Alaskan Savage

Lemons and elephants...

Manic erratic combative out ah-it element flippin' it rippin' it gettin' it zippin' it dippin' it imminent intricate immigrant

 Now I be sippin' it cinnamon dividend evidence elephants skimmin' it grippin' it ribbons and lemons of heavens

I'm sentient definite devilish effortless semblance of betterment

Gotta be synonyms 

Cinema sinnin' a kitten a mitten a bitter December remember avenger develop ah-leverage

A passage gadget

Passive habit

Rabid aladdin' grabbin' magic rapid' askin' for Alaskan ravage a savage maskin' gaspin' like passion baskin'

A basket is wrappin' for havoc unlashin' rations bashin' taverns

Follow the lanterns

Hollow on Saturn...

The rings are vapor craters that are tapered for able-daters

 I'm a saber ravin' a raven raidin' a labor haven

Craven vampire cravin' a safer empire

An umpire says safe pavement but its fake diamond 

The rough slimin' abidin' hidin' tridents violent

Try to dent a silent rhyme-in half a second

It's past eleven I'm bidin' my second second chance countin' islands as they pass 

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

such an interesting piece...has such movement in it's beat, and being more about not moving, being apathetic....letting things just happen----we stand too idle these days, i believe...we need more voices to be raised in defiance of what we have become as a society....
nicely done here.
powerful.
j.

[Chase Dylan]

Coming from you, Sir Jacob, tis a compliment of the highest accord... You are still one of the best writers on here, thank you, sincerely...

[Ana B.]

Your writing style if way above standard dear author. Lovely scheme and unfortunately true. Too many fake diamonds are ruling this world...

[Chase Dylan]

Agreed, Ana, so very agreed... Thanks very much for the time

[Anjali]

Your poem is always a song and this time the beginning seems an excellent rap.

[Chase Dylan]

Thank you, Anj, I am happy that is what you are reminded of

[Anjali]

You are welcome 😊

[Nipplegrinder]

I somewhat agree with Iron Horseman. The beginning didn't capture me, but, hell yes, that final stanza, did. This is good writing.

[Chase Dylan]

Thanks so much, Grinder... I feel the same as you both, this was lyrics... So the first part is more about the sound then message... So I am glad my end wrapped nicely...

[Einstein Noodle]

that title absolutely grabbed me ..had to check it out! love reding your rap out loud to myself ..the music of your words and tempo changes seem effortless ..and oh my..one can get a whole lot of head into just about anywhere in your lines and phrases .. simply enjoyed the sound of the "Alaskan Savage" as i feel a chill of the tundra run through me ... gonna jump off on one of the tropical islands shooting by if i can ;)
E.

[Chase Dylan]

Seeing as this IS an actual rap out loud, I am glad to hear someone is enjoying its dissonance.... Very much appreciated, Einstein, thank you

[The Iron Horseman]

Sorry, my friend, the first part of this did not grab me at all; I just thought it was trying too hard.
But then I got down to this:
"Hollow on Saturn...
The rings are vapor craters that are tapered for able-daters
I'm a saber ravin' a raven raidin' a labor haven
Craven vampire cravin' a safer empire
An umpire says safe pavement but its fake diamond
The rough slimin' abidin' hidin' tridents violent
Try to dent a silent rhyme-in half a second
It's past eleven I'm bidin' my second second chance countin' islands as they pass "
This is truly awesome! If it were mine, I would make this a standalone work in its own right! Love it!

[Chase Dylan]

Nah, I love the honesty, especially from a real reader... Thank you, and this was a rap piece, the first part is supposed to be super fast, so I can def' hear you over the not very interesting writing style, heh.... I def' loved the end, as well

[The Iron Horseman]

I guess I need to get back into this now summer is officially over! :)

[Chase Dylan]

I know right... Perhaps it is time for my return on a more regular basis... Have kept my writing to myself in the hopes it would accomplish more progression... I was half right... Hah

[The Iron Horseman]

Lol! Stay in touch, my friend. I will post some more stuff soon - if I can get my head working again!

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

All rise! Silente Excellente, King of His Genre, has entered, slayed, and now.......left..... the building.
Respect given!

[Priyanshi]

He is one of the brilliant writer....Silente is really Excellente.

[Chase Dylan]

Ahh... Thank you, both of you'z... I appreciate it, truly...

[Priyanshi]

Always a pleasure.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

You'z welcome my friend!:):)

[Raven Moonchild]

Sorry, do give me a moment to pick up my brain. It was blown across the room by the sheer amazingness of your work, my heavy metal friend. :D

[Chase Dylan]

Raven! Thanks, friend.... *Metal forever*

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSh..]

Gotta be synonyms. Entertaining write full of visuals
and raw emotion layered with ryhme. Masterful write

Sheer Terror

[Chase Dylan]

Ahh, Sheer Terror, a pleasure to hear from such a gifted writer... Thank you, humbly

[Jackie]

Were, or are you working on rhyming, or possinbly multi syllables? can see how this could be great training too. i ought try this out as well. anyhow, i really enjoyed the rhyming. i find that it makes it much more fun to read, to play with words in all..

[Chase Dylan]

Aye, mate, lots of training and practice for actually spitting my verses and such... Plus, like you said... I just like to freakin rhyme, heh... Thanks very much, and you SHOULD... Nothing helps writing more than extensive pushing of ones boundaries

[wordman]

almost like a dance,loved it !

[Chase Dylan]

Thanks, Mr Man of Words... It IS somewhat like a verbal dance...