Gethsemane

Gethsemane

A Poem by Doodley
"

Under the olives.

"
He kneels there solus,
Unbowed in anguish as the
Night whispers Betray.

© 2018 Doodley



Author's Note

Doodley
Experimenting with something different to get the creative juices flowing.

Any comments are appreciated.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Wow, "He kneels their souls unbowed in anguish as the night whispers betray"

Signifies that a demon impersonates an Angel with a sword and when the victims lower their guard, it cuts their heads, then they become whisperers for infinity because before reaching Heaven, they gave up as they kneeled, they looked down and they gave their heads to the demon disguised as an Angel.


Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

7 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Squinkla. A very interesting interpretation of this senryu. I a.. read more
Doodley

7 Months Ago

And also....welcome to my poetic domain!



Reviews

Nice use of words. You made the reader want more. In the silence of the night. The mind can be overworked. Thank you my friend for sharing your amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Coyote. I appreciate the time and words for this short senryu.
Coyote Poetry

9 Months Ago

Was my pleasure my friend and you are welcome.
dear Doodley... kindness and generosity are a gift that is at times abused, however, more often than not it breathes love and trust in the person bestowed. I am not surprised when I am betrayed, but I am overjoyed when I realize I have helped a person to believe and move on with joy in their heart. Your Senyru is descriptive of betrayal, but even Jesus continued to forgive. truly, Pat p.s. Our life has sad moments.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Pat. I agree with you. Life is full of melancholic moments and .. read more
Patricia Wedel

9 Months Ago

You are welcome. Irma has done so much damage to the islands in the Caribbean and is headed to Flor.. read more
The the garden where His sweat became... Unfathomable meaning lies between these words and they evoke both emotion and imagination. Doodley, you always leave me in awe. You are so incredibly talented. :) Thanks for sharing.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Andronicus. I appreciate your committed praise for this simple .. read more
Extremely powerful. Such impact made even weightier by the simplicity and brevity. Huge fan of your experiment!

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Poetic License. I appreciate your kind words for this very simp.. read more
I feel like there's a Nightwish reference in here somewhere....anyway, awesome job with this. It's always good to experiment. This piece is very short, but it delivers smoothly and strongly. I like the little bit of personification and imagery in the last line. :)

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Dan. Yes, very short. I use these short pieces from time to tim.. read more
This is a great starting point. Trying something different always helps me to get flowing! Good job

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, DDee. I agree with your sentiments wholeheartedly. Simplicity p.. read more
Amazing and powerful. Very precise and perfect with no guise. For being betrayed in life by friends, strangers, co-workers and even partners is very devastating, but the reaction to all of that shows fortitude and character of the betrayed. Do we fly off the handle or just deal with it wisely and justly. Do we use violence and abuse, as some people do, or just let the law take its course and so forth. An excellent brevity...:)..........

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Sami. Wonderful insights that I couldn't put better myself. Wit.. read more
Sami Khalil

9 Months Ago

You are very welcome. ....:::))))
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Zoe
So powerful. All the happenings of the time became quite picturesque and turned lifelike while I read this. Love the mention of olives in the description.
As always...amazing work!

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Zoe

9 Months Ago

No worries
Doodley

9 Months Ago

Haha. Spoken like a true Australian!
Zoe

9 Months Ago

Really? Lolol xD
Very markedly different from your usual writing, both in length and in structure. This very short piece is able to completely set the tone, and I had a vivid mental image while reading. Shrouded in darkness, alone save for his thoughts and emotions in the wake of some turmoil. Very poignant.

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Clifford. Very markedly different as you rightly noted! Just an.. read more
it's ideal, confusion after
in every 3 lines, OH! give me another magic
than a number in every turn it's nature
so don't resist, don't make it die off it's beyond heart's core
and so, add some more darkness
i did enjoy the silence in this short poem

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

9 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Robert. Not really a fan of numbered poetry myself, but i thoug.. read more
This comment has been deleted by the poster.

4
next Next Page
last Last Page
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

2227 Views
41 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on September 5, 2017
Last Updated on March 20, 2018
Tags: Betrayal., Agony, Poem

Author

Doodley
Doodley

Sydney , Australia



About
I'm an Equine Scientist undergoing an artistic Renaissance. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Broken Mirror Broken Mirror

A Story by pia