Dear Child

This is a poem I wrote for my friend. I tried to make it relatable to everyone. It is from God's perspective.

Dear child,

I see the way people treat you.
The way they laugh at you and make fun of you.
And I see that fake smile you have become so good at wearing to cover up the pain you are feeling.

I hear every word and every insult.
And as they cut you deeper and deeper I feel your pain.

I see all of your thoughts and I know all of your secrets.
And when you hear voices I am the small one inside you that is trying to help.

I see you and everything you go through every day.
For I am always right beside you.

I'm with you when you stand in front of the mirror.
As you hurl insults at yourself and tell yourself how ugly you are.
I'm that voice deep inside you reminding you that you are beautiful.
That you are fearfully and wonderfully made in my image.

I'm with you when you hide in your room and start cutting your body.
And let me tell you that those cuts hurt me more than they ever will you.

I'm with you when you go on the computer and start to watch porn.
I know you are doing it because you want to feel loved.
But I am that voice crying out inside you telling you that you are loved.
And I say the same thing to those girls.

I'm with you every time you get picked on and rejected at school.
I walk right beside you with my arm around your shoulder.
Because I accept you, to me you are not invisible.

I am always with you.
I see everything you go through.
I hear every insult that is said to you.
I know all of your thoughts.
And I feel all of your pain.

Dear child you have no idea how strong you are.
I wish that I could save you, but that would defeat the plans that I have for you.
For one day this mess will be a great message.

You have a long road ahead of you.
And it will be hard.
But if you rely on me for your strength you will be able to do all things.

Finally child I want you to know that I love you and I will always be here for you.
And one day this nightmare will end.

Author's Note

I'm writing this at 1 in the morning so I don't know how good it will be. Hope you like it.

Reviews

[Bowers]

Well, you must have been wide awake at one :d Talk about an inspiring and beautiful piece! (Thank you for sharing this) I felt as though you were speaking right to me, and I appreciate that because there are times when we are so broken we feel so lost and search for some way of feeling comfort, you've shown this in your piece, with heartfelt words that touched me. you have so much talent! I love your work!

[Erik Daniel]

Wow thank you so much. Means a lot to me. You too also have talent!

[Bowers]

your welcome ! :) and much thanks! :D

[wordman]

you was meant to be an inspiration to the down trodded it`s hard to help others unless you have been there and sounds like you have

[Erik Daniel]

I have been in some pretty dark places. I never thought my story could help people, but Christ does what he wants with people. All glory to him!

[wordman]

he knows exactly what he is doing and I can see his work in you

[Erik Daniel]

:) You don't know how happy that makes me to hear. Thank you so much man. :)

[wordman]

yeah, I know

[Kelly M.]

This is wonderful... it was as though I could hear God speaking that to me, and to others I know. :) Thanks for sharing His voice!!

[Erik Daniel]

Thank you so much for the amazing review!

[Erik Daniel]

I wrote kind of a sequel to this the other day called With Hate, Love, The Deceiver. You should check it out!

[Kelly M.]

Okay, I will :)

[Linda alexander]

Dear child you have no idea how strong you are.
I wish that I could save you, but that would defeat the plans that I have for you.
For one day this mess will be a great message.
Very inspiring and powerful write, great job and well done

[Erik Daniel]

Thank you so much Linda!

[Linda alexander]

You most welcome, take care

[KWP]

Here is a thought... Just a thought ... Once one starts to own their LIFE and own their CHOICES then life offers up new freedoms. Once one decides 'I wish to travel this path to find true happiness' instead of perhaps following the same old well trodden routine of every day life and you project that path to god or in my case the universe, and you mean it, like you really really mean it because it comes from the deepest recesses of your soul, then your wishes will be granted.
I have done this many times on my little path, and each day I become stronger, happier and more at pecs within myself and life itself ... x x LOVE

[Imogen.E]

This is a brilliant poem and so sad, the last line is a great finish as well, good job :)

[Erik Daniel]

Thank you so much!

[Imogen.E]

Your very welcome, God bless you :)

[Sami Khalil]

"I am always with you.
I see everything you go through.
I hear every insult that is said to you.
I know all of your thoughts.
And I feel all of your pain."

Splendid...:)...........................

[Erik Daniel]

Thank you Sami!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).......................

[Closing Thoughts]

Such a moving poem--absolutely heartbreaking. Your goal to make is relateable is completely achieved. Any Christian can understand the pain this person is going through. This piece is extremely encouraging, and reminds of of why we go through such things ("it would defeat the plans I have to you."

Critique:

"I hear every word and every insult that those people say to you."
This line is great; it is a remind that God does not ignore your pain, and He sees what your going through. Perhaps removing everything after "insult" would make this line even more powerful.

And as they cut you deeper and deeper I also feel the pain.
Consider getting rid of the word "also", and changing "the" the your, in order to give this line more impact.

I see all of your thoughts and I know all your secrets.
Perhaps adding "of" after "all" will help this line flow smoother.

And when you hear voices I am the small one inside you that is trying to help you.
This line is a great allusion to Elijah! Marvelously done! Perhaps cutting the work 'you' at the end, since it's not really needed.



As you hurl insults at yourself and tell yourself how ugly you are.
I like the transition here. Not only can we be attacked by others, but we are attacked by ourselves.

I'm that voice deep inside you reminding you that you are beautiful.
That you are fearfully and wonderfully made in my image.


I know you are doing it because you want to feel loved and I am that voice crying out inside you telling you that you are loved.
This is another powerful line, as it shows the mercy and tenderkindness of God. Perhaps breaking it up a bit will smooth things out. Maybe end the sentence after "feel loved". Then, starting with a new line, have "But I am that voice, crying out inside of you, telling your that you are loved."

And I say the same thing to those girls.
This line gave me chills. Perfect.



But if you rely on me for your strength you will be able to do all things through me.
Consider cutting "through me" here. It's not really necessary because of the 'rely on me'.


Overall: Sorry this is a bit of a sloppy review. I really hope I was able to help. I'm extremely impressed at your skill, even when you write so late (or... so early?). Basically, it's just minor editing that could really strengthen this poem. But the message leaves a lasting impact and it is executed beautifully.

[Erik Daniel]

Wow. This is the best review I have ever gotten! Thank you for all the helpful tips! Means a lot!

[Closing Thoughts]

No problem! I'll be more than happy to look at any of your work! I really love to critique work, especially when the writing I'm reviewing is something I'm passionate about. It's a pleasure.

[Erik Daniel]

I love for you to review more of my writing!

[RichGee]

Wow Erik...very inspirational piece...so much truth in these words...
You always keep it real...well written bro...and to think you did this at 1:00am...
Great work brother.

[Erik Daniel]

Thank you so much Rich!

[RichGee]

Always my pleasure bro...

[Stephen]

Mostly, me too write pieces in late nights when the world goes to in deep sleep. To me, this poem's very good even though you kept the concept of reality on your creative mind at the time of penning the poem n which's what made the poem "Non-Fiction!" That's an excellent job!

Yeah, I like it! The length of this write's great! It's written from "God's perspective" point of view as you mentioned so, i'd say, "it's totally a real poem!" Because everything you penned into the poem's real n much appreciable. Good one!

[Erik Daniel]

Thank you so much Stephen!