1st Day of Spring

The front porch
needs a new coat of paint.
Red from years gone by
fading, folding
into gray underneath.

A bottle in a brown paper bag
sweats on a scalloped glass table top.

Field sparrows
on green boxelder branches
chatter near rusty gutters
that span the length of the front porch.

The afternoon sun
rests against your head
creating a pre-dusk halo
defining renegade strands of hair
that drift just above
the beauty of your face.

I gaze in amazement
at what I am blessed
to behold.

You pass the bottle
in a paper bag
and say,
“what do you want to do tonight?”
not understanding
the gravity
of the moment
at all.

Reviews

[saphy]

even the smallest moments have the ability to be cherished memories. I love this but it begs the question, within my own personal thoughts at least......why the brown paper bag? I think one needs to know the circumstances to appreciate the gesture or the sentiment in its entirety...alas though, it needs to be fitting and I don't think it needs to be relayed within this piece....maybe another?

saphy (x)

[D Alan Johnstone]

Hey Saphy! Thank you for the kind words! The bag has little relevance other than a visual descriptor of cheap liquor, wine, or beer. I suppose this could be innately American, I'm not sure. While writing, it was just another adjective. I'll take another look to see if I put too much emphasis on that.

[saphy]

you are more than welcome - it may well just be lost in translation lol so I wouldnt concern yourself too much with my incoherent ramblings - it was a capturing piece completely and quite possibly why I yearned to understand its proper content. we have similarities here in the context you emphasised upon...alcohol in a brown paper bag, one would represent with cheapness, brashness or trampish/homelessness. I hope this explains my thought process in some regard and I look forward to reading much more of the same

saphy (x)

[D Alan Johnstone]

Yes! ...this poem romanticizes that "cheapness" or potential simplicity of life. Love and beauty can transcend the faded porch, the rusty gutters, and the bottle in a paper bag.

[Tina Louise UK]

Wonderful imagery, enjoyed :) x

[D Alan Johnstone]

Thank You, Tina!

[alanwgraham]

I really liked the great sense of place and atmosphere you have deftly painted with some excellent images. Describing the small details, the sparrows,the guttering etc is the way to make the big picture real. You've hinted at events still to unfold with old letting us in on it which is good.
Regards,
Alan

[Kelly Scheppers]

The front porch and the field sparrows were given in striking details, as was the afternoon sun that defined renegade strands of hair. You are inviting to read!

[Alexa Apothic Red]

Also the juxtaposition between her beauty and the serenity of the moment combined with the rusty gutters, faded porch paint and brown paper bag was brilliant! I love that in the small things and simple things, there can be so much beauty.

[D Alan Johnstone]

Thank you, Alexa! I'm humbled by your kind words. I enjoy hearing what you draw from the images I've given. I like that you find details that I hadn't even considered. In my mind, what the narrator is experiencing is akin to jumping into a cold pool on a hot day. The shock of the moment, eyes dilate and breathing thins, gasping for air, trying to compensate for the trauma of the moment, of her beauty, and the casual nature of her conversation. She is just being herself, and he is overwhelmed by her beauty in this moment.

[Alexa Apothic Red]

Great writing allows readers to contribute to the conversation of the piece as if it were its own living, breathing entity.. great writing can bear so many different meanings and themes based on new perspectives that play into the content. I think it's a pleasant surprise to know that others can draw a new meaning that you as the author hadn't even considered.

[Alexa Apothic Red]

This is a descriptively rich tribute to the simplicity of the splendor of just being still outdoors. I love that every sense is satiated.. but it's more than that... the last lines truly grabbed me.. her not understanding the gravity of what was taking place.. asking what you want to do. It's clear that you were already doing everything you wanted to do that night.. but also hints that the beauty you beheld could lead to more. The mystery of the hint intrigues the reader. Maybe she was asking for something more "activity-driven" but missing the fact that that moment was already full and spilling over of sheer bliss in the unspoken. Wow, love those moments-thank you for capturing it!

[Dara]

I just love your style! Very poignant and celebrates even those 'small' moments in time.

[D Alan Johnstone]

Thank you!

[R.E. Ray]

Your words transported me in time, back to a place I remember well; my bucolic country farmhouse, fields flanking, a flaking painted house attached to my porch. Beautiful imagery and a deeper peace. Nice work.

[D Alan Johnstone]

Thanks Robert!