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A Story by Elizabeth Thief
"

I wrote this after I was inspired by a dream I had. Nightmare would probably be more accurate, but you get my point.

"

In my dreams, I'm in a dark place.

I see moonlight spilling through dirty windows. Cobwebs are everywhere. They look like veils, blowing in the cool breeze.

Then I see her.

Her dress is spread around her as she sits on the ground. Her black hair stirs as she moves, the white streaks in it glowing in the moonlight. Swirling tattoos cover her arms and neck. Her angelic wings are tangled in spiderwebs. She doesn't seem to notice. The chains around her wrists and ankles rattle, unwilling to give her freedom. She gazes at me, black tears staining her cheeks.

Her mouth moves, but all I hear is the rattling of the chains. She keeps trying to tell me something, but I can't understand her. She looks sad. And afraid.

I ask her why she's scared. She points behind me.

I turn to see what she points at. I scream.

© 2009 Elizabeth Thief


Author's Note

Elizabeth Thief
I'll probably take this down after awhile. I experimented with a new writing style...not sure how I did :/
Any feedback would be great!!

My Review

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Featured Review

what did she see!!! i want to know i am frustrated now. i read it all, it pulled me in and i was hooked and then nothing why stop there. oh man there could have been a real big gem here. you say your experitmenting with a new writing style as i don't know your old one i can't compare but i enjoyed the flow and pace of this one. the description zapped me into a new world that's why i think i wanted it to go on longer. one word change sugguestion just to aid the pace last line you wrote' i turn to see what she points at' i thought it need to be pointed instaed of points. but only a sugguestion. i will looking out for more of your work very promising. good job. take care

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

what did she see!!! i want to know i am frustrated now. i read it all, it pulled me in and i was hooked and then nothing why stop there. oh man there could have been a real big gem here. you say your experitmenting with a new writing style as i don't know your old one i can't compare but i enjoyed the flow and pace of this one. the description zapped me into a new world that's why i think i wanted it to go on longer. one word change sugguestion just to aid the pace last line you wrote' i turn to see what she points at' i thought it need to be pointed instaed of points. but only a sugguestion. i will looking out for more of your work very promising. good job. take care

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this a lot. I think it would be better without the last sentence, I scream. It adds more mystery. But that's just me. Every writer is different. It would be a shame to take this down!

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It was profound, but still very different. I liked it. Even though it was short i invisioned the girl from your writing. I enjoyed reading this

nice job

BrittneyMarie

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 13, 2009

Author

Elizabeth Thief
Elizabeth Thief

Ireland



About
Hi!! I'm Elizabeth (Eliza works just fine too, but please not Beth. Ugh) I'm 15 and I am who I am. I'm slightly crazy and weird and wild but that's who I am (ok, maybe a little more than slightly ;D)... more..

Writing