

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

This is so abstract, and so beautiful, just as always. I specially love the lines,

"The imperfection flawed is tar that stops and harms...
Will I garner enough force to engulf mars...
Or will I fall hard and overwhelmed...
Just scars..."

Just so beautiful.

Love,
Vasilees

[Chase Dylan]

As always, a beautiful review, Vasilees, thank you, and am glad you enjoyed

[ROXANE DORSEY]

Real mental depression exist. thanks for sharing this nice poem.

[Chase Dylan]

It really does... Thank you again, Roxane

[several thousand]

This one is amazing.
One of your best so far.
Thanks for sharing.

[Chase Dylan]

I appreciate that sentiment, Poet, thank you very much

[CAPOLAVORO]

Okay, this one is quite different from the other. Like how you started it with deep emotion and ended it light. "Just scars..." This is the perfect end. You need not to add more than that. Polished.

Sincerely,
CAPOLAVORO

[Chase Dylan]

Well thank you for the advice, Cap, I rarely, if ever, change things I have already done.... Onward to bigger and scarier mountains, I always say... Well I do not ALWAYS say that... But I am saying it now...! Haha

[barleygirl]

Even tho I very much enjoy your rapid-fire wordplay & rhyming in most of the things I've read of yours so far, I have to say this one feels more balanced to me. I like this one the best so far becuz the rhyming is not a distraction to the meaning. The message is strong & takes center stage with the rhyming just being more of a decoration around the edges. This, to me, is a good balance. But we don't always need to be balanced.

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Barley
I am glad the intent behind this one was well received
Balance/unbalanced... W/e tonic is needed to make the day roll

[MaximumFlight]

This is beautiful and I understand. What people don't really understand unless it's their problem, depression can literally be crippling to where you feel pain and you don't wanna get back up out of bed. This sends a message that not everyone can really understand unless they live it. This really does send a message to keep on going, no matter what others think or say, it's a problem to surpass and it's a hard one to get over.

Sorry for kinda blabbing on, but this really got to me. Thanks for sharing this :)

[Chase Dylan]

Nah, you are okey... Blabbing is the best! Heh... Thanks, seriously, and I am glad you liked it so much

[pragya gaur]

Great job..... Keep writing

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, I will try

[Amber]

It was powerful, thought you did an awesome job.

[Chase Dylan]

Thanks very much, Amber, that means a lot to hear

[Amber]

You are welcome and thank you for sharing your writing with me.

[Stephanie M]

Writing can be very therapeutic. Personally, I think writing is the best cure for depression. May I ask what style of poetry you are using? You are very talented. I dabble in poetry, but I don't know much about the different forms.

[Chase Dylan]

Uhm... That is a VERY good question, Steph...
I just kind of made-up my style... I have NO idea what you would officially call it...
"I" call it:
"Flow Landscape"
But, like you, I have no clue about the different forms...
So call it what you will, heh...
Thanks so much, and I hope I answered your question well! Your "dabbling" seems pretty okay to me! Hah

[lightsong]

What I really like about this poem is two things, Your author's note, and the fact that You know that You alone can help Your self, but this doesn't mean that a gentle caress of a hand, or a caring ear won't help You, sometimes just a little care all You need to have the energy to move up, I like that You are unselfish, to foget Your own despair and lay Your hand to all whom are like You, and there are so many my friend... each in their own circumstances, I feel here You are talking too about Your own struggling through writing, ask me about it, not a happy thing at all, especially when You think of writing as the thing You only know how to do in life, sometimes imperfection what makes us so special, and Your title says it too :)

I see from where Your musical review to me came, it's that You have the beat of music trough Your words, I love music... I believe in it and its power.

Thank You for sharing this with all of us, many beautiful wishes I send for You, much Love*

[Chase Dylan]

I had to re-read your message a few times, Light, because it was absolutely humbling... Your words resonate within me quite strongly, and I WAS talking about those things here... A very unique perception. I never thought of it like that... The author is being unselfish by forgetting there despair to help others... You have amazed me with your insight, and thank you so much...
Music is my ALL, and I am right there with you in believing in its power...
Thank you so much, again, friend, you have certainly brought some light to my day...

[lightsong]

My warmest pleasure that I brought some Light to Your day*
Take good care of You my friend.

[Cecelia A. Green]

You rhyme really well!!!
We all face these problems some way and I hope everyone recovers from it and kick demons' a*s!!!

[Chase Dylan]

^^Me too, Cecelia, and thanks ever so much.... Get to kickin' dem demons arses!