Deconstructing My Inefficiency

Deconstructing My Inefficiency

A Poem by Silente
"

A fish in the sea...

"
Deconstructing my inefficiency I find deficiency
A fish in the sea
Unable to see past inner dirty beeps that I speak when wrapped in fleet clouds
A sun god with a hound
I'm crass, I'll blast with mashes of fast acts
I'm a spaz, I'll cast the branch back so it smacks you as you pass
I rap with white eyes so black ice can fight the sunlight and become shadowed night
tight-lipped in fright, they speak with spite in spite of the signs saying do or die
So I did and didn't die, but that was a lie cause I'm dry now
a husk of slime with flies now...
I sense rejection like deaths inception found me hovering before an entity
who laid me humble before an enemy, who said to me rise today and take this remedy
be a servant and prosperity will find you like prophecy
You will have ten dreams of fallacy
I see Alice in steep allowance making cups outta gallons of jealousy
the policy is to gallop free of abhorrent heaps of troubled seas
It's said to be fumbles with creeps in the mud hole of greed
but gallantly I sense unburdened crumbles...
Much like having tea and crumpets in kevlar jeans    


© 2017 Silente



My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Zoe
It's always the same, but actually very different every time. Lol. I hope you get what I mean. If you don't, then fair enough...After all I don't usually get what YOU mean. Hell, this was funny! Especially these lines:
'I'm a spaz, I'll cast the branch back so it smacks you as you pass'
'a husk of slime with flies now...'
And the last one, of course, was the show stopper. Mind boggingly written!

Posted 1 Month Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Silente

3 Weeks Ago

I gotcha, heh... I think, and a hoped thought, I guess is as good as a known one... Thank you, Zoe



Reviews

It's an awesome piece resonating the words of those classic poets where rhythm and synchronization fitted the heart. thanks for sharing

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you for the kind words, Gaurav
"be a servant and prosperity will find you like prophecy"
This line showed me that you have a moral lurking somewhere in you...that gives me inspiration. good write dear

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

3 Weeks Ago

We all need some moral structure lurking deep within us.... I am glad to have inspired and shown you.. read more
Your rhymes are very good..
It is a nice poem.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jes' Pi

3 Weeks Ago

Work more. You can do better. We can always do better.
Silente

3 Weeks Ago

Finally... Someone who understands... Our journey of self-mastery does not end till we die...
Silente

3 Weeks Ago

I will... You too, Pi... You too...
Its a rap right, do you rap this or what?

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

3 Weeks Ago

Haha, Yes, I definitely do, Jack
That twisted time where relevance and gravity way heavy on ones heart is delicious in this piece, well done, good read.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

3 Weeks Ago

Oh wow... This is incredibly poetic and deep... I am flattered I could spark such appreciation... Th.. read more
I like the way it picks up the pace throughout to the mic-drop.
The 'black ice' line made me raise a Spock eyebrow in appreciation.
Excellente Silente !

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

3 Weeks Ago

Yes! That was my favorite part, got my Spock eyebrow up as well, hah... Thank you, TJ
Oh man . I am a fan of you from today . Read your poem it was awesome . The poetic tools were utilized in a way that brought the theme out in a very grasping manner .
Be my sesnsei will you . Teach me .
(Sorry cant help it . I loved your writing)

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

3 Weeks Ago

I love to teach anyone who wants to learn, Raghib, thank you for appreciating so much
Love it, Silente! The final line absolutely slays me! I gotta get me some of those kevlar jeans!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

3 Weeks Ago

I agree, Iron, it would help with spills... Thank you
An intense write full of imagery to tease the reader, we are our own worst critics but sometimes respected by our enemies. Nice heavily packed writing!

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you, Andrew
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Zoe
It's always the same, but actually very different every time. Lol. I hope you get what I mean. If you don't, then fair enough...After all I don't usually get what YOU mean. Hell, this was funny! Especially these lines:
'I'm a spaz, I'll cast the branch back so it smacks you as you pass'
'a husk of slime with flies now...'
And the last one, of course, was the show stopper. Mind boggingly written!

Posted 1 Month Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Silente

3 Weeks Ago

I gotcha, heh... I think, and a hoped thought, I guess is as good as a known one... Thank you, Zoe

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

615 Views
23 Reviews
Rating
Added on October 17, 2017
Last Updated on October 17, 2017
Tags: Poetry

Author

Silente
Silente

Denver, CO



About
When you have no words... Go find them! They get lost easily... (Seriously) Moving "Pure Rhymes" onto a free social platform... Come join like-minded individuals in an environment created by com.. more..

Writing
Plagiarism Plagiarism

A Poem by Silente



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Twelve Shoes Twelve Shoes

A Poem by Gee