Numb

A lyrical poem about having ideas but being too afraid to speak your mind..

I’ve been lost in my own world for far too long

And the words on the walls still stand strong

I can hear them as well as the seashores around

Hesitation has me bolted firm to the floor

 

I don’t know if this is the trail I was on

Before too long the footprints were gone

And now I must mark a new place in the snow

That has coated the already-frozen gray lawn

 

The smells of slick ice still bite at my nose

And my feet underneath stiff from snow of maltose

I’ve been wondering for years around these blackberry fields

Planting wishes in all the surrounding meadows

 

I’ve given up all of my hope now so far

And the scent of lemons and mint I’ve learned to debar

Still fog up my mind with lovely new dreams

Of champagne in an elegant, white-walled boudoir

 

If the face of the moon reflects off of the lake

And a third sip of wine is all I can take

Then surely the morning would be dawning soon

In the colors and hues of warm orange cakes

 

I would hold drops of morning dew firm to my lips

As the fog danced around my still cold fingertips

I still take in the smells of the cattails and grass

And my soggy dress skirt still loose at my hips

 

I’ll lace those ripe berries with bangles of gold

The lyrics and verses with melodies bold

There’s just one missing note that I have yet to place

But its flavor at last has gone timidly cold

 

I can’t get rid of the numbing sensation still

It’s lingered on on my damp windowsill

And I can’t bring myself to shoo it away

I am numb but the feeling is dreadfully real

 

Those mint-woven scents have faded once more

I’ve left them all out at the foot of my door

The feeling was false and planted ideas

I hid them under my paneled wood floor

 

I still feel the guilt of leaving them there

Under the floors of my home in rooms that are bare

I know I should leave them to collect dust alone

But I hear their old hearts slowly open to tear

 

I have every power to scoop them back up

To bring memories forth in a gold-handled cup

But to flaunt them around as if some sort of gift

Had the chance to create an alarming slip-up

 

Then and there I’ve decided to reside to the chore

Of leaving those thoughts under floorboards once more

The thoughts still come back and claw at my ears

But they’re better off left unresolved, unexplored.

 

I believe that my voice is always too small

To be heard through such a towering wall

And if I had a chance to let my voice be heard

I’d create an effectively stalling icefall

 

The berries had ripened till they rotted at last

I’ve forgotten of feelings or thoughts from the past

I can no longer hold the dewdrops to my face

Because of numbness I can desperately never outlast.

Reviews

[smkb90]

I really enjoyed reading this. The words achieved to paint images in my head. It is charged and powerful, yet dreamy. great job!

[Walker Andreasen]

You painted and amazing picture here. If it wasn't for the rhyming i would have thought I was reading a story. Wonderful job expressing yourself and telling a story. I loved it!

[words a la carte]

I don't usually have the patience to sit through really long poems. But I really liked this one. And I love the extended metaphor. This is a beautiful piece.

[Shy Girl]

This was really good. Really good. Loved it :)

[r. f. jordan]

i am reminded of Poe, especially toward the end of the piece. the rhyme scheme, and use of quatrains, provide traditional movement through an interesting vision. i appreciate the talent you share with me on this site.

[....]

Wow, this is so deep and wonderful. I loved the imagery in this so much.

[Ripple of Aqua]

I love the way you take us through these stages, stages of learning, building your metaphors and enchanting us even further. This was perfect.

[humahum]

I like this, it goes to a certain depth and would fit in with my other contest nicely. You ought to check it out. It's called "Rock and roll heart failure." Seriously this is well penned.

[maria♫♪]

I agree with V M Smith

[V M Smith]

it's not nonsensical, but it is metaphoric and the right kind of dreamy. i like the rhyme scheme, too. you've great potential and you're still young. keep growing. :)