Away

Written in 8th grade. Maybe 7th? I'm not entirely sure.

The cool spring air

of everything I miss;

the purity, the innocence,

the sweet, sweet sound bliss.

When will I live again?

Wanna be naïve again,

just like back when

I could look into your eyes

and not think about the time

I let it all just

pass me by.

Feel the rain coming in,

with the shallow mellowness.

Never give up,

never back down,

and do the same things again,

like a circle of nothingness.

And I don’t believe I’ve lived

since those days;

feeling the soft spring air,

surrounded by people who care,

not afraid to let them in.

Well that’s all changed now,

and looking back makes it worse,

but I can’t look away

with these things I wish away.

Reviews

[Busola Laditan]

This is good. It has a light feel to goes well with the sadness. It also goes well with the Interpol i'm listening to. Good stuff though keep writing, being 13 and able to express yourself this well means you could probably teach us all something.

[Bam]

i really love this..can totally relate...

[Linda Crawford Ortiz]

You have written a very poignant peace about loss of innocence--purity--naivet�'. Your form is inviting and you have set a good pace for the reader. I, like Annelise, find it hard to believe that you are only 13 years old. There is a very real sense of loss of something or someone of paramount importance to the speaker--a sense of self, perhaps? Very well done.

[Annelise]

Your very talented for a 13 yr. old. You have some unnecissary words in there and it would flow better with an edit. P.M. me if you would like an edited version. :)

[Stephen Schmidt]

Really nice write!