Too much to ask

about the second poem I every wrote. it needs some work.

Too Much To Ask

 

 

 

Is it too much to ask,

To have someone there to warm me when I’m cold

Both from the weather and my own suicidal thoughts.

Is it too much to ask,

To have someone to lie with at night

Like a serpentine in a dancers nest.

Is it too much to ask,

To have someone care for me

Without asking for what I am not ready to give both

Mentally and physically.

Is it to much to ask,

To have someone keep their interest in me

 And not become bored and move on.

Is it too much to ask,

To have someone love me for who I am

And not who they want me to be.

Is it to much to ask,

To know what love feels like without the pain

            And burning that consumes me so now.

Is it too much to ask,

To be happy for once.

 

Author's Note

please comment good or bad I want them!

Reviews

[Helena]

Interesting the way you set this out, but I agree somewhat with
Reaper, it would have more "flow" to it if you did what he suggested.
But there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you wrote this. I felt this to be a
wistful and sad poem. I guess we have all felt like this at times!

Thank you for submitting this to my contest! ~ Helena

[paparapapa]

I liked it! This poem is very relatable, and you couldn't have said it better. ;) Well done.

[-WolfReaper (NERV)]

Is it to much to ask? no, i don't think so but in some cases it is. Well done Eylonbear.
I think if you shortened the lines it could read/look better. Let me give an example.
"Is it too much to ask to have someone there to warm me?
when I'm cold both from the weather
and my own suicidal thoughts?"