A Chapter by E.A. Simon

Sun shone onto every window on the left side, making the glass hot to touch. It burned Rich's cheek.

'F**k,' He thought, 'just as I was seamlessly slipping into sleep', a rarity recently.

His jumper was thick so he leaned his head onto one arm and tried to relax; searching the pit that was his mind until he found emptiness (that so often wasn't there).

'Richard?' Kelly peered at him, 'Are you sleeping? Sorry. It's so early.'

Kelly was made to be looked at. As Rich slowly opened his eyes he saw her face between the gap in front of him, her golden hair sprawled over the carpeted seats. She was smiling infectiously, her teeth shining with fresh dew.

'Im just chilling,' Rich said cooly, smiling back.

The coach stopped at the side of the road an hour in. There were dark, green hedges on both sides with the branches of trees peering over the top of them. Out of Rich's window he saw iron gates leading into a graveyard and the tops of stone graves among the trees, like a skyline.

The driver, who was a lanky man, got up and opened the automatic door. He got out.

'That b*****d is lighting a cigarette!' Dom bellowed.

'How do you say 'bullshit' in French?!'

Dom got up out of his seat to glare out the window, urging Alex to do the same.

'What an absolute legend.' Rich laughed, glancing over.

'Oi!' Alex banged on the glass loudly. He then immediately regretted it, ducking out of sight. Dom kicked him.

The driver didn't budge despite the loud bang. He was propped up against the coach with his head cocked up towards the autumn sun, his puffs of cigarette smoke disintegrating into the warm air.

It was no more than a minute of puffing, when a cold breeze blew through the coach, prompting the driver to stub out the cigarette and turn to get back on. He turned back however, forgetting something and walked towards a grey tree, a short distance away. He then pulled from his trousers his large penis which rolled out in front of him. A great arc of golden urine shot from it soaking the tree bark.

'What the f**k?'
Dom awkwardly laughed as the others shuffled behind him to get a better look. All were intoxicatingly fascinated.

In front of them, the fluid turned from bright gold to a dull brown to a rich, blood red and it kept running, like a stream being manually pumped by an unknown force. Streaming and streaming red like a cut vein, sharply and sparsely splattering, staining the tree.

Rich couldn't believe his eyes.

After what seemed like an excruciatingly long, steady flow of blood urine, it began to slow down, colour returning to it.

Like turning off a tap, the liquid steadily dripped and ceased.

Rich was still fixated.

'Stop staring at it, pervert!' Sweat was moist on Dom's forehead as he clenched his fist and lifted it, ready to launch it at Rich.

'Dom don't!' Without hesitation Kelly spread her feet and squared up to him, gently pushing Rich back.

'Lets all just forget about it.'

Dom, breathing heavily, flashed a look at Rich before disappearing.

Kelly, with her kind smile, turned and examined Rich's face before slowly lowering herself to her seat.

Rich looked at no one. He sunk back into his place and closed his eyes. There was a throbbing in his head. It succumbed; Sleep grabbed him by the neck.

The automatic doors closed and without warning they were moving again as if they'd never had interruption, now speedily along open road.

Rich's sleep was deep. He dreamt in feverish red.

He, himself was drenched in blood; it was thick and sticky, like jam covering every part of his body, all except his eyes. In his direct line of vision was the coach driver. Surrounding them both was night.

The driver had the same arched back and the same proud liquid rapidly racing from him onto the tree. The tree morphed; it sunk and compacted into a slap of stone. A grave; The writing on it hidden behind its vandal. The driver began to stir as if sensing Rich's presence behind him. He slowly turned, still streaming red.

He was in full profile. His face was wrinkled and in rolls, rolls and rolls of overlapping, gloopy skin. In place of eyes where two flesh pink spaces; the skin was so tight here you could see blue veins resting on the skin from the other side. The ugly man then began to smile, his lips tightening as the grin filled the entire bottom of his face. It revealed a black void.

Rich glanced down at the heavy flow that was now painfully loud, the trickling noise echoing through his soul.

The eyeless man then lifted up his penis and aimed it at Rich. Though it seemed impossible, the great, black smile got bigger as the current, now at Rich's feet, began creeping its way up his body.

Rich was paralysed. The thick blood that covered his body did not shield him; he felt the heat from the urine work upwards on him like an elevator. He could smell copper and rot thick in the air until all his senses became accustom to it.

In a blink of an eye it was daylight again and in front of him was the grey tree. Only the tree.

Rich blinked again. His eyes suddenly stung, fighting off a hot fluid that began to splatter onto them. They too were being splurged with the warm, red. The stinging would not stop and all Rich could do to articulate the pain was cry out, like a whimpering child, spilling out his pain and fear. As Rich cried, he heard a cackle that ringed loud in his ears. A spiky, hoarse cackle. Then, all around, miniature fireworks, that sprouted from thin air. The sky turned pale and the pain died down.

'Mesdames et Messieurs', The driver announced, 'nous sommes maintenant officiellement entrés en Belgique.'

There was an anticipated commotion from everyone. Cheers and embraces sent the coach see sawing. Rich's sleeping body tossed from side to side, waking him violently.

'Oh poor Richard', Kelly was peering at him again.

As Rich's eyes focused, Kelly's perfect face was like a half dream.

'You just can't get sleep.'

Kelly got up and went around to Rich's side. He quickly adjusted himself. She knelt beside him. She placed her hand onto his forehead. It was like touching fire.

'You've got a fever you know. Are you drinking water?'

Rich signalled to his empty water bottle that had been thrown to the ground in the ruckus.

'Here, have some of mine. It's cool'.

Rich sat up. Kelly, sat down beside him. She coaxingly unscrewed the top of her bottle and looked up at Rich, glistening.

'Let me feed it to you!' She laughed.

Rich laughed back, feeling quite unbelievable.

Kelly, seemingly very focused, gently cupped the back of Rich's head like a precious baby and put the spout of the water bottle into his mouth, squeezing softly.

After a few gulps, Kelly began laughing again. Rich laughed too, spitting the water out in front of him. The pair gripped to each other and started giggling uncontrollably.

Kelly stopped suddenly to look at Rich's happy face and grin. She pulled his head towards hers and kissed him. What with her soft lips and beautiful smile, Rich basked in the kiss, even if he were still asleep.

'We're going to have a wonderful weekend Richard,' Kelly said sincerely.

She had left a taste in his mouth.

Kelly got up, leaving her water bottle in Rich's lap. Maybe it was the cool water but Rich could feel tingles in his groin. Sparks from Kelly's kiss formed in the air. She sat back down in front of him, that golden hair of hers swishing with every slight movement. Warmth filled Rich's body. He stared out of his window at the beautiful new world around him.

The sky was awash with orange and blue. The coach had travelled from Paris and was on route to Namur, a town in Belgium. The seven of them were staying at Lumiere Nordique, a remote, cliff-side house.

Surely, roads got thinner and bumpier and the gardens greener and from the gardens sprouted green cliffs that spread for miles and formed mountainous steps to the sky. Rivers melted into Rivers. Namur, with its stone turrets and stone bridges, was startlingly picturesque and so different to home.

'This place is f*****g beautiful.' Kelly said looking up at the castle in the cliffs and smiling, almost with tears.

'Its perfect.'

Rich agreed.

© 2017 E.A. Simon

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Author's Note

E.A. Simon
Hi thanks for taking a look! Please let me know if the story is easy to follow and my if main protagonist is likeable! Also would love feedback on how to transform this from a young mans musings to a professional novel. Any help, feedback, comments greatly appreciated.

My Review

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Hi, there. So immediately upon reading I noticed there was a realistic error. So, at one point, the story reads, "her smile was infectious and her teeth shone with morning dew." Teeth can't shine from morning dew, though. Unless she has dentures that she removed, or unless she grimaced all night like a horse (lips pulled back over teeth) it would be a physical impossibility to have dew in her teeth. I would consider changing that. There were also a few errors later on, such as where you say, "Kelly stopped suddenly to look at Rich's happy face and grin." But by saying "happy face" you're already implying he's grinning, as (aside from twinkling eyes) there's really nothing that constitutes a happy face besides a smile. And because of your prior sentences the conclusion can be drawn he's smiling when you say he has a happy face. So you can get rid of the word grin. There's also a part where you say Rich is feeling "unbelievable", but that's vague. What does that mean? A better word can be chosen here to give the reader a sense of Rich and how he's feeling. I'm not saying this to nitpick, I'm saying all of this to lead to my main piece of advice: watch your wordage and make sure you're making sense. The story is great, all in all you're a wonderful writer. The character's stay consistent and are believable- they have flaws and strengths, all signs of good characters. The suspense you create is perfect for this genre. You have good horror descriptions- your one weakness is that you do make some writing mistakes.
One scene I really like is the nightmare scene. It was very well described- one of my first immediate thoughts was, "God, I hope if they make a movie out of this they skip this part." It was both terrifying and (with the pissing Rich part) disturbing. A good mix. However, we also have another writing mistake here where you say the skin is "rolling" off of the man, suggesting excess, but then in another part you say the skin is tight. You can't have skin be loose and be tight.
But yeah, overall, good story! You definitely did well at getting reader's invested and striking their curiosity, something that is extremely hard to do in the first chapter ^.^

Posted 2 Weeks Ago

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Added on October 30, 2017
Last Updated on October 31, 2017
Tags: americanhorrorstory, cabininthewoods, twilight, teen, horror, supernatural, lifeanddeath, timetravel


E.A. Simon
E.A. Simon

Toronto, Spiritualist , Canada

Hi! I'm an Englishman living in Canada, I'm 22 years old and I've got a passion for writing and art. Outside of that I'm a professional dancer. Trademark_Artist on Instagram and EA Simon on Wattpad more..

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A Chapter by E.A. Simon

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A Chapter by E.A. Simon

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A Chapter by E.A. Simon