Gethsemane

Gethsemane

A Poem by Doodley
"

Under the olives.

"
He kneels there solus,
Unbowed in anguish as the
Night whispers Betray.

© 2017 Doodley



Author's Note

Doodley
Experimenting with something different to get the creative juices flowing.

Any comments are appreciated.

My Review

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Featured Review

Wow, "He kneels their souls unbowed in anguish as the night whispers betray"

Signifies that a demon impersonates an Angel with a sword and when the victims lower their guard, it cuts their heads, then they become whisperers for infinity because before reaching Heaven, they gave up as they kneeled, they looked down and they gave their heads to the demon disguised as an Angel.


Posted 6 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

6 Days Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Squinkla. A very interesting interpretation of this senryu. I a.. read more
Doodley

6 Days Ago

And also....welcome to my poetic domain!



Reviews

Very markedly different from your usual writing, both in length and in structure. This very short piece is able to completely set the tone, and I had a vivid mental image while reading. Shrouded in darkness, alone save for his thoughts and emotions in the wake of some turmoil. Very poignant.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Clifford. Very markedly different as you rightly noted! Just an.. read more
it's ideal, confusion after
in every 3 lines, OH! give me another magic
than a number in every turn it's nature
so don't resist, don't make it die off it's beyond heart's core
and so, add some more darkness
i did enjoy the silence in this short poem

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Robert. Not really a fan of numbered poetry myself, but i thoug.. read more
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Wow. I love the feel and vibe from this short yet beautifully written poem about a man who deal with something tragic like betrayel (from a friend, lover or most probably himself)
He goes into a position where one can feel his hopes leave him as he is all alone in this moment of sadness. There is no one with him. Night here to me signifies darkness. The betrayel he's facing has brought so much darkness in his life he has nothing left to feel
Beautifully written. Short and effective

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Doodley

2 Months Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Pia. I appreciate your extensive insights on this very simple p.. read more

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1653 Views
33 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on September 5, 2017
Last Updated on September 5, 2017
Tags: Betrayal., Agony, Poem

Author

Doodley
Doodley

Sydney , Australia



About
I'm an Equine Scientist undergoing an artistic Renaissance. I welcome all friend requests and am willing to read and review on a consistent basis as long as the friendship serves both our purposes... more..

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