Tiredness.

Weak is the world

floating around

strong is the sun

going down

Can't lift my arm

to turn on my side

I lay here uncomfortably

too weak to hide

Reviews

[Adam Adams]

love makes each & every one of us pretty tired around whether erotically or lovingly... doesn't matter. what matters the most in life is, how "enigmatic" we play love. kinda very deep. sensuous. heartfelt. and a very worth reading words you've come up with.

looking forward to reading your work!

[Enigma Monster]

Interesting take on it...in this case it was life that tired me out, perhaps the lack of love in my life. I wrote it, originally as a song years ago, about a time when I quite literally could not find the will to move, though I was uncomfortable. I'm very glad you enjoyed it:)

[Adam Adams]

lack of love? ah.. now you remind me one quote which says: "no one becomes writer with happiness". (something like that). i guess, it's not just you, but half of us youth are being abundant by the rest of the wicked and so diplomatic analogies of love-life. what we find is love is barely a glimpse of our own mind's deflection so here i guess, yeah.. your poetry "Tiredness" suits well, cos.. whether it's only youth or people of love, everyone's being swung with oscillations of life-worries being so stuck in the paradox of mind at all.

[Davidgeo]

I enjoy word economical poems.

Strong first stanza that, for me anyway, offers a nice juxtaposition with the 2nd.

First word, last line, 'to' should be 'too'

[Enigma Monster]

Crap! Thanks for pointing out the bad grammar (blush).

[Davidgeo]

It's still good writing. Don't worry. Now it's even better.

[Ana Papaya]

Love these simple short pieces that speak volumes.