Dangling There.

he left her

dangling there

bruised face

under sweaty hair

 

he left her

with no cares

he tore them out

with ruthless power

 

he didn’t shout

but she did

she did

hour after hour

 

strength of the gods

he thought he was

liberties he took

with the strength of his arms

 

marred her

scarred her

spoke cruel words to her

hour after hour

he couldn’t get enough of her

 

this is love

in its sickest form

this is hatred

and depression born

 

he left her

dangling there

when he’d had his fill

his stolen share

 

his fatal mistake

for leaving her there 

dangling but not dead

filled up her head

 

and she started to grinnnnnn

 

this is hatred

in its truest form

this is how

a murderer is born

Author's Note

Stone Temple Pilots have a song called "Sex Type Thing", which was written from the perspective of a rapist. I've always found that a very intriguing idea. So this is my little attempt at it.

Reviews

[Neal S]

I dig that song. I also enjoyed this poem. As I was reading it, it made me think of a broken relationship but about half way through I started to realize. Something isn't right here. And the ending made me smile at thinking of her taking her revenge. Nice work.

[Enigma Monster]

I'm glad you enjoyed it Neal. Ya, the end is my favorite.

[mattavelli]

Hello, Enigma! :)
I bet she is going to savor her revenge.

[Enigma Monster]

I would imagine so, yes!

[D Connolly]

creepy poem! well balanced, a story from start to finish, and meter throughout. Nice one

[Enigma Monster]

Thanks D! Glad you liked it.

[Relic]

I've been here a long time and it doesn't surprise me anymore when a woman here says she was raped. It's so common, and that's sad to say.

You brought plenty of emotion to this. I'll never understand the mentality of a guy who does this.

Great writing Enigma.

[Enigma Monster]

Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time to read this.

[barleygirl]

Having been a rape victim multiple times in my childhood, I've often wished to convey the distortion in a person's mind that allows them to do this. I think you're taking a good stab at it. Being in third person ("he") makes this feel less intense & less immediate. I find that first person ("I") is far more powerful in showing the way a very warped person sees the world. Not to say that this needs to be changed . . . just saying that someday it might be interesting to try portraying a similarly disgusting character via first person. The comment about "love" kinda jolted me, since rape has nothing to do with love, but then you went on to explain further, which helped put this into perspective. I feel you show the hatred & rage behind rape, but I also feel this could be pumped up quite a bit more by showing us how he looks, smells, feels, sounds, & tastes . . . show us that filthy ugly rage up close & personal.

[Enigma Monster]

Thank-you so much for your review. I very much appreciate your outlook on this horrible subject. Having had no first-hand experience myself I'm not surprised I bungled it in places. Also, this is the reason for less details in how he looks, smells, feels, etc...

[barleygirl]

Hey, I lived thru this for over 10 years as a kid & I'm 60 years old now . . . still haven't gotten up the courage to show the gritty details of how ugly a person like this can be. One of these days I'll dig out those wretched details. I think you did a great job for someone who is trying to imagine how it must be (((HUGS)))

[Enigma Monster]

Thanks...you got me teary. People deserve so much better.

[...]

Fierce! I love the underlying chill and that you delved into it without dressing it up...beautifully sinister!
Starz x

Ps. love STP

[Enigma Monster]

Appreciate the review bud. Thanks for reading!

[YanZeros]

So much emotions written on this poetry. Domestic violence must cease to happen. The last stanza is just frightening, guys women maybe frail but they are really scary! Your poetry growls! Enigma Monster! Lovin' it!

[Enigma Monster]

Thank-you. I can't tell you how much I love the idea of a tiny little woman rising up to destroy her tormentor, with juicy surprise all over his face. I'm glad it frightened you, my mind was growling when I wrote it.

[YanZeros]

it is! I think that feeling you should put that to writing a sequel a fight back. It is loud! you're welcome Enigma Monster! :)