Moonstruck

A poem I enjoyed writing. It actually broke the wall of not having wrote anything for a long time.

I could paper all these walls with Lotto tickets,

The amount that I ride my luck,

I could encompass light and shadows with it,

Before the chord’s been struck.

Before I hit the violent revelation,

The truth and devastation,

I’m acting like I couldn’t give a solitary f**k.

Turning up without a reservation,

A man infused with automation,

When the truth is I’m just moonstruck.

Baby, It’s a lost art,

Chasing after shooting stars,

D’ya think if we’d never crossed paths,

It maybe would have saved your heart?

I should dig a million graves for all the minutes,

The amount of time I kill,

I kick the line in the sand, blur the limits,

Restrict my own free will.

The deus ex machina,

When I run out of stamina,

Ideas always run low, well before the ink,

At the independent cinema,

The top show, I’m the pinnacle,

Low budget, poor action but enough to make you think.

Baby, It’s a lost art,

Chasing after shooting stars,

D’ya think if we'd never crossed paths,

It maybe could have saved your heart?

Sweetheart, it is no sin,

To be going through the motions,

Do you think that we lose a day or ten,

We can't make it right, by the end?

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a damn impressive poem for being the one that broke the drought for you! I love your sophisticated rhymes (not just taking the easy rhyme) . . . most of all, I like that you tell a meaningful story as well as groovin' on a rhyming riff. Some rhyming riffers don't make sense to me. I like that you put the message first, having something substantial to say, and doing that in creative ways (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful use of words.
"Baby, It’s a lost art,
Chasing after shooting stars,
D’ya think if we’d never crossed paths,
It maybe would have saved your heart?"
I liked the above statement and so many stood out in the poetry. Thank you for the wonderful read.
Coyote

[H L Rose]

I'm a fan. It's very musical. Could probably be put to music, no?

The first line I think is my favorite, but the chorus stanza(if you don't mind me calling it), with the “it's a lost art” line, I also really like.

The whole poem seems packed with substance. Each line is significant. I'm a fan of metaphors so I like the “I should dig a million graves” stanza. The last stanza made me think and I'm super intrigued by it.

Seeing that your Scottish I want to read the whole thing totally different with that in mind, but my accent sucks.

[DreamCatcher08]

Thanks for your review, it made me smile. Perhaps I should don my thickest Scottish accent and perform this on audio?

[H L Rose]

Lol yea that’d really make it 😆