Mixed Emotions

Mixed Emotions

A Poem by Ellen Hammond

MIXED  EMOTIONS

















For years, love for you has been growing

Beyond just the friendship we shared

Far away I sensed your moods and pain

A need to know somebody cared


Finally, told you of my feelings

Which seemed to take you by surprise

You might have suspected that curve ball

Should you have ever seen my eyes


You feared losing our cherished friendship

What new dynamics it might bring

Yet shortly after I pitched that ball

You adjusted your stance to swing


Building a relationship online

Can become a balancing act

As situations and suspicions 

May vary greatly from the facts


We spent hours chatting in daytime

When you were working, maybe bored

Evenings and weekends when you were home

I felt neglected and ignored


When you declared your love for others

Jealousy reared its ugly head

My feelings of insecurity

Released monster I thought long dead


If two of us you meet face to face

You  said its then you'd have to choose

That response did not sit well with me

Afraid once again I would lose


Back into my shell I then withdrew

Time to reflect and search my soul

After that dormant creature revived

Need to get it under control


A dark side I've fought hard to repress

Returned without hesitation

Now I need to adjust my desires

For my own heart's preservation


My happiness can't depend on you

I'm often second choice it seems

Perhaps I must back away and heal

Before we crush all hope and dreams


© 2017 Ellen Hammond



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Featured Review

'You feared losing our cherished friendship
What new dynamics it might bring
Yet shortly after I pitched that ball
You adjusted your stance to swing'

Oh my goodness. Ellen.. what a long consideration of an enormously emotional on.going event! I won't question fact or fiction: when one writes it's done so with experience of the world anyway. Seems solid thinking is called for, come what may.

As to your writing, it is, as ever more than fine.. you use metre so well, almost til the end when emotions wind here or there. Your use fr words has always been exemplary. And mostly for me, it's a real pleasure to see you back in the cafe more often!

Take care of yourself please. Em

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ellen Hammond

5 Months Ago

Thanks Emma! I am not here often these days but it is always a pleasure to hear from you. When I .. read more



Reviews

I loved the last verse. The truth is we can't depend on anyone for our own happiness but ourselves. Sometimes responsibility to others takes place before our own happiness but if this is because of love I don't think we even count the cost. But once we realize another's happiness is something we are not responsible for we may be free to find our own. Of course, this only applies between adults and not children. If we have children we are responsible to a certain degree for their happiness and well being until they are grown. I've been blessed with always having my children to think of and it's made many of my life choices easier.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ellen Hammond

1 Month Ago

Thanks for taking time to read this and leaving some good advice in your comment, Fabian. It is so .. read more
'You feared losing our cherished friendship
What new dynamics it might bring
Yet shortly after I pitched that ball
You adjusted your stance to swing'

Oh my goodness. Ellen.. what a long consideration of an enormously emotional on.going event! I won't question fact or fiction: when one writes it's done so with experience of the world anyway. Seems solid thinking is called for, come what may.

As to your writing, it is, as ever more than fine.. you use metre so well, almost til the end when emotions wind here or there. Your use fr words has always been exemplary. And mostly for me, it's a real pleasure to see you back in the cafe more often!

Take care of yourself please. Em

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ellen Hammond

5 Months Ago

Thanks Emma! I am not here often these days but it is always a pleasure to hear from you. When I .. read more

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Added on March 24, 2017
Last Updated on March 24, 2017

Author

Ellen Hammond
Ellen Hammond

Saint John, N.B., Bay of Fundy , Canada



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