What is Love?A Story by Melody
Just a story about love that i found.... credit given to "DearAbby"
I have an issue when it comes to love. I have never loved one boy with my entire heart. Could that be because I love everyone with my entire heart? I love them all for different reasons. I love their hearts and their potential. But my love for them is the same as my love for any other person (which is a lot) but it just isn't that overwhelmingly special feeling that is expected. What if I can't loveone above the rest? What if I can love everyone a lot instead of loving most people a little and a few people a lot?
Is love aliveI used to try and hide these thoughts I openly express here and I silenced my questions because they were too girly and did not appear cool enough for a guy. I was afraid my mind wouldn't be accepted and in turn feared or found annoying. Yeah I am a girl so I tend to question love and life every second of every day. For nearly 19 years I have been reading people, watching people, and listening to figure out what exactly makes everyone function the way they do. For the most part I can tell when someone likes me and when they don't. I can tell when people will work together and when they wont. When it comes to myself I can tell when something wont work, but unfortunately I never listen to myself because my heart triumphs "logic"
About a month ago I was in the dinning hall and I said that I can't ever see myself falling in love. Some guy from another table chimed in and scolded me for saying such an ignorant claim. He left me no room to explain. It is hard to picture yourself in love in the future if you have never experienced that feeling. I can't picture the pain of starving people because I have never been starving. It is the same idea. A part of me is frustrated never having that feeling, another part of me wonders if I have experienced the feeling I just didn't know. A true romantic would only hope that the absence of intense love allows for a clear spotting of it in the future because of its prominence. As always I have no answers, only bafflement and wonder.
I couldn't draw a picture of a perfect boy or make a checklist of everything I want. That would eliminate everyone. But I do know that If a boy doesn't love me for being a crazy, fearful, awkward, good girl who thinks way too much...
If he cant make me comfortable enough to feel normal, confident, or cool... then there is no point in trying to force a connection to help loneliness or self esteem.
I am not the kind of girl who is satisfied with a shower of compliments or gifts. Those are nice but not enough to make me be with someone. I will stay when I can see my love move them. I leave when my love/thoughts/words/cares have no effect. I have a feeling when I fall in love it will be with someone who makes me a better person, challenges me, and teaches me continuously. I can only hope I effect them the same way. I have a lot of expectations but I also understand that my opinion of love is constantly changing so who knows! One day I will look back and laugh at how wrong or right I was.
© 2012 Melody
Added on May 12, 2012
Last Updated on May 12, 2012
AboutI like to write, simple as that. I don't have to write how you tell me, I can write like i want because your not the author, i am. And i'm ready to express myself the way i want to, not the ways other.. more..