Cotton Anxious (Edited by YumnaKay)

Focusing on locusts...

 I focus on

locust

hocus pocus

corpus 'n' oak'us ​- ​cloak'us

forest broken 'n' soakin'

evokin' mopin' ​; ​a rope'n elope

and slope'n​...​

​I'​m open like robes

​...​hose me down​...​

​...​hopes crown​...​

​

I'​m bound to sound

round my pound​,​

out of drowns​,​

so air hounds​ --​ abound​.​

​

I'​m loud in a cloud​,​

the ground amounts​

 to an ounce of mounds

-- and now​ --​

​I'​m bound

a bat outta hell

as​ -​ ​I​ fall and

sell myself short​ ...​ at bat​.​

​I'​m a rat​ ~​ so phat

​

I'​m cracked at the seams

​...​it se​e​ms​...​

my means are weaned

and lean, now sleep​

and dream​​

of eating ​​reams​.​

​T​he paper bling

that screams

as the mean king 

reaps ​-​ with ease​.​

​I'​m asleep and cream-filled​ 

​a donut​ ​still​ -​- 

​I​ will be​ --​- still​.​

​M​y will is filled

with obnoxious krill​,​

that kill and kill​...​

like the pill​​

​...oxycotin​...​

​

N​oxious​;​ ​I'​m

cotton anxious

forgotten angst, christ​;​

it​'​s drilled into my head

a bill of dead bits

lead to lead a message, Zed 

- in a bottle -

when will the mess begin​?​

​

I'​m throttled, a model citizen

and ​--- ​it ends​,​

no rest for trimmed

and

~ gobbled friends​.​

Author's Note

Another superb edit by YumnaKay... If you have not already, check out her writing, it is talented work...! Thanks, and have a good one, everyone!

Reviews

[lightsong]

You two have made me so smile :) truth I can feel Yumna's mind jumping here and there taking the lead for Your own mind to jump after, and I'm pretty sure You liked so much the freedom it gave You, I feel real joy through the whole piece, where nothing else matter, the whole world doesn't matter!
Thank You both!

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Light, glad to share a smile

[Einstein Noodle]

really great poem to read out loud ..the beat is persistent but not pressed .. this is one of the reasons I love visiting at the Cafe ..so many things to hear ..so many ways things are told ..reminds me of the beat generation .. its irreverent, challenging,absurd and thought provoking ..so glad I stopped to read
E.

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Ein, I am glad you did as well, as I value your input... Always nice to see

[Raven Moonchild]

I'm not worthy to read your awesome work dude. NOT WORTHY!!!!! (bows and throws horns in salute)

[Chase Dylan]

You def' are, lol, thanks for the (always unique) take on things, Raven.... But remember... All who follow the mighty metal path... Are worthy of reading all things, lolol

[Raven Moonchild]

Spoken like a true God of Metal, my friend. (throws horns) :D

[Ellie Qtz]

This poem was really interesting, i love just seeing what words can do!

[Chase Dylan]

Aye, me as well, Ellie, that is what this was... Thanks so much

[Amber]

I believe this was a very painful piece, but it touched me, it was very moving and beautiful.

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Amber

[Kesha]

A wonderful piece, I really love the way she edits. She did another piece of mine too.. this is a great piece too, wonderful job by both! You 2 are very talented :)

[Chase Dylan]

Thanks, Kesha, and I think Yumna is very talented as well

[Kesha]

You're welcome

[Vasilees Sybissyl]

Very imaginative, and so engaging! This is a great poem. The last lines are my favourite, for some reason.

Love,
Vasilees.

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Val, and mine as well...

[A little flame]

Some trippy, down the rabbit hole stuff right here. Great work!

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Flame

[Carol Cashes]

I must be gettin' smah-tah...I followed this all the way through catching every little reference to actual locusts! (Christ, I hope that's what it's about. If it's not and it's all symbolism of some high and lofty ideal, dont' tell me. Let me wallow in this little ego pit I just dug for myself.)

"bound to sound" "air hounds" "cracked at the seams" "paper bling" "drilled into my head"
Locusts are all these and more.

And all scattered artfully and skillfully throughout like a boss...

[Chase Dylan]

Lol, I shall not rip from you the grand arcs you have made in the sky with your take on this.... (Do locusts fly?) Thank you, and I laughed at this... Aha... Really, thanks

[barleygirl]

Nice job of doing a somewhat "rap" sound with your imaginative cumulative rhyming, yet not "rap" at all, in terms of the gentle telling of details & feelings. I don't follow this stream of consciousness like a story, but I very much appreciate the obvious time spent crafting this flow of observations into playful expressions.

[Chase Dylan]

Aye, Barley, tis just a stream of rhyming I did for practice, Yumna did a wonderful job of making it a playful and exciting reading experience. Thank you

[Mr.Writer]

Such an engaging, adventurous poem Silente and Yumna!
I was really hooked into it due to the rap/rhyme :D
It had a sense of reality into it due to anxious parts in it and emotions as well!
Well done guys, keep it up!!!

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Mr. Writer

[Mr.Writer]

No problem :)