Chapter Four- The Lullaby

"What the hell are you doing?!"

I jumped up quickly out of my sleep when I heard yelling coming from down the hall.

"It's none of your damn concern!" Yelled the other person. Their voices carried loudly and I'm sure throughout the silence anyone near by heard them also. The argument carried on and I crept on tiptoes to my door then opened it slowly. It creaked and the argument stopped. I waited and the whole place seemed as if it stood silent, there was no sound at all.

"Hello?" I whispered. There was nothing. I creep out from behind the door to look over the edge of the railing and see a shadow walk through into one of the rooms. "Hey!" I say loudly but the shadow is gone and nobody answers. I gather my gown and head for the stairs. I run down them quickly and once I'm at the door now and for some reason a stall. There's nothing to be scared of anymore. I'm dead, what could happen.

I push the door so that it's fully open and it creeks like the others do. There by the widow is the figure.

"Hello, why didn't you answer me and what was all the arguing about?" I ask.

"It was just a misunderstanding darling." Louise's voice came from the shadow.

"What kind of misunderstanding?" I'm pushing it by prying but I can't help my curiosity.

"Isabella, it was nothing so don't worry about it." There was annoyance in his voice.

Not wanting to be a nuisance any longer I turn on my heels, walk out of the room and head up the stairs. Once back at the top I hear a small groan.

"Ugh, what are you doing out and about at this time?" Asking Marcos as he steps forward.

I didn't feel much like talking now but I didn't want to seem discourteous.

" Some arguing woke me, I was just curious to see what all the noise was about." I replied with pursed lips.

" You are quiet curious about many things aren't you?" He said with a half grin. "Well, what did you find out?"

" I didn't find out anything. I don't know what it was about and frankly I only cared because it woke me." I said as he stood closer now.

"Ahh. In that case I'll leave you be." He bowed after he spoke and twirled his hand about.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be impertanant it's just- I don't really know."

I didn't want to tell him that maybe Louise had thrown me in a bad mood with his coldness in the room earlier. It seemed as if they really didn't care for each other and maybe it was best not to mention him.

"Let me show you something?" He asked holding out his hand.

I took it reluctantly at first and as we walked he took my hand and put it in the crook of his arm.

"I haven't remembered much about my past but as of lately I've had these vivid dreams. They wake me up at night and the I cannot sleep. I started walking about at night and exploring the property, just something to keep my mind at ease maybe." He said and I hadn't noticed how soft his voice was until now.

" I noticed different parts of the house have different airflow and it's almost like a pull." he kept on.

I was confused.

"What do you mean I don't understand." I said.

We walked along another moment and then up past the third floor.

"Look, I'll show you." He pulled my hand from his arm and help it out.

"What do you feel?" He asked almost excitedly.

I stood for a moment with my hand out and felt a small breeze, almost like a gust of wind but it was small and constant.

"I feel- air?" I told him with a question.

He walked over towards the wall and pulled a candelabra down and suddenly the painting beside it on the wall opened like a door. I gasped and walked over to Marcos as he held his arms up as to tell me to lead the way. There was only the dim moonlight to allow me to see where I was going. Past the painting door there was a small hallway and then it came to a few steps that led upwards. I stalled and waiting for Marcos to tell me to go on but instead he slid past me and lead the way up.

"Isn't it strange to find out suddenly there are secrets here after all this time we've been here and we never knew?" He was gleaming as the small stairway opened into a room not much bigger.

"What is this place?" I asked as I looked around. A few stacks of papers piled high were on one side of the room with vases and a few statues on the other. A couple of dresses laid across a table and on it were a few letters.

"apparently it's some sort of secret room or maybe a hiding place. The whole property must be full of hidden rooms." He was at the table now rummaging through the letters.

I look through some of the papers as well but the writing is too scratchy and I cannot read it.

" It's a neat room Marcos but I should g-"

"Oh, well this is interesting." He said cutting me off as he held up the letter and read through it.

Curiosity struck again and move closer to Marcos.

"What is?" I ask.

He hands me the paper and a read through it.

* My dearest Gabriella,*

*You mustn't write to me so often. I am very busy and I have made it clear before that I have not looked at another woman. You are the only woman to hold my heart, my love. Please don't be so commandeering, I will return once my business is done. Just promise me you will stop for the time being and I promise to write you at least once a week. I'm sorry this is short but I really must go now.*

*Yours faithfully,*
*Louise De Lancre*

I stood in shock but because Louise had lied to me. He told me he never loved anyone and he never even felt close to it. He lied to me. He didn't have to lie about something so small. Why does it even both me so much?

"That is interested." I say calmly trying to hold off on my anger. Marcos eyes are dark as he looks at me.

" I figured you would have liked to know a little more about Louise before the two of you carried on. You have a right to know."

"Carried on? There's nothing going on between us." I say and I feel slightly sad when the words leave my mouth.

"Well dear, I must be going. This was rather fun though." Marcos just about skipped out of the room.

" Wait, you're just going to leave now? Is this why you brought me here?" I asked with hurt on my voice.

"Of course not Isabella. I really didn't know about his past, I just wanted to show you this place. I thought you of all people here would like to know that this place has secrets and hidden rooms just waiting to be explored." He was sincere now.

"Thank you, I should be going as well." I said as I walked passed him and out the secret doorway.

I ran up the stairs as fast as I could and ran straight into a firm chest.

"What's wrong Isabella?" Asked Louise with concern.

" Oh, you're the last person I want to talk to!" I cried as I pushed past him.

"Why? What did I do?" He asked like he didn't already know.

"Just go away!" I screamed and ran into my room.

With little effort the door slammed shut behind me and I collapsed in the chair next to the bed. How could I have been so stupid? Of course he had some kind of love life before his death but why lie? For the sake of me feeling like maybe someone understood me? I can't believe I cried to him about wanting to have know love once. It's better this way, I actually think it's meant to be this way. Once you die there's no hope again for watching else. It's just the same things over again and it will always be that way. I'll walk the halls and look at the paintings, stare we the gardens and wonder what could have been.

I still wonder what Marcos story is but it would be a lie just like Louise's I'm sure. Maybe all these men lie and that's just how they are. Maybe even Maria and everyone else just lie to feel wanted and secure like we all have things in common other than dying in this dreadful place.
Am I truly the only one who doesn't remember anything before all of this?

~

A few weeks have gone by and I haven't spoken a work to Louise. I have seen him twice but at a sideways glance when he'd look at me as he'd leave or enter a room. Marcos has made small talk here or there but I haven't felt like conversing, it's just better this way. It is hard actually, how are you supposed to forget about people you have to see everyday and night. It's impossible with these circumstances to avoid people.
I was deep in my thoughts when I was pulled out of them by Maria who was humming along as she walked past the tea room I was sitting in. Suddenly it was like the air was knocked out of me and I was in a dream state again.
There was a girl that was no more that ten r so sitting in a small swing under a huge tree with a woman pushing her, she was singing a song with the same melody. The little girl smiled as the woman pushed her.

" Go higher mommy!" The girl was ecstatic. I came back to reality from my day dream and got up quickly to try and catch Maria.

"Maria, wait!" I exclaimed.

Maria came to a halt at the end of the hallway.

"What is that you're humming?" I almost yelled.

"Uhm, I believe it's called Lavender's Blue." She answered with her eyebrows together.

"Can you sing it for me?" I begged.

"Well yes, but why is it so important?" She looked worried.

"Please, I just need to hear it." I pleaded.

Maria cleared her throat.

"Lavender's blue, dilly dilly,
Lavender's green,
When you are king, dilly dilly,
I shall be queen."

"Wow it's the same." How strange is that.

"What's the same dear?" Asking Maria as she rubbed my arm.

" I just- I thought I knew that song when I heard it. It's like I remembered it." I exclaimed.

Maria gave me a big smile. "That is great dear." She said as she patted my arm and went on her way.

The song kept playing along in my head as I hummed along to it. It's still so strange, I keep having these dreams and day dreams of people I don't even know but they feel so so real.