Diet

the site seems to have messed up with this poem so I'm reposting

This is the story of Hugh Mongusbum

A free spirit and a wonderful mate

Kind and generous as a rule of thumb

Though he’s a little bit overweight

 

He’s wife doesn’t enjoy sex anymore

His gut is to blame, his weight an ordeal

Not on the bed, not even on the floor

In his shoes, imagine how you’d feel

 

He exercised daily, went to the gym

Worked out ‘n pumped iron n’ used the treadmill

Hoping that one day he will become slim

But fat and flabby he remained still

 

The nutritionist saw the problem straight away

So he suggested: “why don’t you diet?”

In Hugh’s face joy took the place of dismay

He said: “which colour d’you think she’ll like it?”

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Norman 223]

Loved the eponymous name of the owner of the abominable abdominals , together with the colourful finale. You certainly know how to bring out the worst in your character and the belly laughs (sorry, no pun intended) for your readers. Thanks,Woody, for being my favourite sit down comedien.

Norm

[Woody]

hahaha sit down is right. boy I'm so glad you spotted the name, Norm. I had to point it out to some reviewers.
thanks a lot my friend. such a joy to know it made you laugh.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

Ah! sir, this one moved me a lot. Your tone is amusing and extremely engaging. The man- the overweight man- whose spouse, um, you know what. And, he tries to solve the perplexed problem. He does everything in his power, but in vain. The end is pretty amazing. Beautifully written, keep writing.

[Woody]

thank you very much Vatsal for your kind words. glad you enjoyed it.

[Country boy183798]

I really enjoyed the two stories that I read from you and so I thought to drop by and read one of your poems and honestly mate, this is great! Great choice words, cleverly written, it's funny and sorta sad at the same time. A wonderful job once again. Well done!

[Woody]

aah this is my true self. I truly enjoy myself more when I write funny pieces.
thank you Edmund. you're too kind.

[forgotten_ghosts]

Very funny! Even though it took me a while to get the joke..

[Woody]

thank you so much my friend. glad you got it in the end. always look for puns in my writes. love ply on words.

[Woody]

play, obviously :)

[Davidgeo]

I was entertained...

Not a fan of the rhyming but you forced me to enjoy it.

Do you still look pregnant?

[Woody]

hahahaha you are quite a character, Hans. tell you the truth I was dreading your visit. I saw some of your reviews and was mystified by your unwarranted agressiveness sometimes.
here, you start by a little praise (you forced me to enjoy it) and BAM! "do you still look pregnant?"
look Hanz, I'm no poet. in fact I suck at poetry. I tried my hand at some funny stuff, limericks and things like that. and I'm partial to rhymes. I mostly write short stories. all in the humour genre. nothing deep. hardly any lessons to be found there. I like a good laugh and enjoy making people laugh. I may or may not succeed and my excuse is that English is not my mother tongue.
to answer your question, no I don't look very pregnant. just a little bump :)
thanks a lot for stopping to read and review.

[Davidgeo]

If your mystified then you have no reason to use the word unwarranted... if you knew that to be true you would not be so mystified.

"dreading you visit"
this place isn't that serious.... don't be scared.

[Woody]

ok gotcha Hans. no harm done.

[Woody]

I have yet to review you. I skimmed a few of your writes and boy they're not for ordinary people.read moreI have yet to review you. I skimmed a few of your writes and boy they're not for ordinary people.
but 'll do my best.

[Davidgeo]

You do not need to review me, I don't consider this a quid pro quo type of thing. I'd rather you didn't feel obligated to do so, forced reviews full of cliché pleasantries anger me greatly.

[Woody]

I understand and totally agree. but I honestly want to. call me old fashioned but as the site says, I need to return the love. and I won't sound "cliche". promise.

[Lydia Shutter]

Giggling here....dye it like an Easter egg! I know you don't write poetry often, Woody, but when you do, it tickles me. Love the humor and the rhyming. Very good. Lydi**

[Woody]

haha like an Easter egg? with stripes all around? some suggested green or blue but this one's the best. thank you so much Lydia. when a real poet praises my silly attempts, I'm in the moon.

[Relic's Bare Trees]

LOL, it took me a minute to get it. This is a good humorous poem, I like it.

[Woody]

thanks loads Rain :) so glad it made you laugh.
thanks for stopping by.

[barleygirl]

This is your best "twist" that I've read of your stuff so far! Love it! But I was so engrossed in your descriptions of exercise vs diet, I wasn't even thinking ahead to any possible twist coming from the twist-master. In my younger days, I could go with exercise only, eating mostly what I pleased. But that doesn't work so well as we age! *smile*

[barleygirl]

I forgot to mention . . . this might be your best crazy-name wordsmithing I've read so far: "Hugh Mongusbum"

[Woody]

the twist and the name which seems to have eluded some. Not quite obvious, I'm sure.
I'm mighty flattered by your words. as for your wnting to lose weight, *sigh* I envy you.
thank you for reading and commenting, Dear.

[alanwgraham]

Good Woody! The pun on diet in the last verse is very funny. I have great fun writing limericks - I will post a selection for you to have a look at. In verse 2 I'm a bit puzzled about your use of 'he's' - shouldn't it be his?
Keep up the good work!
Alan

[Woody]

ta very much my friend. yes I guess the best thing is the pun on diet and the name.
of course it is his. stupid mistake. should've read before posting. I hate that kind of mistakes in others.
I've always loved limericks. I'd like very much to read yours. I've posted a few myself.

[...]

Hugh Mungusbum! hahahahaha You are hilarious...and adorable :)

[Woody]

and you are so sweet. thanks heaps Lynn :))))

[boblakin]

Great little take on a joke as old as the hills Woody. You have a natural talent and always I leave your page chuckling.

How about pink with blue spots?

[Woody]

haha trying to picture that. pink. blue spots that turn red when..nah let's not get into specifics. yes she might like it.
so glad you enjoyed the story of Humongus.. I mean Hugh Mongusbum.
thanks a lot for dropping in Bob.