IN HER DEFENCE

Very young she learned “No” was a bad word.

She must not say it to any adult.

Mom would spank her for being defying.

“Don’t dare be bold, do whatever you’re told!”

Easy target!  There is no denying.

When grown men started touching her body,

As a child, saying “No!” caused her much pain.

If she pleaded or claimed she was too sore,

They called her a pup, told her to grow up.

Then degraded and forced her to do more.

 

Thus she learned to just suffer in silence. 

Was told, “That’s how true women express love.”

“Sex is all girls were meant for, to be sure.”

She needs to be good, learn all that she should.

What a ‘favor’ they were doing for her.

 

One trauma modifies more than outlook,

Distorts perception and alters our norm,

A physical change happens to the brain.

But day after day, she was hurt this way;

Raped and abused while ignoring her pain.

Nothing special to save for a husband,

She confused promiscuity with love.

At least then she was getting attention.

All the secrets hid, since she was a kid.

Lying covered what she’d never mention.

 

She struggled hard to be faithful to you.

But old habits and patterns were ingrained.

Her deserving good, she could not believe.

Your love was more than she’d ever hoped for.

She just needed to learn how to receive.

 

I’m not trying to make up excuses.

Simply presenting a view of her past

To help you to see her greatest regret

It is a fact, moral compass she lacked,

She should have treated your love with respect.

 

It’s my hope you’ll not judge her too harshly

Twenty plus, years ago I promised her,

Should you ever hear of her secret life,

If she’s not here to say she loves you dear

She deeply wished she had been a good wife.

Reviews

[Seashell]

This is way too sad Ellen. Some poor folk live their lives with these hidden dark secrets and end up taking them to the grave. One wonders how their lives would have turned out if only if only......
Bless them all

Great write here dearest friend... I know this one pains you xxxx

[Valentine]

For some it is a life of choice, for others they are sold into it. Everyone deserves better than this. Valentine

[Ellen Hammond]

Thanks for reviewing this one, my friend. Sadly, way too many are used and abused from early childhood and it can really screw us up, mind, body, and soul. This poem was inspired by someone very dear to me who lived such a life but some of it is definitely autobiographical too.

[Susan Beth Horvath]

Oh how very sad!!! Your words drew me in and carried me through your poem. I was consumed with the read.

[Ellen Hammond]

Thank you for taking time to review this write even though it is sad.

[Frieda P]

A sad story within your poetry, which unfortunately affects way too man women. Lots of depths and the sentiments come across perfectly.

[Ellen Hammond]

Thank you! It is sad by too true for so many of us who have suffered abuse but I think it is a story that needs to be told and heard. Glad to hear the sentiments come across well.

[A. Amos]

I love the feel, emotions and the depth of this poem. Truly an amazing piece of art, and such work make direct connection with reader soul. Epic!

[Ellen Hammond]

I am humbled by the reviews you have written re my poetry. This one was a very hard poem to write as it was written to keep a promise I made to someone close, decades ago. Glad you find it makes a direct connection with the reader's soul. Thanks!

[A. Amos]

I love reading your work and I felt your message...you're most welcome

[John Anderson]

very original and enjoyable poem...i liked this a lot...very good work!

[Ellen Hammond]

Thank you. This one was a harder one to write but it holds a lot of truth that needed to be said.

[Anita B Jacques]

Hi sweetie, I just found this, I'm 71 years old and still hoping that they are not all the same, a very nice old friend of mine, 75 years old, grew up with my late husband, removed his mask a few weeks ago, he brooke our friendship of 45 years, a very nasty man with a wife in the Nursing Home. The pain is on our shoulders, why is it?
God bless you my dear friend, Hugs
Annie

[Ellen Hammond]

Thanks for stopping by Annie. I think the pain is always on our shoulders because women of our generation have been taught to accept blame and to feel guilty even though many were victims.

[Emily B]

i saw a reflection here, and there are no words

[Ellen Hammond]

Thank you Emily. It is sad how many of us could relate to this one.