Gone (Should Be)

...Should' be gone.

...It was two nights ago. 

I was alone.

Had the sharpest knife. I just wanted to bleed out this life.

...hours went by. 

I still wasn't satisfied. 

Went kind of crazy.

 My thinking completely turned hazy. 

Took all the old needles out. 

Took all the old pills out. 

I just wanted this to end. 

I didn't want to live. 

Swallowed all the pills from all three bottles. Stuck my arms with those wretched needles. 

Ten times. I've never felt so high. 

I smiled. 

Smiled for I knew that in just a couple of seconds, I would make my last goodbye. 

Body started shutting down. 

I felt my eyes getting heavy. 

"Finally", I said. 

But "finally" never came. 

I woke the next day. 

Tears brimmed my eyes. 

"Why!" I screamed. 

Was it all just a dream? 

Couldn't be. 

There are the empty bottles. The needles still stuck into my arms.

 I can hear the alarm. 

Am I really here? 

Really alive? Or am I a ghost? 

This must be a hoax. 

But I realize it isn't. 

I'm alive. Dead alive. 

Why? 

How? 

Why couldn't I just sleep? 

Sleep forever...

Reviews

[hopeless]

This painted a very vivid picture in my head, thank you to Emily who requested it. Just some words of encouragement, things get better. Don't look to the worst possible way to make things better. Your problems are temporary but death is forever. Someone out there loves you. Keep your head up love. xx

[Luna Zerimar]

Thank you so much. Your words have made my day. x

[SuspectGray]

Sounds like a fate worst than death. A reminder that it's our own actions that determine our fate.

[Simon Welsh]

Brutal. I hope you're feeling better.

[Luna Zerimar]

Brutal, yes. Feeling better, no. But thank you friend.

[Jennie Baron]

Wow, I've never felt quite this bad but you paint a vivid picture of what it's like to feel entirely hopeless. I'm basically optimistic and tried to find some hope in the fact that perhaps the person was saved for some good reason. Very well done!

[Luna Zerimar]

Thank you. I'm not sure why that person woke up..we'll find out one day..

[catwoman]

this really drew me in..i like it a lot :)

[Mayank]

It was a terrific experience, even in a dreams...
we hit all time high then rock bottom!

[Ana B.]

Oh my.....what a bittersweet story.....unusual poem, yet trully compelling.

[Luna Zerimar]

Thank you.

[Emily]

Wow, I loved it!
I was seem to love poems like this.
It made me feel like I was there!
Keep it up!!

[Luna Zerimar]

Thank you.