Secrets

There wasn't much that I believed in,

even God keeps secrets.

So, your hiding things wasn't much sin,

dear soul, wild emotions pets.

Days pass by,

silent remains the sky.

None says nothing since ages,

maybe the business of sages.

What glory this sun hides?

Endless fuel, thus reason/suspicion rides.

You have answers, why keep quiet?

But if had known, would there be this poet?

Perhaps some logic beyond my intelligence,

little is dangerous, why did not give enough sense?

Maybe, wouldn't accept the poetry You wrote on the sky,

wouldn't find the reason legit enough to die.

You could have however, tried us one time,

perhaps different notes but similar rhyme.

- March 21, 2013

5:04 p.m

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

I really liked this, once the rhyme pattern was set. I am by no means suggesting you need to change a single word of this, but I wonder if it would flow more fluently if you tried...

"There wasn't much that I believed in,
Your hiding things wasn't much sin,
Because even God keeps secrets.
Dear soul, wild emotions pets."

It is more consistent with the rest of your poem, but I like it as is, as well ;-) Thanks for sharing it with us.

[Mehak Mushtaq]

I love the way you've put it. Thank you for making it more beautiful. :)

[KAOlmsted]

They are your words, I just jumbled them up ;-) Always my pleasure.

[Mehak Mushtaq]

:)

[Jack...]

Enticing the probes placed throughout this piece. very nice indeed.

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Thank you Jack. :)

[Akleja]

This is really good. I like the flow you have and how you leave room for thought. Nice work.

[suhayb nazyr]

dis tym 100 0ut of 10 ;)

[suhayb nazyr]

dis tym 100 0ut 0f 10 :)

[KeelyJane]

Nice. Nice. Nice. and oh so profound. Nice one my friend

[KeeD]

A suggestive and profound riddle of words posing questions that hold much truth, great job Mehak!

[quinfinn]

self effacing, i know this train of thought. you have delivered it with wickedly sharp precision and clever words. there is a great talent living within you, dear poet. nicely done!

[Zahra]

wonderful write