Iridescence Bloomed

Iridescence Bloomed

A Poem by Doodley
"

For she who returns.

"
Oh, sweet night maiden whither art thou?
This wretched heart so longs for thee,
Thy tender caress upon mine brow,
To quench this flow of feverish sea.

This darkness sliced by pallid strain,
From whence hallucination cometh and goes,
To magnify this palsied pain,
And dull the light that long since glows.

From what viral intrusion doth I quake?
Who rapes mine eyes of crystal tear,
And burns in mine depths no liquid can slake,
And breeds this aluminium gust of fear?

Oh, Azrael! Is it thee I hear?
Dost thee reap ever gently against mine door?
Cometh to steal the last of breath I bear,
And snatch mine soul forevermore?

Hence! Begone! Thee cursed foul!
I shalt not transcend to eternal wight!
But to stayeth steadfast as the nocturnal owl,
And chooseth mine hour of passing flight!

As weakness envelopes mine waning rage,
And desire bows down at shadow's knees,
I reacheth mine penultimate lifetime page,
And enshroud myself in worthless pleas.

Is it sweet Death that this way comes?
Through blurring eyes I cannot see!
Till with sensual halcyon she sings and hums,
Sweet maiden, Love, hath returned to me!

She frowns upon mine withered frame,
And draweth me to her homely breast,
Cocooned I lay all still and tame,
In sense of waking, dying rest.

With burgundy lips like Summer's wine,
And eyes translucent drops of dew,
She pressed her mouth gently to mine,
And kissed mine soul with life anew!

Oh, Vitality! Whither hast though been?
Surge thyself all through mine veins!
To cast aside this jaundiced sheen,
And breaketh me free of sickly chains!

Sweet maiden, Love, gaveth final smile,
And vanished thus as Spring kissed snow,
Her fleeting stayeth for just this while,
Hadst restored the essence of mine flow.

Now, reborn to vigour by potent love,
Whither once hath lived shadow and all was't doomed,
I gaze upon the celestial canvas above,
As all around me iridescence bloomed.






© 2017 Doodley



Author's Note

Doodley
An Elizabethan archaic poem.

Any comments greatly appreciated.

My Review

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Featured Review

By the gods and goddesses. My friend. I have no words. Would that you had written these words to this old crone and she should have pooled at your feet and melted happily into the nether, touched by the pen of true love! Damn, but you are talented!!!!!

To choose a stanza as a favorite makes for a bitter choice, but the eloquence and sheer strength of these words make the breath rush out of me every single time I read them:
"As weakness envelopes mine waning rage,
And desire bows down at shadow's knees,
I reacheth mine penultimate lifetime page,
And enshroud myself in worthless pleas."

And desire bows down at shadow's knees..... yes, this I love the best.

An amazing project and a true testament of your talent and beautiful mind.

Posted 8 Months Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

8 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Poetic License. I am humbled by your very generous appraisal an.. read more
This comment has been deleted by this poetry author.



Reviews

Simply beautiful. Heart-warming, gratifying and poesy at its iridescent best. I feel so purified and warm by simply reading this beautiful poem. Strikes a personal chord (somehow?), and it is hard not to feel strongly for a poem that indeed is perfection.

Beautiful sublimation of theme. Beautiful rendering of words. This is lyrical and mellifluous.

Thank you for writing this, JM. Indeed warms your muse' heart.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Mallika. As always, extremely kind thoughts and words on my poe.. read more
Mallika Relives

9 Months Ago

You are welcome.
A gorgeous poem with many facets and emotions to cherish and behold. You are reaching far and wide in your artistic talents...I shall be back to enjoy more...:).................

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Sami. I am grateful for your comments on this poem. Always a pl.. read more
Sami Khalil

9 Months Ago

You are welcome. ...::::)))
I very much like the imagery in certain parts of this poem. Very good flow, as many others have said. That final stanza is gold, with the before/after comparison. This poem shows the potency of love.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Clifford. I appreciate your time and thoughts on this piece, es.. read more
Wow, damned impressive!

Beautifully written in a great form now long outmoded.

Almost seems like a classical Love poem from the 16th century. Simple words cannot express how amazing I find this poem.

I love it and hate it because now I feel inadequate within my purview of work, lol.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Lovecraft. I am humbled by your thoughts on this piece. Extreme.. read more
Lovecraft

9 Months Ago

Well, it's just that good, lol. :)
This poem feels very, very professional. The tone and wording are spot on, and the archaic-ness fits very well. It has a great flow and is very beautiful.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Hannah. A wonderful review with extremely kind words.
This is really good Doodley.
I love the way you weaved the tale and kept true to form the whole way through. I could have been reading a soliloquy by the Bard himself here.

If I had one minor concern it would be the use of aluminium which wasn't discovered until 1820's - perhaps a earlier element just to add to the authenticity?
http://www.chemistryexplained.com/elements/General-Information/Timeline-The-Discovery-Of-Elements.html

But this is deserving of my highest marks. Well done!
:)


Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Tony. As a scientist with plenty of Chemistry study behind me, .. read more
Tony Jordan

9 Months Ago

Just a suggestion.
I love the flow in this piece :) I enjoyed reading it

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Gullia. I appreciate the line.
Giullia King

9 Months Ago

You're welcome :)
Cometh to steal the last of breath I bear,
And snatch mine soul forevermore?

Enjoyed this greatly! You words flowed perfectly. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, OhSnapShley. I appreciate your time and kind words.
Iridescence bloomed- Great title. This is indeed an archaic form. You have beautifully elaborated different elements and facets of life and living. Love wins all the way around by defeating pain, despair, illness, death and even life. This is a wonderfully written romantic piece which leaves the reader with varied emotions.
From the beginning to the end you have maintained the quality of writing and content of this piece, Sunbae. I loved the structure, imagery, style, language and rhyming of this piece. Excellent writing.
Everything is perfect and balanced.
As always a great work, Doodley :-) :-)
Take a bow :-)


Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Manasvini. I appreciate your time and extensive review on this .. read more
This comment has been deleted by this poetry author.

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2608 Views
40 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 7 Libraries
Added on March 2, 2017
Last Updated on November 11, 2017
Tags: Poem, death, life, saviour, illness, pain, love, archaic.

Author

Doodley
Doodley

Sydney , Australia



About
I'm an Equine Scientist undergoing an artistic Renaissance. I welcome all friend requests and am willing to read and review on a consistent basis as long as the friendship serves both our purposes... more..

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