Shadow of Death, Phantom of Love

short poem, simply describes a struggle that I go through on a daily basis

My heart aches in the cold, cold shadow of death.

I am on the verge of falling into the bottomless

pit of death, yet there is one thing that 

holds me up and keeps me fighting. It is the

phantom of of a great Love, love so strong

that I would sacrifice everything for it.

My life long ago ceased having meaning

The pit of shadow and despair threatens,

it has become an ally of Death's Shadow

and it looms ever closer behind me, forever

advancing, growing wider. To end it all, it 

is a noble thought, one that I would welcome...

if not for my love. 

I have so many that care, and yet I am all but 

alone in the world. None can aid in this 

struggle, it is one that I fight alone.

One can provide me the strength, but does

she know it, no... how could she? How could

she know just how much she means to me?

She holds me together, she knows everything

about me... past, present, future. I am beginning

to fall, fall into the pit into which Death's Shadow 

is trying to lure me, that pit from which she helped

me escape. 

My heart and soul have died, my entire being

is now a beast. A beast born of many things...

Love, Pain, Fear, Sorrow, Death... just to name

a few. I hold a mask to guard my darkest secrets,

but she can see through it, if she only looks

with her knowledge of what I am.

Human... no, not human, but rather half demon,

half dragon. A beast born of a powerful force,

a force more powerful than anything this world

can ever hope to muster. A beast that can control

the very being of its essence. That is what I have

become... and yet, I am also merely a shadow.

I am the shadow of death, the very same

shadow that tries to entrap me. A creature

born to live in the pit that threatens to engulf

me once more. A creature that fought its way

out and now eternally struggles to retain its

freedom, but the pits pull is strong... almost

too strong, and soon, I fear I will be pulled in.

Deaths shadow stalks me, just as I stalk it, both in

form and reality. Darkness is my protection, and 

my destiny is not to have a place in Heaven, nor

Hell, but rather to be the immortal incarnation of 

the most powerful force in the universe. The 

force that Death carries, the force to control who

dies. How they die, and when they die, that is the 

force I am cursed to bear forevermore.

However, until the day that I must take up that 

burden, I shall continue to fight it, fight it with the

strength I take from my love. My vast love for the one

person that I would give everything for, including my

own life and what remains of my soul... 

I wish that she saw how much it pains me to see the things

that go on, to hear her tales, or to see her tears.

Though... I vowed I would always be there for her, and I

am not one to break a vow, so indeed... I shall uphold it.

No matter the pain it causes me, even if it kills me, I shall

always be there for her when she needs a shoulder, a hug,

a kind word, or whatever else she may need, whenever she 

needs it...

The shadow of death soon comes to claim me, the lost

part of itself... and I may soon give in and rejoin it, so that

I may be rid of this pain, this sorrow, this... husk that I

have adopted. I just hope that when I go it brings none 

of what I feel and fight a war against to her, for I wish her

to have nothing but a good life, full of love, happiness, and 

good memories. Something that I myself, no longer have, they

all faded when my heart and soul died, everything but Love... 

Author's Note

This poem was inspired by simple thoughts of someone very dear to me, the person that I love more sincerely than you could imagine, the person that stays my hand every time my mind turns to suicide, no matter how difficult it is to stand back up and push on. The person that I would give everything, even my own life, to protect.

Reviews

[KillxThexCowboy]

Every time I read your poetry, 2 things happen... I become increasingly jealous of your writing talent, and the way you portray your emotions. 2, I become inspired to write poetry of my own (which hardly happens these days). So...good job with this one. Most of the time the people that we lean on so much for life, rarely see that we do.