White Chapel

White Chapel

A Story by Woody
"

The Dobsons are buying a country house. That's all there is to it.

"

The weather forecast had predicted rain and foul weather. So far, only a handful of little fluffy white lambs were gambolling in a bright blue sky, watched over by a cheeky November sun.


The Dobsons had just finished their visit of the country house they intended to buy. Father Mc Kenzie, who’d picked up the rice in the church where a wedding had been, had shown them around and delighted in their gleeful excitement. It turned out to be more than their dream house. Everything was just perfect. It had taste and class with an eye for comfort. Father Mc Kenzie, who’d darned his socks for the occasion, was selling it furnished and Jim Dobson and his wife Janey did not intend to change a thing. Their bedroom and that of the twins both had picture windows that overlooked the driveway and a manicured garden. The parents’ was soft blue and the girls’ pink. The kitchen was any housewife’s dream. Janey could not stop drooling over the cooker range, the hanging pots, the cabinets and the island. The sitting room was equipped with a huge fireplace and the couch and armchairs looked comfy enough. On the wall, there was a large painting of a ship, sailing to sea with a lone seagull riding on a thermal.

                     

                                 **************************************


“I can’t believe our luck, darling,” said Janey with a big smile. 


The twins were sitting in the back playing 'I spy with my little eye'.


“It sure is a stroke of luck, honey. Steep price, though. But it’s well worth it.”


“S**t!” exclaimed Janey.            


“Muuum! Language,” admonished Lily, the cheekier of the two girls while her sister Emmy was giggling behind her hands. (or is it the other way round? Damn, they look so much alike)


“Sorry sweetheart.”


“What is it?” enquired Jim with a raised eyebrow. 


He shifted gear and followed a bend in the road.


“We saw the bathroom, right?”


“Yes, gorgeous, wasn’t it?”


“I know, but I didn’t see any toilet seat. Did you?”


“Blimey! You’re right. It must be in a separate part and father Mc Kenzie forgot to show it to us.”


“Yes, I’m sure, but I’m annoyed that it has slipped his mind.”


“Not to worry. We’ll write him a quick mail and ask where it is.”

 

Back home, Janey logged on and wrote:


Dear Father Mc Kenzie,


Thank you very much again for showing us around today. However, and I’m sure it was an oversight on your part, we didn’t see the WC. Could you please tell us where it is?


Thanking you in advance,

Yours truly


J & J Dobson

 

On reading the Email, Father Mc Kenzie, not familiar with the abbreviation WC that stood for water closet, took it to mean White Chapel, the church where he preached. He wrote back:


Dear Mr. and Mrs Dobson,


I thank you for your enquiry and am glad you asked about the place of your interest. 


The WC is located roughly about 3 miles away from the house, which can be awkward if you intend to go there on foot. It is advisable that you go there early to be able to find seats. I am sure you will be pleased by the cleanliness of the place and the incense filling it, to drive away the nasty smells. Children can sit next to their parents and everybody can sing in chorus. The place is astutely equipped with amplifiers so the people outside can benefit from the sounds coming out. One side is a huge glass pane so people can watch from the outside. On arrival, you will be given pieces of paper. Please, remember to give yours back on leaving so they can be used by others.


I hope my explanation is to your satisfaction. It will please me no end to watch you sitting there, using your sheets of paper and singing God’s grace.


Until we meet again,

I remain respectfully yours


Father Mc Kenzie   


© 2016 Woody



Author's Note

Woody
I'm sure you will have gathered that WC is an abbreviation of "Water Closet" which the French use a lot on their bathroom doors. I don't remeember seeing that anywhere during my stay in Scotland.

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Featured Review

Oh Woody! Oh my! The setup was a fraction laboured, if i had to pick holes, but the reply from the Father, who was no doubt wiping the dirt from his hands as he walked from ... had me really chuckling. You have a very gently humorous writing style. Delightful.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

1 Year Ago

haha thank you very much Nigel. please do pick holes. that's how I can hope to improve.
I lov.. read more
alanwgraham

1 Year Ago

This is crazy funny - you have to suspend believe and just go along with the madness. What a hoot! W.. read more
Woody

1 Year Ago

oh boy, "bogs"? I love that nickname. I agree we must have similar minds. great minds think alike? h.. read more



Reviews

Oh, my. Such miscommunication! That's a really long way to the outhouse, I mean, church, er, whatever! You've got me grinning, Woody. I don't know how I missed this one.

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

7 Months Ago

hey there Sam. lovely to see you again. I'm not around much these days.
I love quid pro quos... read more
Ha, nice one yet again Woody. I don't care how ideal the house is, there is no way I m walking three miles every time I need a good hard pray :)

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

11 Months Ago

hahaha a good hard pray!
come on Nemo, you are too capricious. think of the incence, the peop.. read more
Lorry.

11 Months Ago

You're very welcome :)
Loved this piece. Left me with a smile and a chuckle. Great pacing. Good voice. Great little story. Thank you for posting this.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

11 Months Ago

I'm so glad you enjoyed the story, Reedwrite. thanks a lot.
sorry for the late reply.
Andrew Nelson Stewart Andrew Nelson Stewart
In poetry and to find answers of who we are while walking the ephemeral road upon cracks of pain signs leading you.
Good one, Woody. You are really funny! But I did not know that you are a Beatles fan. Eleanor Rigby is one of my favourite songs! But anyway, great story!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

1 Year Ago

I am I am! I love the Beatles. an old love story. I made references in other stories, too. glad you .. read more
Loved the twists in this. When I was a kid I used to think the smell of incense was vile, particularly as I sang in the choir and always caught the full blast of it near the altar. It was a bad as a WC as far as I was concerned.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

1 Year Ago

hahahahaha I'm still laughing as I'm typing. thank you Norman (doubly).
Oh Woody! Oh my! The setup was a fraction laboured, if i had to pick holes, but the reply from the Father, who was no doubt wiping the dirt from his hands as he walked from ... had me really chuckling. You have a very gently humorous writing style. Delightful.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

1 Year Ago

haha thank you very much Nigel. please do pick holes. that's how I can hope to improve.
I lov.. read more
alanwgraham

1 Year Ago

This is crazy funny - you have to suspend believe and just go along with the madness. What a hoot! W.. read more
Woody

1 Year Ago

oh boy, "bogs"? I love that nickname. I agree we must have similar minds. great minds think alike? h.. read more
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
...
laughing...woody you are so original and generous when giving out your smiles :) I love your humor AND your creative artistry. Thank you for making me laugh!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

1 Year Ago

pardon my late reply, Dear.
the pleasure is all mine, I assure you Lynn. and you are too gene.. read more
Hi Woody, I can see your still on form, we still use W.C in parts of Ireland so I picked up on it right away...loved it.
Will

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

1 Year Ago

hi will. I nearly missed your review. thanks my friend.
I didn't see a single one when I was .. read more
i thought it was the English with water closets ... thanks for the belly laugh this morning ..its better than Carter's Little Liver Pills for a healthy day! :) there was a WC joke we told as kids but for the life of me i can not remember it ..wasn't this Father McKenzie version tho .. nice tip to the Beatles .. fine humor sir!
E.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

1 Year Ago

I plead ignorance as to Carter's thingy but thanks for the compliment E. glad this made you laugh. i.. read more
Einstein Noodle

1 Year Ago

Carter's liver pills were sold and a popular goof of teens in the 50's and 60's ;) there commercials.. read more
Writer's Cafe, water closet, white chapel, it all fits concisely in a nutshell, which is apparently you. lqtm :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Woody

1 Year Ago

haha quite right Paloma. thanks a lot for stopping in. glad you enjoyed the story. I have plenty of .. read more

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Added on July 26, 2016
Last Updated on July 26, 2016
Tags: WC, country house, oversight

Author

Woody
Woody

Mateur, Bizerte, Tunisia



About
ok, time for an update I think. my old friends have come to know me pretty well, I trust so this is for the new comers. I'm a Tunisian 60-year-old teacher-cum-translator, book worm who enjoys writing.. more..

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