A Politician Stumbles Through the Ten Commandments

When confronted by the guidlines of the Ten Commandments, some of us trip, some stumble and bumble, and some run rampant !

“Alright, Young’un.  Let’s get somethin’ straight right up front.  The only reason I agreed to this Interview is that your Mama is my Big Sister, which makes you kin to little ‘ole me.  Your Mama tells me that you’re a Free Lance Writer, but this “ole boy doesn’t intend to let that Lance of yours be as Free as you might want it to be.  I will not be made a Fool of.”

“Now, that we have that mutual understandin’ under our belts, we can commence with your questions, little missy.”

“However, before we get started can you explain to me why you walked into my office with a King James Bible ?  I have my own Bible tucked away in my office drawer.”

“What do you mean, do I know what Exodus, Chapter Twenty holds ?  I’m not a mind reader.  So why don’t you just go ahead and tell me so that we can get on with this Interview you were wantin’.  My time is valuable and my patience is limited.”

“Of course, I’ve read the Ten Commandments.  Many times, in fact, in Church and elsewhere.  I am a deacon of the Church after all.  And be sure to include that in your article about me.  My constituents like hearin’ things like that about their Political Leaders.”

“What ?  You want me talk about how I do or do not live up to the Ten Commandments while doin’ my job in Congress for the American People ?  Well, I must say, I was not expectin’ this line of questionin’’ ”

“Do I put any other gods, but God, before me or worship any other kind of Idols as I would God ?  Listen, Young’un,  I am a fine upstandin’ Christian man.  The stalwart Pillar of my Community, State and Country.  What are you tryin’ to pull here ?”

“What do you mean that your Mama says that I’m preoccupied with Money.  What in the world does that have to do with God and Idol worship ?  And what is she doin’ talkin’ behind my back like that ?  She has always been a jealous, graspin’, know-it-all, Buh - ahem, excuse me, I mean Siblin‘.”

“Just because I enjoy makin’ and havin’ Money does not make me a Godless man or an Idolater.  It makes me a very Practical, Rich and Powerful Business Man, and CongressMan, I might add.”

“Sure, I may have to sell out my Principles from time-to-time to attain Money - to sniff it out and run it lovingly through my enthralled little Sticky Fingers, but that does not mean that Money is my God or that I Idolize it.  It‘s more like my Mistress….  Nope.  Scratch that out‘a‘ your notes would ya‘.  That was just a figure of speech that should never have escaped these lips.  My wife, and your Aunt, I might add, would have a regular hissy-fit if she ever saw that in print, or an e-mail, or on Twitter or Facebook.  Good grief, it would make all of this North Korean hackin’ into and threatenin’ Sony and Hollywood bru-ha-ha look like walk in the park !”

“Heck, I go to Church every chance that I get.  Heavens know there’s lots of good business connections and deals to be made there.  And I tithe my 10% every Sunday that I do go.“

“Of course, that means that me and the Miss’us are only in Church over the Holidays, and for the Weddin’s and Funerals of our most noteworthy Donors and Supporters.  But just because most of what I do in Life is Motivated by my Love for Money, and the Power and Favors it brings my way, does not mean that it’s my God or that I worship it.  Pshaw, what a ridiculous accusation for you to make, Young‘un.  Did your Mama put you up to makin‘ that charge about me?”

“Well, no, now that I recollect the beginning’ of this Interview, you did just ask me a Question about all of this.  But it sure feels like an accusation has been made.  And as for God.  I Believe in God !”

“My God is somewhere in the Sky.  Somewhere in the Heavens with Angels swirling all him singin’ gospel music 24/7.  My feet however, are planted firmly on Earth, and you have to have Money to Survive.  And the more Money you can grab, gobble down and hoard the better.  But I am not obsessed with it.  I’m merely enamored by the Power it buys me, and the things it affords me to Do.”

“You see, Young’un, my Mama didn’t raise a Fool.  I keep my eyes wide open all of the time.  I know where the Seats of Money and Power are.  The Mega-Bankers, Mega-Corporations and 1%ers that silly, little group of Occupiers were whinin’ all about in front of Wall Street a while back, own, disperse and decide why, when, where, and how all of the Monies of this great Nation and the World are going to Circulate or be withheld.”

“So, of course my Loyalty and Fealty are to the Big Three.  Why, they’ve formed their own kind of Earthly Trinity.  The 1%ers are the gods.  The Mega-Banks are the Heart and Soul - the Holy and Sacrosanct Spirit and Circulatin’ Blood of the 1%ers Power, because whether any 99%er realizes it or not, the 1%ers Own and Run EveryThing and EveryOne.  And the Mega-Corporations round up the Souls and convert the EveryOnes and EveryThings to the 1%ers Ways and Means of Thinkin’ and Doin’ things a lot like Christ did in the Bible.  They bring in the Sheaves and the Sheep that bleat.”

“So, you see most Folks, especially Christian Folks and other Religious Folks are already used to this Ways and Means of Thinkin’.  They’ve already been Behaviorally Trained, Acclimated and Habituated to this kind of Pyramid of Power at Conscious, Sub-Conscious and UnConscious levels.  So, it’s made ‘em easier to break into and guide ‘em through to Our Ways and Means of Existence.  The 99%ers Live and Work to Raise, Nurture and Sustain Our Lives, Our Dreams, Our Desires and Needs.  Not theirs.  The trick is to keep them UnAware of those facts, and romp-and-stomp on those who try to change the proper Order of things.”

“A War here, a Stock drop, a Great Depression or Recession there, a Terrorist and/or Deadly Dis-ease Scare everywhere.  And our Order gets maintained and sustained.  Controlled Chaos helps the 1%ers hold onto their Power and Run things the Way they see fit through the Means they see fit to set into Motion or stop dead in their tracks.  You gotta’ keep the 99%ers dazed and confused, and ever Dis-tracted and Consuming.  It’s the Sacred Life’s Blood of all of Our vested interests.”

“That’s why you could say that EveryOne else outside of the 1%er’s Trinity is just a blip on my screen.  The 1%ers, Mega-Banks and Mega-Corporations are my Mainliners.  They are my Liege.”

“And why not accept a few under the table, over the table or around the table donations and dollars here and there from the Masters and Mistresses I Serve.  There’s no sin in that.  It’s just practical business sense, and it’s made me a very Rich and Powerful man.”

“What’s wrong with that ?  What’s the harm in that ?  I, and my Family, have benefited from doing things this way for years.  And so did many more Folks just like me before I was even a gleam in my Mama and Papa’s Eyes.  Why should I feel guilty about that ?  I work hard for my money, which is more than I can say for the Poor and the Immigrants.  If they would just work as hard as I do, and get their Ostrich Heads out of the ground, they could make something more of themselves, instead of lookin‘ for over-the-table, under-the-table and around-the-table Hand-outs all of the time.”

“No, I do not think that the 1%ers and I are stealin’ hand-outs from the Poor and the Immigrants who are just playin’ by the rules handed down to ‘em, because they’re tryin’ to be Good Citizens, and are practicin’ Compassionate Benevolent Capitalism through a Tool they have Ideated and Created to Maintain and Sustain Societal Order with called Government, that’s supposed to Benefit the Whole of Society instead of just themselves.  How idiotic is that ?”

“Besides, the 1%er, Mega-Banks and Mega-Corporations CEO Autocratic and eventually Totalitarian and Feudalistic Kingdoms and Empires being expanded upon right now as we speak, will put an end to all of that talk of Democratic Freedoms and Basic Human Rights.   We don’t need Small Businesses and Mom and Pop Shops, and Small Community Banks.  They just get in the way of the Ways and Means we wanna’ Rule and Guide the World with.  A very old and familiar Rule and Ancient World Order are comin’ on down the Pike.” 

“And on top of that, Government jobs don’t pay very much.  I only make a little over 100,000 dollars a year.  I have to take on a few little side jobs for the 1%ers from time-to-time just to make ends meet.  The Middle Class and the Poor aren’t the only ones havin’ to work secondary jobs !  After all, my Family and I do have to keep up appearances.  Perception and De-Ception are everything in this Life.”

“And as for God.  God made me !  God made me who and what I am !  If he thinks I’m a Sinner for lookin’ out after my own interests at the expense of America and the World’s Well-Bein’, he’ll Forgive me and let it slide.”

“Why are you askin’ me about this Appropriations Bill we just pushed through, just before Christmas ?  I thought we were discussin’ the Ten Commandments !”

“I am a  Compromised and Compromisin’ Compromiser, Young’un.  And God is the Grandest Compromiser of All !  He’ll understand why the Congress allowed the Citi-Group Folks’ lobbyists to write the few little sentences into that 1,603 page monstrosity of a Bill that will allow the Mega-Banks and their Wall Street cronies and cohorts to start Gamblin’ with EveryBody’s Monies and Investments again, and put the American Tax Payers on the hook again for pickin’ up the tab when the Bubbles they create ‘pop-goes-the-weasel’ again.  Why should we allow the Masters and Mistesses we all work for to pick up a tab they create ?  Didn’t you say that Government is supposed to help Society bear the burdens of Life and Economy for EveryOne ?  Well, by removin’ these Bankin’ and Corporate Regulations that used to Protect all American Citizens, that’s what they’re gonna’ be able to do now.”

“Yes, yes, we also added a few words to the Appropriations Bill that are gonna’ make it possible for us to be able to lessen the Pensions for folks who have already retired now.  And the Rich will be able to contribute ten times the amount of money to whatever Political Campaigns or Personalities they want to now.  So what ?  Haven’t you heard, the Supreme Court voted in Citizen’s United.  Money is Free Speech, and the 1%ers already have more Free Speech than the 99%ers.  All we’re doin’ is gettin’ rid of the Rules and Regulations that keep Us from goin’ and livin’ it up full bore.  We’re just tryin’ to speed-up our own Agendas and Global Economic, Political, Judicial and Societal designs and plans along.  Nothin’ wrong with that.  It’s just sound business acumen and good sense.”

“We gotta’ keep an Eye out for Firebrands like Senator Elizabeth Warren, and those of her ilk.  They’re real troublemakers and rabble-rousers.  But this Populism Movement is gonna’ be short-lived, ‘cause we’ve made sure that the American Public is addicted to their Consumerism and  Dis-tractin’Gadgets.”

“Although, we’re not quite sure what we think about or are gonna’ do about this ever expandin’ Social Media uprisin’.  It could get in the way of or slow down some of our machinations and plans.  But, we’re workin’ tirelessly at keepin’ the Nation and the World in Survival Mode, and liftin’ the ones up who allow us to infiltrate their areas with our Ways and Means of doin’ things.  We’ll get this Keystone Pipeline through.  Forget the Ogalala Aquifer that supplies water to a few central American states.  We’ll spend money in all of the right places, just like we always do, and we’ll eventually get our way.”

“What do you mean by askin’ me if I mind bein’ a Prevaricator of the Truth - an out-and-out Liar ?  A Bearer of False Witness ?  Young’un, the only thing false about me are my teeth.  I’m a true-blue Servant of the 1%ers, and their Truth is my Truth.  As I said before, Perception and De-ception are in the Eyes of the Beholder.  And I am only Beholdin’ to my Masters and Mistresses of the Trinity.”

“And don’t go pointin’ your little ’ole Blamin’ Finger at that Solid Gold Long-horned Steer on my desk and intimatin’ that it’s my Golden Calf, Young’un !  It’s a paper weight !  It was a gift from one of my Constituents, after I helped him with one of his overseas business deals.  And on top of that, I just so happen to like Cows.  In fact, I own quite a few Cows on my little 1,000 acre ranch down in Texas.”

“And don’t go writin’ that I worship that Solid Gold Long-horned Steer, either !  It’s just a paper weight holdin’ down Senate Bills that the House of Representatives has refused to address or even take a look at !”

“Wait a minute.  Scratch that !  I did not mean to say that !”

“Young’un, one day you’re gonna’ thank me for the advise I’m about to give you right now.  I am a Creationist, and it is a Darwinian ‘Dog-Eat-Dog World’ out there….”

“Darwin was a Scientist ?  Scratch that then.  What I meant to say is that it is a ‘Dog-Eat Dog World’ out there, and that ‘Them’s who’s got the Gold has Got the Rule’ !  And you better get on board with that very Real Reality, Young’un, because the Predators of this World will make you their Prey, if you don’t !  And that bit of hard Truth should make you wanna’ get down on your knobby little knees in Fear and Trepidation to Pray.“

“Listen, when I leave Politics with my accrued millions, then I’ll be a Better Person.  Then I’ll support the Charities I create and Profit from monetarily and reputation-wise…..Wait !  Scratch the last part of that sentence, 

Young’un !”

“I don’t know about you, but I feel that we’ve gone full Circle with this Ten Commandments thing.”

“I get it.  You’re an Idealistic Do-Gooder.  You wanna’ be one of the next Fire Breathin’ Prometheus Dragons to Enlighten and Save the Whole Wide World.  Well, have at it, ’cause this Interview is over, Young’un.”

“I’m takin’ my Solid Gold Long-horned Steer paid for by the American Tax-Payers and my 1%er Constituent with me.  Be sure and give your Mama my love.  And as for you, Young’un, I am biddin’ you adieu and Good Fortune.  ’Cause you’re gonna’ need it.”