Lachrymose Love

Lachrymose Love

A Poem by Doodley
"

Keats whispered in my ear.

"
For thee is there no more tender sight,
Than to stand upon the precipice of love at night,
With beating heart held in wistful hands,
And stare across seas to thy beloved's lands?

Oh! To be bathed in hope from the luminous light,
That reflects off the waves, so forever bright!
As ye affix thy gaze on a wandering star,
And follow its journey to thy love from afar!

As ye stand on the threshold of the place thee belong,
The heart in thy hands sings its systolic song,
And its cries of its longing traverse infinite seas,
Guided by the caress of the night mistress breeze.

It is a Lachrymose Love that it sends off to thou,
Across oceans and glaciers and mountain tear snow,
To settle in the chambers of the place it calls home,
To sleep there forever, and never to roam.

And upon the lonely precipice ye stand there and wait,
For a diastolic love tune that will seal thy fate,
Shall that heart grow its own wings and soar into sky?,
Or fade into silence, to shrivel and die?

© 2017 Doodley



Author's Note

Doodley
Written in a moment of personal Romanticism.

Any comments are greatly appreciated.

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Featured Review

Doodley Doodley Doodley.. This one is so sick! I am feeling the vibe of this piece, especially at the moment. Well written. Well said. This longing and this realization of emotion is stated with a lot of depth and power. In case you haven't noticed, (Knives put away, I SWEAR~!) ...power poetry is my fave. If it's not powerful... it's not poetry!!
Good job Doodley.
..Misty

Posted 11 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

M. L. F.

1 Month Ago

No.... o.o My photography has taken off and I have been studying for my Dutch exams. lol
Doodley

1 Month Ago

Well Done. Good luck with the exams. And his book is a real doorstopper!
M. L. F.

1 Month Ago

Aww thanks!! I will check it out after exams end Nov.. Great to talk again Doodley :)



Reviews

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mou
just full of emotion...... speaks and shows a wonderful insight..and yes it never fade into silence ...silence is the most powerful word to a perfect,understanding heart...
a profound write and thanks Doodley for sharing with us..

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

10 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Mou. I appreciate your continual support of my writing. Happy N.. read more
mou

10 Months Ago

thank you so much Doodley..Wish you too a happy new year
How long have you been writing? Your poems are amazing. The rhyming isn't at all forced or distracting. This whole thing is so emotional and so powerful. You clearly put a lot of time and effort into your work.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

11 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Hannah. I have been on cafe since January, so officially only b.. read more
The longing in this is palpable. I can really relate to the last stanza; are you going to fly or die little bird? What will your heart do? I love it

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

11 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Dani. I appreciate the kind words.
Doodley Doodley Doodley.. This one is so sick! I am feeling the vibe of this piece, especially at the moment. Well written. Well said. This longing and this realization of emotion is stated with a lot of depth and power. In case you haven't noticed, (Knives put away, I SWEAR~!) ...power poetry is my fave. If it's not powerful... it's not poetry!!
Good job Doodley.
..Misty

Posted 11 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

M. L. F.

1 Month Ago

No.... o.o My photography has taken off and I have been studying for my Dutch exams. lol
Doodley

1 Month Ago

Well Done. Good luck with the exams. And his book is a real doorstopper!
M. L. F.

1 Month Ago

Aww thanks!! I will check it out after exams end Nov.. Great to talk again Doodley :)
I'm not always a fan of full-blown Elizabethan English for a number of reasons, but it just felt right here. Elegant words. Truly graceful. The whole poem is comforting yet full of longing. The full-circle ending and the ending question are haunting and deep.

I think you've shown a lot of growth since I first saw you on this site. You've always had a flair for the classics, but now you really feel like someone straight out of Shakespeare's era. You've certainly outgrown my limited poetic understanding. When I see your words, I feel a great deal, but I know I see the poem for only some of its value. Congratulations, my friend. May this next year bring you good fortune and continued improvement.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

11 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Clifford. Thank you for all of your support throughout the year.. read more
In line one of stanza three, you should use "ye" instead of "thee". In line one of the 4th stanza you should use "thee" instead of "thou". I know this messes with your rhyme scheme, but I assume you want to use the antique pronouns correctly to get that Romantic feel you are after. Similarly, in the final stanza, you want "ye" instead of "thee".

The poem paints a nice image of wistful longing. The systolic/diastolic pairing is a cool device to move the poem to its conclusion. It also adds the feel of heartbeat to the wistful gaze of your character.

Posted 11 Months Ago


Doodley

11 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Ethan. Points noted. Editing errors. Best wishes for the festiv.. read more
Ethan

11 Months Ago

Stanza two in line three has a thee when you need ye as well. Thanks for the holiday wishes!
It feels like reading classic literature...
This is really awesome. The feelings and strong longing come out very well. The way you split apart the systolic and diastolic, one here the other half there showed exactly how true lover feels .The other half is always with one's lover. Enchanting poetry, Doodley !
All your writes carry that literary merit.. This one is one notch above taking the readers on the journey with it..
Thank you very much for sharing this master piece.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

11 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Bala. Extremely kind words for this piece. Best wishes to you f.. read more
yes, it does have that old time feel to it...a little Keats, but also a little Poe "helen thy beauty is to me..."

quite a well done piece....

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

11 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Jacob. I appreciate your reviews and support of my writing all .. read more
Doodley
Searching the endless seas; is love found or lost. The world is lonely without one share this life. "To settle in the chambers of the place it calls home." The whole lovely complex poem hinges on this central theme. I totally identify with this writing of yours. So nice. Blessings to you. Kathy

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

11 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Kathy. Very kind words. Best wishes to you for the festive seas.. read more
Love the personal romanticism, I really like the old way this sounds when read aloud. Some very nice lines, the last grouping was moving. Valentine

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

11 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing. Best wishes for the festive season.
Valentine

11 Months Ago

Wishing you all of God's best in the coming year. Hope your Christmas was wonderful. Kathie

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2343 Views
37 Reviews
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Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on December 22, 2016
Last Updated on November 2, 2017
Tags: Poem, love, longing, hope, rejection, sorrow

Author

Doodley
Doodley

Sydney , Australia



About
I'm an Equine Scientist undergoing an artistic Renaissance. I welcome all friend requests and am willing to read and review on a consistent basis as long as the friendship serves both our purposes... more..

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