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Deconstructing My Inefficiency

Deconstructing My Inefficiency

A Poem by Silente
"

A fish in the sea...

"
Deconstructing my inefficiency I find deficiency
A fish in the sea
Unable to see past inner dirty beeps that I speak when wrapped in fleet clouds
A sun god with a hound
I'm crass, I'll blast with mashes of fast acts
I'm a spaz, I'll cast the branch back so it smacks you as you pass
I rap with white eyes so black ice can fight the sunlight and become shadowed night
tight-lipped in fright, they speak with spite in spite of the signs saying do or die
So I did and didn't die, but that was a lie cause I'm dry now
a husk of slime with flies now...
I sense rejection like deaths inception found me hovering before an entity
who laid me humble before an enemy, who said to me rise today and take this remedy
be a servant and prosperity will find you like prophecy
You will have ten dreams of fallacy
I see Alice in steep allowance making cups outta gallons of jealousy
the policy is to gallop free of abhorrent heaps of troubled seas
It's said to be fumbles with creeps in the mud hole of greed
but gallantly I sense unburdened crumbles...
Much like having tea and crumpets in kevlar jeans    


© 2017 Silente



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Zoe
It's always the same, but actually very different every time. Lol. I hope you get what I mean. If you don't, then fair enough...After all I don't usually get what YOU mean. Hell, this was funny! Especially these lines:
'I'm a spaz, I'll cast the branch back so it smacks you as you pass'
'a husk of slime with flies now...'
And the last one, of course, was the show stopper. Mind boggingly written!

Posted 10 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Silente

9 Months Ago

I gotcha, heh... I think, and a hoped thought, I guess is as good as a known one... Thank you, Zoe



Reviews

You are an amazing poet. Interesting use of imagery. I can relate to this one. Sometimes I have a difficult time seeing past my own flaws. Sometimes I feel inadequate. Nicely written! You sure have a way with words.

Posted 5 Months Ago


Damn that's sharp. Your word play and poetry rhythm never fails to impress. This is a great piece.
-Richard

Posted 6 Months Ago


I love the last line here!
Evolving into something unique/

Posted 7 Months Ago


"the signs saying do or die"

wow.


Posted 7 Months Ago


ha, love the play of words, dear author :) you never know what you may find when deconstructing your inefficiency :D masterfully done, as always, wish i'd reach such levels...

Posted 7 Months Ago


I won't lie , i didn't understand many of the vocabularies ( i am not native English speaker ), but what i understand is amazing and deep

Posted 8 Months Ago


It's an awesome piece resonating the words of those classic poets where rhythm and synchronization fitted the heart. thanks for sharing

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

9 Months Ago

Thank you for the kind words, Gaurav
"be a servant and prosperity will find you like prophecy"
This line showed me that you have a moral lurking somewhere in you...that gives me inspiration. good write dear

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

9 Months Ago

We all need some moral structure lurking deep within us.... I am glad to have inspired and shown you.. read more
Your rhymes are very good..
It is a nice poem.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Jes' Pi

9 Months Ago

Work more. You can do better. We can always do better.
Silente

9 Months Ago

Finally... Someone who understands... Our journey of self-mastery does not end till we die...
Silente

9 Months Ago

I will... You too, Pi... You too...
Its a rap right, do you rap this or what?

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Silente

9 Months Ago

Haha, Yes, I definitely do, Jack

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29 Reviews
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Added on October 17, 2017
Last Updated on October 17, 2017
Tags: Poetry

Author

Silente
Silente

Denver, CO



About
When you have no words... Go find them! They get lost easily... (Seriously) Moving "Pure Rhymes" onto a free social platform... Come join like-minded individuals in an environment created by com.. more..

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