What if I told you

To my son

What if I said you were mortal

And there was an end to your ride?

And that you’d walk through that portal

And be stuck on the other side?

 

What if when departing this earth

You’ll leave behind your possessions?

Does it bring you sadness or mirth

To have no answers, just questions?

 

So live your life now and be bold

Do good unto others, my son

Today Leave your mark on the world

A sure way your name will live on 

 

 

Author's Note

I'm sure as hell don't know where this came from. I'm as surprised as you are, guys.
if you could improve on the poetic side of this.. thing, I'd be much obliged.

Reviews

[Norman 223]

You have asked the question that many of us have searched for. This is why there are so many religions. They all have different solutions - some banal, some kindly and some vicious. I asked the same questions in my poem "Wholly Unholy".
You don;t need to improve on your poetic presentation, Woody. It is brief ,concise and realistically worded..

Norman

[Woody]

Norman, it must be lack of confidence but I can never admit to myself thatt my poems are passable. how can I when I see wonderfully crafted verses such as the ones you bring here? ok I'm good with the rhyme but scan, rhyth, meter.... too much trouble. that's why most of my poems (such as the lymerics) are kind of "clownish".
ta very much for the review and the boost.
I agree to what you say about religions now let me go take a look at Wholly Unholy.

[Gee]

A ha,Woody the serious poet,where have you been hiding.A fine wee poem with a message to boot.Well done my friend

[Woody]

damn! I knew it. I should've posted this one under an alias. now my reputation is permanently tarnished. I'm not a serious person. d'you hear me, Gee?
ok enough silly talk. thanks a lot Gee. glad you found it good :)

[Gee]

More than good Woody.If you can write funny,and few can,then all else is easily achievable,as you have proven.Hope all is well in Tunisia

[Woody]

you're too kind, Gee.
things aren't all that good right now. the army and the special forces are doing a great job (so far) fighting terrorism. it's the economic side that's worrying. we're keeping our fingers crossed.

[Gee]

Well I'll cross mine for you all.If push comes to shove you can come and live in my shed,in fact,I'll buy a new one.Seriously I hope it all pans out for the next.

[Gee]

Next !!!!! best

[Woody]

thank you my friend. oh how I'd love tto visit the States!

[Gee]

Lol,well"have a nice day Woody"

[Woody]

without the shadow of a doubt :)

[Samuel Dickens]

For my part, there's no improvement needed, as this is a fine poem, Woody, and conveys a brilliant, wise message. Write on, my poet friend.

[Woody]

why thank you my friend. I won't keep harping on the same thing, only that you and I are very much alike. well, I'll keep on trying, if it kills me.

[mou]

really beautiful..true not frame but name through it's work exists forever..

[Woody]

thanks a lot mou for your appreciation. glad you liked it.

[mou]

it's my pleasure..

[Troy Henson]

Ummm was this really yours haha

Really like this. It has so much truth to it woody. Its a walk on reality's side of the freeway. Mortals we are so be careful of your next step and as my book says 'Choose Our Walk Carefully, Our Steps Are Numbered'

Thank you for this one mate

[Woody]

thank you very much Troy. you know me pretty well by now. these "serious writes" are quite sporadic. I believe that the adult in me is trying his damndest to assert his presence while the real me is struggling to keep him at bay.
our steps are numbered, that's for sure.

[Insight "MH"]

Leaving everything behind for sure, but the legacy of good deeds will stay forever. This poem is wonderful, thank you for sharing it.

[Woody]

and thank YOU for stopping to read it, Insight. this is one of my very few attempts at poetry.
glad you liked it.

[Insight "MH"]

You are welcome "Habibi" ^_^

[Woody]

haha that's a surprise!!!!

[Insight "MH"]

Yes, I am Arab. :)

[Woody]

where from?

[Insight "MH"]

Saudi, more surprising XO

[Woody]

not at all. ahlan bil akh :)

[Insight "MH"]

Ahaln beek

[wolfshrew]

I catch myself thinking of it so often that I can become paralyzed.
I just gotta keep the practice of movement up, I think.
Nice work, I'll go on and think more of my mortality and tiny life.

[Woody]

thank you very much wolfshrew. and no, I don't agree. yours is not a tiny life. you must have achieved a lot in your 24 (?) years. be positive. you have to value your life :)

[...]

I love it, Woody! It's rich in meaning and beautifully poet :) And you said you wasn't a poet Ha!

[...]

Eeer um I meant beautifully poetic...lol my brain is lagging thought I typed poetic til I read it haha

[Woody]

I'll say thank you, lady-under-the-waterfall though I know you're trying to boost my confidence in myself. keep at it and you may make an honest poet out of me.

[...]

But I'm not, Woody...I really like it! It's a beautiful poem, period :)

[Woody]

I'm truly flattered. did I say you were a sweet lady?

[Gaurav]

There surely is nothing to improve in this because those words are written from heart. An insight into the real nature of life and a gradual progression towards the death - it is what this is piece is all about. Great work here.

[Woody]

thanks loads Gaurav. glad to know you found it holds water. I'm no poet, you know. I try my hand at verse now and then.

[Nisreen]

Nothing places all in perspective
like examining the divide between the world we live in
and the one we will live onto
To make the soul behave and be good in all its actions

i find such depth in your words

[Woody]

indeed, RiverSided. thanks a bunch for the review and the compliment. glad this appealed to you.

[Roland Petrov]

As a matter of fact, I did know; apparently, many people don't. To answer your question, it brings mirth (especially with a glass in hand and a bottle by my side). To improve the poetry, I'd start with syllable count. Yours is all over the place. Try rewriting so that each line is 8 syllables; I think you'll like the result. This poem is a nice philosophical observation, and it's fun while making a serious point. Thanks for the reminder.

[Woody]

all over the place, that it is! I like that. I'll see if I can improve on that.
yeah Woody's waxing philosophical, huh.
thank you Roland. I'll need a lot of beer to help me along.

[Woody]

now each line is exactly 8 syllables long. any better?

[Roland Petrov]

Oh my, Woody! You did great! It reads very smoothly now; I'd say as smooth as 12 year old scotch.

[Woody]

hahaha thanks a lot my friend. I owe you. next time you're in Tunisia, I'll buy you a drink. not sure I can find something older than 5 years, though.