The Wake

Dedicated to my friend whose father passed away this week.

There is me, in pain.

Clutching, gripping, squeezing my heart

to bloodlets,

droplets, 

drop and a drop

tears countless, 

overflowed

like rainfall, oh rainfall

longing for a rainbow.

There is you, in peace.

Immovable, immobile

Sleeping still, steel, cold as stone

stone hard, 

the truth drops, 

thud and a thud,

agonizing, recounting, pieces of distant past

passed away as instant

as a breath took in

and a breath robbed out,

momentary breathing

then stopping, 

it stopped.

Waited for more time 

no more time

waiting no more.

Reviews

[Daisy Morgy]

This was a very deep and emotion filled poem, it works well and showcases a strong meaning, my favorite part is when you say " no more time, waiting no more" asthough times ran out so you dont have to wait i just thought it was a good oposite , well done!

[EloisaWrites]

Thanks, TheWarrior97. :)

[Lydia Shutter]

Monumentally emotional words in this write. Having just lost a very close family member myself, I identified with the emotion. Beautifully written. Lydi**

[EloisaWrites]

Thanks for the review, Lydi. :)

[Relic]

Incredibly sad. The death of a loved one is such a terrible thing to have to experience. You made us feel each tear and each painful moment that always seems to go on forever. Nice writing.

[EloisaWrites]

Thank you so much for the kind words, Relic. I'm glad you liked it. :)

[Sami Khalil]

"stone hard,

the truth drops,

thud and a thud"

[EloisaWrites]

Thanks, Sami. I'm glad you liked it. :)

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome...:).....................

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is very beautiful and very sad...immense feeling is found in these words.

jacob

[EloisaWrites]

Thank you for the review, Jacob. :)

[Michelle N. H.]

Powerful and profound. I'm sorry for your losses, truthfully. You gave your friend a beautiful gift through this very poem.

[EloisaWrites]

Thank you for your kind words. Well, that time, I felt that it was only my words and my sympathy that I can offer, so... :)

[Michelle N. H.]

One could not have done more. You did beautifully :) and you're welcome.

[TheLoneWriter]

I loved the writing. I could feel every emotion and I could feel the pain coming out of the words. In only a few words you conveyed so much emotion it was empowering to read.

[EloisaWrites]

Thank you so much!

[Jared Michael Smith]

Wow... Excellent imagery, Eloisa... It really recreates that tragic moment when you realize they're gone for good. Painful or not, though, this poem was very well done, and I commend you on your work. :-)

[EloisaWrites]

So glad you liked it! :)

[Jared Michael Smith]

So glad you shared it. :D

[Clairvoyant]

A very mournful piece, you expressed the grief of losing a loved one with a sad poetic beauty. Very well done.

[EloisaWrites]

Thanks for reviewing this poem. This was actually triggered after seeing the grief of my friend whose father passed away this week. I was by her side when they took him to the hospital and performed a surgery. And I was also there with her when her father passed away. It was a very difficult time for her.

[Clairvoyant]

That's is terrible, I am very sorry to hear of your friends loss. She is lucky to have such a person at her side with her through it. Though I must tell you, the emotion you betrayed was so deep I was sure the pain had to be your own. Please forgive me for asking, have you lost someone in the past to draw this pain from? Or was this purely empathic?

[EloisaWrites]

I would like to say that it was purely out of empathy but I think it had been easy to feel her pain because I've been there. Two years ago, an uncle who was like a father to me, died all of a sudden. I have also lost my grandfather and my grandmother when I was just beginning to really know them and learn from them. But I guess, the feelings of losing where I drew these words out also came from losing people who have been an important part of my life. People whom I once swear will leave a great void in my life once I lose them; one is a best friend, another is a sister, and another ones a friend. They don't necessarily die. Sometimes, we just lose them and we go on our own way like strangers. And it hurts like hell. It is like an undying torment, renewed every time I miss them. Maybe that is why a lot of my poems are about losing and loving. It feels like I have loved too much. And they became poems. :)

[Clairvoyant]

It's hard to loose your family, but you are right, it is equally as hard when people change and go different directions, when friendships fall apart. If you continue to draw on all of those experiences I believe you will continue to have potent and emotionally drawing work. I am looking forward to reading more of your stuff!

[Sami Khalil]

Sad and mournful write...Thank you for sharing...:)......................

[EloisaWrites]

Thank you for reviewing this, Sami. :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)...............