Dead rhymes

I wanted to write a poem about life,

but heavy thoughts bridled my letters,

there's hours passing by, and i just don't got any word,

just a mute poet's inspiration.

I'm just writing rhymes and say nothing,

i'm checking every word for a hundred times,

and there's plenty of place on the paper.

With a trembling hand i'm stacking the dead rhymes.

Go away you rhymes, which are adorned with gap,

i said all i had to say,

silence swallowed me who's woven into the pen,

i'm not writing a verse bigger than the life.

Reviews

[Raven Starhawk]

I think I have read this close to ten times and still am unsure how to process all these racing thoughts. I can relate. That is what I need to say because it is so true. Sometimes poetry is dead to me and then again so is writing in general. It is like some people expect too much. And when you don't deliver what they are looking for it is like you lost a friend. I may not make much sense but I am in this state right now where writing is a frustrating task.

[Blindfolded]

I can definitely relate to this. You sometimes expect too much from yourself or people expect too much from you. I think it's best to enjoy writing for yourself only. The reviews are nice but aren't the reason you should write.

[MOON]

Lovely write , pages blank or unable to find the right word or sentence that speaks .

[rosemary keogh]

yeah i can relate to this. great poem

[BLBrown]

Good effort. I love the line, "With a trembling hand i'm stacking the dead rhymes." Very clever.

I do think that sometimes being overly obtuse can cause the poem its readability...the ability of the reader to find meaning. If that's what you are going for then this gets you there. Otherwise, just for general consideration, I would go back through and make sure you have enough concrete to convey meaning without losing the flow and naturalness of it.

Good effort. Keep writing!!

[Orlando Furioso]

I think life exists but for us to write about it verse being bigger than life. Life's nothspecial in its selfish greed to be, but verse, them rhymes, why they be something vereeeee special, something outside our little lives, something that graces our little lives with wonder. Life is less than nothing without verse. And verse is nothing without them wondrous rhymes which have a life of their own beyond ours little lives which are sooooo limited by our senses.

[0AudreyClaire0]

I love this poem. It's so relatable! Great job. :)
-Aud

[Monica]

I think we all feel like this at one time or another...

I wanted to write a poem about life,
but heavy thoughts bridled my letters,
there's hours passing by, and i just don't got any word,
just a mute poet's inspiration.

...These few lines express perfectly, a poet's frustration.
Good job! I like it, it's well written :)

[Sabrina Fowl]

I really know it is like to be like this. Writing may be my passion, but that does not mean I can write stuff with the snap of my fingers. It takes Time, imagination, and a little bit of sweat to get something worth it down on paper, and when you don't want it to rhyme, that is even harder.
A poem about Writer's Block. Very Creative.

[Tomislav Petricevic]

I ja se tako nekada osjećam, najčešće kada pokušavam "prisilno" napisati pjesmu tj. kada samo sjednem i trudim se napisati neke stihove. Zato inače pišem samo kada mi dođe inspiracija ili mi se stihovi sami pojave u glavi XD
Što se tiče same pjesme, obavila si dobar posao obrađivanja teme, i opet su me tvoji određeni izrazi zadivili! :D Prilično sam siguran da dosta amerikanaca & engleza čije sam pjesme čitao ne pišu tako, nego samo koriste neke jednostavne izraze XD

[bluessadmood]

how you said it all and so well..
lots of things to say and tell,only this life and its burden like a rock
shatter the mind and scatter all thoughts,funny but times when
the worries is too much it bring some strong currents of black thoughts
then their color changes to many and clouds fade to a strong light
in a mind that one thinks would never run again,life has many funny ways
if you know the way how to deal with it,its like a game you play to live
love your thoughts
lovely write..