Child O' Mine

Child O' Mine

A Poem by Doodley
"

A vision in dreaming.

"
Remnants of a vision, a fractal in the mind,
A work of such precision, that Nostradamus could not find,

You seared into the memory, upon the dawning of the day,
You filled mine eyes with sweetness, whereupon my bed I lay.

A promise of a future, for a bent and broken man,
Who vowed himself to greatness, to be all that he can.

For you were such a beauty, of grace beyond define,
And the smile that you gave me, lit the darkest heart of mine.

And so I told my lover, of the being that could be,
Of the softness of her footfalls, on the temper within me.

As the dream reached Earthly clarity, bore on sunshine of the day,
The north wind blew, the crescendo grew, and took my Love away.

Left me standing lonesome, as the clouds came bursting through,
And the rain and cold abound me, washed away the thought of you.

If zero and one could make a one, I'd long me here, to you,
But bless my heart, my darling, there is nothing I can do.

As the Autumn fruits doth whither, abreast the wilting vine,
I look within, without, withine, my sweet, sweet Child O' Mine.


© 2016 Doodley



Author's Note

Doodley
I am having a crisis of confidence with my writing at the moment. I don't think this is one of my best efforts, but here it is anyway.
Any comments are appreciated.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

'Child O' Mine'
Doodley,
This was truly a reminder of the intricate beauty of the human being. We are many layered in our inner selves. Pain, joy, loss, hopes, these and many more are the stream which is within the heart. This above poem really explained the reality of your own process of coping of expressing the realty which you were feeling at this time. This was encouraging to me for I go through periods when it is hard to know what to write or if I want to even try. You did that here with what was happening at the time. It was even more beautiful because of it's transparency. Loved it!
Kath

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

1 Month Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Kathy. I appreciate your comments and kind words on this older .. read more
Kathy Van Kurin

1 Month Ago

You are very welcome. Nice to hear your input. It is always nice to understand and see some context.



Reviews

'Child O' Mine'
Doodley,
This was truly a reminder of the intricate beauty of the human being. We are many layered in our inner selves. Pain, joy, loss, hopes, these and many more are the stream which is within the heart. This above poem really explained the reality of your own process of coping of expressing the realty which you were feeling at this time. This was encouraging to me for I go through periods when it is hard to know what to write or if I want to even try. You did that here with what was happening at the time. It was even more beautiful because of it's transparency. Loved it!
Kath

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

1 Month Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Kathy. I appreciate your comments and kind words on this older .. read more
Kathy Van Kurin

1 Month Ago

You are very welcome. Nice to hear your input. It is always nice to understand and see some context.
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Zoe
This sure is one of your best, Doodley. This is very different from your other poems. Scary to read. Nothing is worse than a loved one being taken away. I can see below that this a personal write, but i hope that the situation you faced was less intense that the one described here. Loved the last line. Great read!

Posted 7 Months Ago


Doodley

7 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Zoe. A very early write, this one. And far from being my best. .. read more
Zoe

7 Months Ago

Amateurish...lol. Most welcome.
Sense or not, you have some beautiful lines in this write. Try to keep on topic. Valentine

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

1 Year Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing. The flow is fine. Stays on topic.
This is stunning ..... but i feel there is so much to your words that are hidden

maybe this is a wish
its beautiful

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

Thank you again, Nisreen. This is a very personal write. Something i hold dearly and close to my hea.. read more
Precious Seconds

2 Years Ago

May God give it to you ...... amen
hi jason - the images are a dream to behold - i think you'd make a good father to your children - on the other hand, and i mean no offense, i kinda got lost down the sixth and eight stanzas - i wonder why would a north wind (what does it represent) does it represent 'death' of some kind? - take away your dream away from you - also, what does zero and one wants to impart to me - please let me know, my friend, what these lines mean - i would appreciate to know and understand :)

best to you,
steph

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

Thank you for your review, Steph. This was an emotional write, at a time of extreme sadness and loss.. read more
I love this withering love- so honest.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

So honest. And So true. Thank you for reading and reviewing, Bacchus. I now owe you three in return.
You are a amazing writer.
"And so I told my lover, of the being that could be,
Of the softness of her footfalls, on the temper within me. "
Your words gentle and powerful. Made the writer think and wander to better places and thoughts. I like the above lines a lot. Thank you Doodley for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing my work, Coyote. A very sad, personal write this one was. And i .. read more
Coyote Poetry

2 Years Ago

Was my pleasure to read your work and you are welcome.
I quite enjoyed this with its old time feel and good rhythm. It's a bit sad when someone has lost a loved one but to lose both lover and child or possible child just doubles the pain. You bring very good imagery to your writing - not sure why you're having any confidence issues - this was really good! :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

Thank you for your very kind words, Carolynn. This is not my best work. Have been fighting the poet'.. read more
Carolynn

2 Years Ago

Ahh, a perfectionist a bit? :) nothing wrong with having high standards but some really great poems .. read more
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
jay
This is some good stuff. So many emotions

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Years Ago

Thank you for reading, Jay. A very emotional write this one was, yes. Welcome to my poetic domain!

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

832 Views
22 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 20, 2016
Last Updated on February 20, 2016
Tags: poem, longing, lost love, child, dreaming, vision

Author

Doodley
Doodley

Sydney , Australia



About
Equine Scientist. Master of Calm. Soother of Ranting Females and a sometime Poet. Also a Genie too, if some are to be believed. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..