Dying Sun

Dying Sun

A Poem by Doodley
"

In the darkness; a cry for help shall come.

"
Where art thou? My Dying Sun;
Whose majestic iridescence, lights my day;
Who smiles and beams, recedes my dreams,
Guides me along my winding way.


What you, My love? What you to say?
As I bear my burden's this path, this day;
Speak Now - Or Hush! Forevermore -
As I lay me down on this Earthen shore.


From restless rest should I awake,
To the midnight dark, the moonlit lake,
Mine eyes shall weep, my breath shall sigh,
My heart shall plead in frightful cry;


Oh! Where art thou, My Dying Sun!
Oh, heed my prayer! Don't leave me there!
Cocoon me upon your reverent breast,
For all eternity - to rest, to rest.



© 2016 Doodley



Author's Note

Doodley
This poem does not conform to the accepted laws of prose and poetry. To me it does not matter. It burst forth with such force that I had to share it.
I would appreciate any comments.

My Review

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Featured Review

A moon rose quietly
from out out of the dark
as if in this very night
it had heard me hearken.

It then stayed the hours
until came the very light of the dawn
then came the very choice that this moon had given me
to rise again or choose to rest forever eternally!


Posted 2 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

A nice continuation of the piece, Raj. Thanks for reading.



Reviews

Doodley,
"Dying Sun"
The human factor; We cry, languish, cling to hope. We wonder; am I all right, have I done enough; etc, etc.
We are not animals of instinct but of spirt, soul and body; complex, wonderful and full of intricacy.
At life's end, is it any wonder we are just tired?! "Cocoon me upon your reverent breast, for all eternity- to rest, to rest."
Balanced, lyrical, winsome yet strong poem. Loved it!
Blessings, as always.
Kathy

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

8 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Kathy. I appreciate your insights for this piece and taking the.. read more
Kathy Van Kurin

8 Months Ago

You are surly welcome, it was all my pleasure to do so! this poem was one of introspection and lovel.. read more
For me, poetry strikes/ hits me with two things, the literary beauty and the other one is strong feeling of emotion. I find all your writes maintain that literary merit whereas this one shows a strongly felt call for someone or thing. you can apply it for both, a person or a call for Ray of hope.
This one touches the heart. Thank you for sharing this..

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

1 Year Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Bala. I appreciate you taking a look at this early piece of wri.. read more
I would love to be able to say the last 4 lines to my husband. Valentine

Posted 1 Year Ago


Doodley

1 Year Ago

Thank you for reading.
I really like this title Dying sun ( resemblance with your waning moon). There is a kind of intensity in it which readers can feel. Actually, Sun depicts the soul and Moon is the mind and sometimes Sun is the lover and Moon is his beloved. There is a kind of relation that exists between these two elements of universe and your ability to use these celestial bodies in poetry is very very beautiful.
Doodley, again it is a wonderful write.
Your longing for a ray of light can be easily seen and understood.
In the darkness ( when sun is dying ) a cry for help will always be heard by the rising moon.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

1 Year Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Gorthi. This is an earlier poem, and one of my personal favouri.. read more
Your longing
And these words
Calling out for someone that lights up your world
I can feel you miss this person



Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

Very accurate. Longing indeed. For a saviour. A light in the darkness. A sliver of hope. All of thes.. read more
Precious Seconds

2 Years Ago

I find my sun by closing my eyes ... remembering everything he said and his light just is reborn ..... read more
This poem has brought me to some place in between of warm and cold, of sweet and bitter, of hope and sorrow. It's about memories and expectation. A combination of life's formulation. Thanks for sharing the poem. Nice!

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Meitha. This poem is actually a cry for help, written at a time.. read more
Very beautiful and warm poem

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

Thank you, Hannah. I have received your RR. I will get to it as soon as I can. Thank you for reading.. read more
This reads like a beautiful psalm to me.
What a cry.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

Thank you for another read/review, Bacchus. This one is partly a tribute to John Keats, while also h.. read more
I really love the flow this poem has, it's very enjoyable to read and since I love the sun I so relate to the woes of where forth art thou - although she's starting to make her presence known now more and more :) thanks for sharing this!


Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

And Thank you for reading and reviewing, Carolynn. The sun is majestic in all her glory isn't she? J.. read more
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mou
Emotions flow with the rhythm of poetic moonlit night.Very nice poem.Many Thanks for sharing,

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

And thank you, Mou, for reading and reviewing my work.

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17 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 28, 2016
Last Updated on January 28, 2016
Tags: poem, sad, hope, cry, help, melancholy

Author

Doodley
Doodley

Sydney , Australia



About
I'm an Equine Scientist undergoing an artistic Renaissance. I welcome all friend requests and am willing to read and review on a consistent basis as long as the friendship serves both our purposes... more..

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