Castle in the Sky

 

 

♡♥♡

 

She was the loneliest little girl in the world

With not a friend to call her own

Living on the edge of existence, the peak of humanity

She built a castle and called it home

 

In the sky above her head it sat

With graceful white spires reaching tall

Decorated with exotic flowers

And with a great spiral staircase in the hall

 

Crystals furnished the castle rooms

And the chiming noise of silver bells

Rang out and echoed almost like voices

Whispering their enchanting spells

 

The sun always shone on her castle

And it sparkled and glistened in the light

It’s walls were made of thick white glass

That glowed prettier than the moon at night

 

The little girl lived in her secret castle

Her huge, beautiful castle in the sky

And while she was still a lonely little girl

She was safe way up there on high

 

And then one summer day

When heat made the roses smelt divine

A young boy looked up and saw the floating palace

And he stayed very still watching for a long time

 

He then vowed to go to the castle

And see what was trapped inside

And so he dreamt and he dreamt

And finally, at that very castle he arrived

 

He was taken aback by its grand architecture

Fell in love with its beauty and grace

And he turned and saw that very splendour

Mirrored in the little girl’s face

 

 She was fearful and yet curious

Struck by his handsome and gentle stance

She knew it was time to say goodbye

As she fell into his outstretched arms

 

And so that little girl left her castle

Her cold, beautiful castle in the sky

It’s abandoned now, but you can still see it

If you open your mind and try

 

♡♥♡

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Don Coorough]

Very nice! I really enjoy the way you just let go and give free vent to whatever you feel! The place you describe becomes utterly real in my mind's eye through your descriptions and through the emotional content. Great use of tone and voice. There is a nice singing quality to the poem as well. Excellent! - EllisD

[obsidianxv]

I really love this poem. I read it the other day and it really moved me so much I had to come back and read it again. Your descriptions are so nicely chosen and beautifully described. A real masterpiece.

[Enigma]

*gasps*...
*sighs*
WOW!!! That was outstanding!! Simply brilliant! Amazing! Fantastic!!
You created such a lovely story up there. I can't seem to stop thinking about it. It's so sweet. A castle in the sky, a topic very well presented.
I look up to the sky
Mainly to watch clouds go by
But I never knew about such a place
Which is still there, full of beuaty and grace...
Heheheh!!
Couldn't stop myself...lolz
Anyway, back to the appreciation...
Yeah! That was mind-blowing. I love it for its structure, for its flow, for its rhyme...for...argh! I love the whole poem....
Outstanding, once again...
I'm so glad I read this. Made me feel so good....^_^
TERRIFIC WRITE!!!

[Mistral Bilgera]

Very beautiful!

"Love can set you free, even of yourself."
i expected so much from your definition, and it didn't fail me! i can't select my favorite stanza coz i love it all! :)
this poem showed well the beauty of love and hope. very vivid imagery. Unlike many love poems, this is not a tedious read.

i always love your poems!

[Orlando Murcia]

That was a really beautiful poem, I loved it. It made me become a believer of you can have anything your heart desires as long as you believe. Great work. Orlando

[Emily Rose]

This is so cuuuuute! It's every girl's fantasy, isn't it? (It strongly reminds me of a lot of the stuff I write ocassionally when I'm pining for a white knight to come an sweep me off my feet. XD) Your imagery is gorgeous as usual (and nice choice of font color, by the way!) - you really paint a picture of a castle that I would want to live in. I really like your note that even though the little girl dreamed up this castle for herself, she was still lonely. It really reflects on the fact that we can't always be perfectly happy, even when we think we have everything we want. The boy's gallantry and general awesomeness is portrayed really well too. What a catch for the girl!

One mistake I have to point out (and slap your wrist for): "It's walls were made of thick white glass" I know you can use the possessive "its" correctly! You did it in a later line: "He was taken aback by its grand architecture/Fell in love with its beauty and grace" Nix the apostrophe and you're golden :-)

[Omar]

I think it's beautiful that you say "beautiful" too much. It's such a deep word if loked at closely, and sometimes people overuse it, they don't know what it means! But I believe you do:)
This poem is divine. And I love the creamy pink theme you've placed in context, makes it all the more softer. I've always had my very own castle in the sky, and these little fantasies of mine have brushed my imagination so many times. What you've built here is indeed "beautiful", and to top the cake off with this pretty cherry of love is BRILLIANT. You've made the bitter sweetness that girl was living just sweeter! Splendid.

[Constance]

I love this poem, in thought and in execution. What a beautiful creation you've made here!
I do have a few things I noticed that could be improved upon, though it's lovely and worthy just as it is.
The poem seems to have meter, but there are some places where that meter is lost. If you could refind it where it's lost, by counting your syllables and rethinking just a few of the lines a bit, shortening a phrase or two, it would flow like a perfect dream. Also, there's a typo here: "When heat made the roses smelt divine", I think that you meant smell.
Overall, very nice, and it left me with a happy feeling. Well done!

[Shelly Wiseberg]

Beautiful poetry, Shelly

[Raja]

When I am alone and deep in thoght,I used to see the sky. It gives me food for thought. Like, your poem paints a familiar-but-new sensation in me. It is simple, organized, and emotive. It takes me deep inside with its so powerful, yet plain, words.

"Her cold, beautiful castle in the sky

It's abandoned now, but you can still see it

If you open your mind and try"

I love this portion very much.

Thank You.

Raja.