Drowning

Lost in a moment that is pulling you under. You find yourself unable to breathe and unable to resurface.

Drowning in a sea of song,

anchored down by my heavey heart.

And to this tune, the waves sing along,

sing of despair and falling stars.

 

Hoplessly sinking to the ocean's floor

and my memories beguin to dance,

before they run away forever more.

I watch as my life beguins to pass.

 

Forgetting to breathe, so easy to do

but remembering love is a such a chore.

Selfishly, i wouldn't swim back to you

as you wait for me upon the shore.

 

Dare I remain your sunken treasure?

A life, and a love lost at sea.

The distance to the surface too vast to measure.

The connection to your heart too faded to see.

 

Drowning in a scenic memory:

an ocean of tears pulling me down.

I will die before I say I'm sorry

I will submerge before I come back around

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think through good and critical reviews. Thank You :)

Reviews

[S. Michael Long]

Drowning in a sea of song, -nice entrance

anchored down by my heavey- (heavy) heart.

And to this tune, the waves sing along,

sing of despair and falling stars. - (this seems cliche' to me, because i have read your other poems, this could be good or bad, but falling stars, means something to you that the readers don't understand, its something important that keeps coming up in all of your poems, and we as readers what to know what it means to you.)



Hoplessly sinking to the ocean's floor

and my memories beguin -(begin) to dance,

before they run away forever more. -ahhh poe nomenclature (: i loved this line! well never more,, but the same idea on the positive side (:

I watch as my life beguins* pass.



Forgetting to breathe, so easy to do

but remembering love is a such a chore. - why is it a chore to you i mean what makes it a chore in your situation add more here)

Selfishly, i wouldn't swim back to you - if the love was a chore why was it selfish? there is something you arent telling us..

as you wait for me upon the shore.



Dare I remain your sunken treasure? -there it is.. lol (:

A life, and a love lost at sea.

The distance to the surface too vast to measure.

The connection to your heart too faded to see.



Drowning in a scenic memory:

an ocean of tears pulling me down.

I will die before I say I'm sorry

I will submerge before I come back around

again, really nice work! keep it up! i love when you post new poems!!! -s

[Eagle Cruagh]

Your writing is a true gift.
Treasure it and you will be rewarded.
I love your style and technique..
You are very good.
Some time I will discuss your philosophy.
----- John

[Eagle Cruagh]

I`m not good at editorial comments, but
you can depend on my philosophical bent.
Remember this:
"Your mind creates the world"----Buddba.
Think about what that means.
We can all be happy, just "choose" to think
about the things that please you.

Sohave to leave this space, the computer is screwing up
Sorry.

[Distant horizons]

yeah, feel the emotions run through this. yet again, wonderfully done with great flow and style.
Drowning in a scenic memory. Beautiful

[Antonio Valentino]

they just keep getting better.. i can see some real talent here my friend.. keep it up.. this was great!

:)

[Chris]

Memorable...

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the use of the ocean to strengthen the emotion of the poem. The sea is like the desire of love. Hard to control and powerful. I like the description in the poem.
"Forgetting to breathe, so easy to do
but remembering love is a such a chore."
A strong ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote