Diet

Diet

A Poem by Woody
"

Weight is everybody's nightmare.

"

This is the story of Hugh Mongusbum

A free spirit and a wonderful mate

Kind and generous as a rule of thumb

Though he’s a little bit overweight

 

His wife doesn’t enjoy sex anymore

His gut is to blame, his weight an ordeal

Not on the bed, not even on the floor

In his shoes, imagine how you’d feel

 

He exercised daily, went to the gym

Worked out, pumped iron n’ used the treadmill

Hoping that one day he'd become slim

But fat and flabby he remained still

 

The nutritionist saw the problem straight away

So he suggested: “why don’t you diet?”

In Hugh’s face joy took the place of dismay

He said: “which colour d’you think she’ll like it?”

 

 

© 2015 Woody


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Featured Review

I have poem to review this time. I liked it, funny with many true glimpses into human nature. Not keen on your font though, prefer really black fonts for my tired old eyes.

How do you know me so well, who told you all about me, why did you write it down for all to see.

i liked the ending, you probably have Welsh blood, same humour. Does humour dwell in the blood or gene-pool, probably not.

Hugh was probably a little deaf when he mistook diet for dye it. So funny yet so true.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

hi Frank. I'm sorry, mate. you know that sooner or later the truth will out. my readers have the rig.. read more



Reviews

Yasss!!! This is funny and a delightful little quick read at 1:45 am this Friday morning. Maybe I'll actually park next to my regular parking spot at work and walk those extra six steps...

Posted 6 Years Ago


Woody,
"Diet"
All of a sudden the superficial comes to mind. Weight is so trasitory but at the same time reallly important. I like how youv'e made light of it just a little bit. It is easy to take ourselves to seriously. How many of us have been bone thin and stil feel like we are fat!? Bless you for writing this reminder to place focus on the importance of human beings and not their bodies.
Kathy

Posted 6 Years Ago


aaaarrrggghhh.....snagged me on that one Woody.... a question, in the third stanza, third line, "he will become"... seems to stagger the flow of the meter. How about something like: "Hoping one day he'd become slim" or Hoping that one day he would become slim" I don't know, maybe we should all just dye-it..... hahaahahaha

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

thank you roarke for the visit and the suggestion. you're right. I'll make the change.
mmm.. d.. read more
Delightful play on words...dye it, diet! Smiling here. Great rhyming. Lydi**

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

actually I meant the guy's name :)
thanks again Lydia.
Lydia Shutter

9 Years Ago

humongous bum? I think that is SUPERB!!!!!!
Woody

9 Years Ago

hahaha thank you Lydia. I feel so much better :)
Well, the man is willing to do just about anything to please his wife--except, of course, cut down on the gut-fill. In a way, I suppose he's "color blind."
Enjoyed this amusing poetic anecdote and it's nicely rhymed account of Huge Hugh.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

thanks loads Frankie. glad you enjoyed this one.
Huge Hugh. I like that, though that's not wha.. read more
I have poem to review this time. I liked it, funny with many true glimpses into human nature. Not keen on your font though, prefer really black fonts for my tired old eyes.

How do you know me so well, who told you all about me, why did you write it down for all to see.

i liked the ending, you probably have Welsh blood, same humour. Does humour dwell in the blood or gene-pool, probably not.

Hugh was probably a little deaf when he mistook diet for dye it. So funny yet so true.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

hi Frank. I'm sorry, mate. you know that sooner or later the truth will out. my readers have the rig.. read more
Lol. I didn't see that coming. I have to admit!
Clever twist of meaning!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

thanks Ana :) always a pleasure to surprise you.
I am on a diet!gained 3 pounds I like this diet

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

haha. pick a colour, first :)
I chose blue. works like a charm.
Love Mr Hugh Mongusbum. Very funny.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

he's a lovable character, though he's.. huge :) thanks a lot Murph. pleased you find it funny.
this sounds like a tom sawyer type classic

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

9 Years Ago

oh my! how flattering to be compared to Mark Twain! thank you very much wordman.
 wordman

9 Years Ago

you are welcome mr twain

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Added on March 28, 2014
Last Updated on January 24, 2015
Tags: fun humour nothing serious

Author

Woody
Woody

Mateur, Bizerte, Tunisia



About
ok, time for an update I think. my old friends have come to know me pretty well, I trust so this is for the new comers. I'm a Tunisian 60-year-old teacher-cum-translator, book worm who enjoys writing.. more..

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