Walking down the river

I was writing this about 5 hours(one hour each day).... please just criticize a little bit! Thanks.. (:

Walking down the river.

A restless, nervous walk

on the lonely path.

My thoughts are sleeping peacefully

on the leaden clouds.

I look, but i don't see.

Silver mist is rolling down

from the twilight of lost hopes.

I listen, but i can't hear.

Silence is resounding dully,

in this foggy night.

Moon jumps on the sky,

illuminating my path,

neither silver nor yellow.

Monotonous shadows are swimming down the river,

yellow river among the bare branches.

Proud poplar is whispering about life,

like it's alone in the middle of universe.

A lie lives in the heart of my word,

Only silence can heal my pain.

I'm forgetting all my problems,

i close my eyes and see nothing,

just nothing at all.

Reviews

[The White Wolf]

I often go to nature when I have these same types of feelings. I find the quiet solitude to be calming when the noise of the world becomes to much to handle. I can understand these words so well. There is nothing better at times than to just close your eyes and see nothing.

[CarlyRhymes]

I love this, and love how it can easily be related to life. The words you used fit perfectly, and all of it together was beautiful. wonderful.

[Legolas]

You have such a great talent. This poem is so peaceful and instills a sense of peace in my heart. Thank you for this masterpiece!!!

[Shy Girl]

OMGosh!!! :) I love this piece. I say that often and I mean it every time. Rivers are a wonder...just like the ocean. You can become lost in their currents and patterns of wave sets...so lost infact that you forget everything and only hear that of the water and it's beauty. Only that exists in your mind and or soul. This was a wonderful piece and to be able to relate is something special for me... :)

[Coyote Poetry]

"Only silence can heal my pain.
I'm forgetting all my problems,"
Good to have time to walk a quiet path and place. Allow us to think and ponder our life. I did like the ending to the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Allen Smuckler]

Welcome Leighton...and well done
beautifully written and crafted...My only regret is that i can't hear or understand the Croatiian version of this wonderful write.
Excellent use of metaphors and images.
allen

[Brittany]

Lovely and dreamy and beautiful.

[P.J.]

emotionally pregnant and a I believe will hit a note with many. Really enjoyed this and felt absorbed by it.

[bluessadmood]

but this is truly lovely..how you weave thoughts and words
such dreamy way ,,i wish you write on and on ,and diversify
write everything and everyone..i know its a way you will pass it
so many lovely images here...restless nervous walk
while thoughts sleeps,its mist coming down so i never see
moon just try to help show me so many dull shadows
all just the same,dull and never lively..just great ..all
lovely write..