Moods

sit there, arms folded about your knees

sit there and sulk

and still you are beautiful even when your mood

settles on your face like bad makeup

your glances dance with the fire of your anger

and your tongue spews threats and accusations

but your beauty shields me from all harm

and i find wonder even in your wrath

 

cry. . . . blackmail me with tears knowing my heart

is your ransom already paid

advertise your disappointment with a trembling lip

and sniff your sadness with jerky breaths

you will soon want refuge in my arms

and rest your head on my shoulder asking for promises

then there will be crumpled sheets and anguished gasps

as you lock me within your legs and lift your eyes to god

 

pout . . . .  no offense is greater than one against you

you know you seduce with a look over your shoulder

you use your beauty as a weapon and you invade at will

if i refuse, countless hearts are waiting for you to happen in

come, let us pretend again that all is well

and you can move upon me with clenched teeth

and whimper before you collapse upon my chest and lie about love

and i can believe it again and cherish a hope about someday

Reviews

[Tex]

I loved this.

Having dyslexia and having given up on learning in school I can not speak to construct, but I can speak to honesty, truth, the emotion the piece brings to the fore for me. It is all there.

The layers of dysfunction in this are fascinating. In my mind I see a man older than his lover, somewhat chauvinistic, dealing with his lover in a somewhat condescending way. But before we get a chance to feel sorry for her we learn that she is manipulative and uses her charms to get what she needs from the relationship. The two dance their dysfunctional dance in perfect step, it is a dance they have created and they know the steps well. All the same the lingering doubt remains, the truth can not be avoided. They are pretending. He is hoping, we get a sense of longing for honesty and something more authentic. We are left to wonder, is she playing him or does she feel the same? And, would he change the steps to this dance if given the opportunity?

Wonderful. Just pulls you right in.

If this is who you are... then how painful it must have been for you to review my poem. Thank you for being so nice about it.

[DrD]

Nicholas, I have become calloused to difficult things because yes, this is who I am. I am also very grateful for your marvelous review and insights.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was a great write and one I think many a male might relate to. For some reason I was hearing Bob Dylan singing Tangled Up In Blue as I read it...well, I once loved a girl named Blue. Sadly, she is dead now but I have memories this poem may have evoked. Certainly Dylan's song does. I remember John Wayne saying to Lauren Becall in The Shootist, "You have a nice color about you when you're on the scrap" And really, who wants a woman without a mind of her own and strong opinions? I certainly would not. I like intelligent, witty and beautiful women who are strong and elegant. I don't ask for much eh? Probably why I'm still a bachelor!

[DrD]

Thank you for the wonderful review, Fabian. I never thought about the kind of woman I wanted. I just wanted to be the kind of man a woman would want. Maybe I didn't do such a great job of that.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I just want to be the type of man that "I" love and respect. Everything else is secondary to that. If I don't appeal to others I'm fine with that so long as I stay true to myself. Besides, as Waylon Jennings once said, "Any man who understands women is one." I don't think Ol Hoss meant a "man" either. (laughing) My mother read me a poem by Rudyard Kipling as a child entitled "IF" and I have it framed with my dead mother's picture. It helps remind me of what is really important. Integrity, honor, courage, beauty, compassion, faith...and all the worthy things that make a well rounded human being. It's cutting all the unnecessary baggage loose that is difficult. Nelson DeMille said, "The older we get, the more baggage we have to carry around and the less able we are to lift it." I love that line.

[DrD]

With your attitude, I doubt that you will be a bachelor too much longer. Many a woman is seeking a heart like yours to happen in.

[Sheila Kline]

Commands from a lover already ensnared by the power of the woman who obviously has domain over his body, heart and soul is expressed with skill as he bids her to "sit there, cry, pout" even with knowledge that she turns the minute hand on their clock of love back to high noon with each attempt he makes to be out of her power....if that is what he wants, but I rather think he enjoys being under her spell.
This is the first poem of yours I have reviewed (came across your name when reviewing a fellow poet's poetry) and I am impressed with your ability to express this form of subtle domination - the cat and mouse interplay. She knows exactly what she is doing, and he obviously loves it and wants more of it!!
Form is excellent as well as subject description!!

[DrD]

Thank you, Sheila. I appreciate your visit and hope you return soon.

[Sheila Kline]

You are most welcome!! I shall be back to sample some more of the trinkets in your treasure chest of writing!! And, I invite you to stop by and read one of my humble writes. My latest posting, "Christmas Eve Vows of Loves" was inspired by my parent's marriage on Christmas Eve so many years ago.

[Natasha]

You have a wonderful way with words! This poem danced with great imagery and flow.

" blackmail me with tears knowing my heart is your ransom already paid" would probably be one of my favorite lines.

I feel as if you would be a great story teller and author. (Now that I look to the side it says you have written books)

I commend you on such good writing!!

[DrD]

Thank you for visiting here, Natasha and I hope you return soon.

[Natasha]

Will do so definitely !

[Robin]

It takes a lot of living to express words like these . Live on, love on .

[DrD]

I appreciate your visit and kind words, Robin

[Emily B]

wonderful to meet you

[DrD]

Good to have you here, Emily

[Beccy]

With these lines, you perfectly articulate that which is often left unsaid in a relationship. I found it both fascinating and insightful.

Beccy.

[DrD]

Thank you, Beccy. I appreciate your visit.

[Richard Man]

This is a delicate yet powerful observation of the sincerity of a true relationship. Games played where both really know the rules of "Blind man's bluff" or "buff".
I like, especially, the "Make up" and "beauty" images and generally you make good use of assonance and metre to give the impression that you both understand the situation and the rhythm of the dance.

[DrD]

Thanks for your astute comments, Richard. You are always welcome here.

[Baby Ricochet]

I job DrD

[Horizon K.]

Wow this was really incredible! You painted the picture of this woman so clearly and how she is able to use her beauty and sexuality to get away with her bad attitude. I love the line " your mood settles on your face like bad makeup"... So visual!

[DrD]

Thank you, Horizon, for you visit and I'm glad to have you as a friend

[Horizon K.]

My pleasure & I look forward to reading more if your work :)

[Damien Davison]

I can't believe I haven't found this yet, this is wonderful. Such a great display of emotion. I wanted to read it again.
"and i find wonder even in your wrath"
Amazing write, great job!

[DrD]

You're always welcome here and I'm happy that you enjoy my work.

[Damien Davison]

I appreciate that. And it's easily enjoyable!