All Too Common Addictions

Just what are we not addictied to ?

“Hey, Sam !  Good to See ya’ Pardner.  Come on over here and join me for Breakfast.”

“Sam let the tinkling bell of the front door of the Fluffy Top Café slowly close behind him.  “Don’t mind if I do, Pete.  How’re, you, Betty Jean and the kids doin’ these days ?’  Sam asked as he slid into the large, high-backed, cushy bench just across the table from Pete.

“Fine, fine.  How about Peggy Sue and your brood ?”

“Good, good.”  Pete paused, and taking a deliberate sip out of his coffee cup said, “Well, that that’s not exactly true.  You know, my oldest, Pete Junior.  Well, he’s in Rehab.  None of us, not even his sweet wife, Bonnie Lynn could get him to stop drinkin’.  It got to where he was drunk all of the time.  Gettin’ one DWI after another.  Shirkin’ school and church gatherin’s with Bonnie and my two grandbabies.  Then he started missin’ work and got fired.  And that was the last straw for Bonnie Lynn.  She told Pete Junior to get help, and stop drinkin’ or she was leavin’ his worthless hide, and takin’ the kids with her.”  

Pete paused and sighed, staring down into his cup of black coffee.  “So, he started goin’ back to Church and the minister got him hooked up with some high fallootin’ Rehab program somewhere in the Hill Country.”

“I’m sorry to hear all of that, Pete.  But I’ve heard that those Rehab programs can be pretty successful.  I’ve got a cousin down in Houston who had to go to one of those fancy, and very expensive, Rehab places somewhere out in east Texas.  He had become a Meth Hound.  He just could not stop chasin’ after the stuff.  But doin’ a little jail time and Rehab stopped him dead in his tracks.  He’s doin’ fine now.  About the only addiction he suffers from now is the Pot of Coffee, and the six-pack of Coke he drinks every day, ha !”

“Yeah, I know what ya’ mean, Sam.  I’ve heard tell that most of us are always tradin’ in one addiction for another.”

Suddenly, the jangling tune of “The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You” came to life in Sam’s pocket.  “Excuse me, Pete, I’ve gotta’ get this.  It‘s gotten to where this c**k-a-mamey cell phone and my Iphone run my life.  In fact, I don‘t know how I ever ran my life and kept up with things without these little mechanical devices.  I go crazy when I can‘t remember where I put ‘em down.”

“One day, I refused to leave the house for an important rodeo event that one of granddaughters was participatin’ in.  I told Betty Jean that it’d be like goin’ to the rodeo naked.  I finally located the dad-burned thing.  I’d left it on the back of the commode.  But I made us late to the rodeo, and we missed Katies’s ropin’ event.  Boy howdy, that baby wouldn’t talk to me for a solid month after that.”  Sam shrugged and put his cell phone to ear.

“Yeah, hon.  I’m eatin’ breakfast at ole Fluffy Top with, Pete.  Uh-huh.”  Sam looked over at Pete and said, “Betty Jean tells me to tell you hi, and that you and Peggy Sue, and the kids, need to come on over for dinner some time soon.  She says that you need to get Peggy Sue to call her, e-mail her, Tweet her or post to her on Facebook.  She also said for me to tell you to tell Peggy Sue that she just loves the pictures of the kids in their birthday party outfits, and that the Batman birthday cake was too purty to cut.”

Pete smiled, and nodded his head in affirmation.  “You tell Betty Jean I’ll have Peggy Sue get in touch with her as soon as possible, and for her, and the kids, to have a good day.”

“Did you hear that Betty Jean ?  Good, I didn’t want to have to try and repeat all of that back to ya’’ Sam grunted.  “What do you mean what am I eatin’ ?  I’m not startin’ that diet you want me on until tomorrow.  So, I’m starin’ into a plate full of four eggs, six pieces of bacon, two buttermilk biscuits with saw-mill milk gravy, a double helpin’ of  hash browns, a large glass of milk, and my first cup of coffee.”

“Betty Jean ?  Are you still there ?  Well, I’ll be dad-gummed, that woman hung up on me.  Of all of the….”

“Just let it be, Sam.  She’ll get over her huff.  Most women always do,”  Pete suggested.

“That’s the first time she’s ever hung up on me, Pete.  She’s really serious about my losin’ a few pounds.  The doctor put a scare into her by tellin’ the both of us that I needed to lose weight,’cause he was worried about my heart, and overall health.  Ever since then, Betty Jean has made it her mission in life to make me absolutely miserable.  I finally broke down this past week and told her that I’d go on her gol’danged Special Diet.  So, I’m eatin’ as many and as much of my favorite foods as I can until tomorrow.  After Fluffy Top, I’m hittin’ Willie’s Steak House.”

“Oo-la-la, Wilma May can sure grill a mighty fine T-bone steak,”  Pete interjected.

The cell phone in Sam’s pocket began to play, “The Eyes of Texas are Upon You”.  “Excuse me, Pete, sorry about the constant interruptions, but I gotta’ get this.”

“Do you ?”

“What did you say, Pete ?”

“I was sayin’ that I left my cell phone out in my pick-up, just in case I ran into anyone I knew, and wanted to spend some time with.”

“Oh, I could never do that.  I might miss a call or somethin’”, Sam grinned at his long time friend.  “Hello ?  Betty Jean ?  Honey, why’d you hang up on me earlier ?”

“No, no, that’s not how it’s gonna be.  I’m gonna take your Special Diet very seriously.  What ?  What do you mean that Hazel won’t get off of the computer.  You’re the mother.  You and I bought that computer.  You just remind her of who pays the bills around there, and she won’t give you any more lip about it.  I swear, that kid is on that computer or watchin’ television or talkin’ on her Iphone all day and night long.  Does she ever do anything else ?”

“Alright, Betty Jean, I’ll ask him.  Pete ?  Pete ?”  The only sounds in the ’ole Fluffy Top were the quiet conversations of other customers and the tinkle of the bell of the front door as it closed.  

“Now, where in tarnation did Pete run off to, and without so much as a fare-thee-well ?  That’s alright, I’ll text him……”