Her Eyes

Her Eyes

A Poem by E.L.C.

Two black pits--Pin pricks lodged within withered emeralds

Strung upon vermilion threads--Spiralling tendrils diffusing through sclera pools

Drowning beneath influxes--Lachrymal tides escaping epidermal sills

© 2015 E.L.C.


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It has amazing imagery which is hard to do.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That was one of the most unique details on the eyes like that. I don't believe I've ever heard of the descriptions similar to your. I had to read it twice to make sure I didn't miss out. All I can say is that it's pretty profoundly entertaining.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

E.L.C.

4 Years Ago

What can I say...
Very visceral. Almost feels like an anatomical dissection.
Love the unique imagery and phrasing

"Spiraling tendrils diffusing through sclera pools"

Writing about "eyes" can run the risk of becoming trite, but you did an excellent job of avoiding the usual cliches and presenting a fresh "eye" (hehe, couldn't help myself).

Excellent.



Posted 4 Years Ago


E.L.C.

4 Years Ago

Thank you! I am glad you found it interesting to read. I was contemplating ending it with, "Lachryma.. read more
I feel like an insect that stumbled into a spiders nest, for your words spin webs, and even though I'm not bright enough to free my mind I'm enjoying the struggle.. Beautiful piece!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

E.L.C.

4 Years Ago

Thank you!
Lovely word choices here. I like the pace, too. The mid-line breaks are a nice touch, to keep the thought progressing while noting a shift. I gave a 90 only because you say it's a work-in-progress, so I expect to see more later. :) Keep going!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

E.L.C.

4 Years Ago

Thank you Rana, I liked the mid-line breaks too. I tried writing it without them and it seemed awkwa.. read more

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5 Reviews
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Added on March 6, 2015
Last Updated on March 22, 2015

Author

E.L.C.
E.L.C.

Somewhere Beneath all the Snow, Canada



About
I have a Bachelor of Arts with a Minor in English, and have worked as an academic tutor in English since 2009. I have had some flash fiction and poetry published over the years, while also dabbling in.. more..

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