Strawberry Ice Cream

This is for the Amorous-Unrequited-Passionate contest. I did this in about an hour and I don't feel it's my best but please, enjoy anyway.

 

   “Isn’t this cute?” Natalie says turning to me and repeating the same three words I’ve been hearing at least a thousand times today.

 

 I suck in my breath, which I do anytime her bright peridot colored eyes are locked on mine. “Beautiful. Can we go now?”

 

 She smiles her mega-watt grin and swats me playfully, which sends chills up and down my spine. “I told you that we can’t go until I found a dress for my date with Danny.”

 

 I can feel my smile evaporating and a cold dark feeling taking over. Why does she have to bring that living scum up every time something is going well?

 

 Natalie never misses a trick. “I don’t see why you don’t like him, he’s so sweet!”

 

 I wanted to tell her so much. I wanted to tell her that Danny was a jerk. That he cheats on her and is just using her, I wanted to tell her that I loved her, but I couldn’t.

 

 My head snaps back into reality. “I like him…” I mumble not even fooling myself.

 

 Natalie enters a dressing room and comes out a few minutes later wearing a silvery-white sequined number. “How do I look?”

 

“Like God’s gift.” I reply meaning every word of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 “Are you going to that Valentines Day thingy?” Ryan asks turning to me.

 

 “No comment.”

 

 “Are you thinking about going with Natalie?”

 

 “No comment.” I break out into a grin. The guys laugh, the subject of Natalie subsides.

 

 

  The guys being Ryan, my partner in crime (he understands me the best.) Jayden, who isn’t that bad of a guy but he’s a big Casanova and has an ego the size of Australia. Chris, who is just kinda there, average Joe.

 

 The subject bubbles back up.

 

 “You can’t ask Natalie…she’s probably going with Danny.” Quips Jayden.

 

 The guys are always making fun of me about how close friends I am with Nat, but I don’t really mind it, it’s just whenever they mention Danny.

 

 “Yeah.” I manage.

 

 Chris turns away from his potato chips and says softly “It could never really work out with you two. She’s a little out of your league. Unattainable.”

 

 I felt a knife stabbing at my heart when he said that. I give him a cold, hard stare “Don’t you think I know that?” I mean, seriously. She’s pretty, popular, and intelligent. I’m…not.

 

 Chris looked taken aback at my reaction. I didn’t care; I got up and threw my lunch away, having lost my appetite.

 

 Could I ask Natalie to the Valentines Day Dance? Would she say yes? No?

 

 As if it were a sign, Natalie comes bouncing up to me in a daze. “Hey Austin.” She says breathlessly.

 

 “Hi N-Natalie.” I reply completely losing my lack of social skills.

 

 “Are you going to the dance?”

 

 “Y-Ye no. No.”

 

 “Oh.” She smiled. “Danny asked me!”

 

 Is this the part where I am supposed to pretend I’m excited for her?

 

 “Why? He’s just using you.” Before I can cut myself off, that slips out.

 

 A sign of confusion passes over Natalie’s face. “W-What?”

 

 I sigh heavily. “He’s cheating on you.”

 

 “How do you know?” she demands, sounding oddly defensive.

  

 “I’ve seen him making out with Alexa at the park.” My voice it dry, Dead-pan. I don’t even recognize it.

 

 WHAM!

 

 I feel a pain in my left cheek.

 

 “You jerk!” Natalie sobs. “If you like me, why don’t you just ask me to the dance or something? Instead of making up stupid lies!”

 

 I gulp, she storms off. My insides die.

 

 I walk out of the school building, alone, ignoring that I still have two classes before school actually lets out.

 

 

 

 

  I am at the dance. The Valentine’s Day Dance.

 

 I can spot Danny toying with Natalie’s hair, and her emotions.

 

 Ryan comes up from behind me and slaps me on the back. “Hey dude.”

 

 “Hi.”

 

 “Holdin’ up okay?”

 

 “Do you have to ask?”

 

 “Guess not.”

 

 The principal strides over to the microphone. “Now this may sound kinda silly but if anyone would like to make a love dedication go ahead.” Her loud voice booms.

 

 I can see Danny out of the corner of my eye trying to get Natalie to come outside with him. I can tell she doesn’t want to go.

 

 “Oh come on, anyone!” Our principal is getting impatient.

 

 “Ill go.” I hear some part of myself say.

 

 “Austin! Wonderful!” she smiles.

 

 I make the death walk to the mic, once there I stand in front of it for a good thirty seconds before saying anything.

 

 “H-hello. I’d like to make a quick dedication to this girl I know, she’s pretty cool.” I pause. “Well, actually, really cool. I think I’m in love with her.”

 

 I can see Natalie and Ryan have an intake of breath.

 

 I look at Natalie in the eye, she’s looking back, but she seems distracted by Danny still tugging her towards the door.

 

 “Being in love with this girl, it’s kinda like eating a gallon of strawberry ice cream.”

 

 I hear someone say something crude from the back of the auditorium.

 

 “I feel sick afterwards, but in a good way. Like it’s sort of tart but I can’t stop eating it, loving it, loving her. I know the sickness will go away, but I don’t really want it to.”

 

 I can hear Chris’ words haunting me. ‘She’s a little out of your league. Unattainable.’

 

 Then I remembered that poster from like fourth grade that was always up in Math class, it said ‘Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.’

 

 “I love you Natalie.”

 

 I think she heard me, but Danny pulled her all the way out the door so I didn’t know for sure. I stood there for about five minutes while all the teachers had to hug me right there on stage for ‘being so brave.’

 

 So I, being the fool I am, jumped off the stage and ran outside yelling her name.

 

 “I’m here.” Natalie says softly.

 

 I look over at her, she’s alone. “Where’s your boyfriend?” I can’t help sounding jealous and sarcastic.

 

 “We broke up.”

 

 “When!?”

 

 “Just now.”

 

 “Oh.” I can’t help grinning.

 

 Natalie isn’t smiling. “Austin.”

 

 I look at her.

“I don’t love you.”

 

 My heart rips at these words, but I nod, even though I am surprised I can even breathe let alone move, I am so numb inside.

 

 Natalie is close to tears. She comes towards me, kisses me on the lips hugs me for a very long time. “I-I’m sorry.” She chokes up, and then walks off.

 

 I don’t know whether to cry or laugh or scream or die, but all I know is that poster was right. I landed among the stars.

 

Author's Note

This is NOT my first story. It is on this site, yes. But not ever. I am sorry it�s sloppily put together; I had tons of ideas and finished this in about an hour, again my apologies. This story is for the contest Amorous-Unrequited-Passionate. I feel as thought I didn't put my all into this story but I don't think I should edit it too much. My later stories will be better. Enjoy!

Reviews

[Bleeding Ink]

Quickly written or not, I liked it. Especially "Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." I've never heard that before, and you very cleverly utilazatized it in the story. I would suggest leaving it aside for a couple of days and then coming back to revise it in to what you want. Hopefully there will be more to come from you.

[Hannah!]

I liked this. I liked the ending especially, because it wasn't what I was expecting, and that's always a lot of fun. In a lot of ways, it was your typical, unrequited-love story, but thats okay, because those are cute anyway; I liked the twist at the end. I can't help but wonder why Natalie broke up with Danny if she so obviously likes him, and doesn't love Austin. I'd like to read more.

Actually, it'd be really cool if you took this further-a sort of "after the confession" thing; people hardly ever take it there.

The story does need a bit of touching up. A lack of description was perhaps the most obvious thing it's missing. I've never been a fan of over-describing, but you don't even touch on Natalie's appearance-this strikes me as unusual, since she's the object of Austin's unrequited love; in my experience with unrequited love, one tends to wax poetic when it comes to the object of their affections. The whole scene with the guys didn't really seem to go anywhere; you introduced two characters, at least, who didn't seem to have any purpose other than to exist-why can't that particular scene be between just Ryan and Austin? I didn't finish the story feeling like I knew Austin very well-the whole story seems a bit rushed, not just in the way it's written, but in it's pacing; I'm going to guess that time passes, but there's no real obvious way of marking it. It's almost as if Austin fights with Natalie, and that same evening, they're standing at the dance.

I've always had a special fondness for that quote; I don't know why. You put it to good use in the story, definitely.

All in all, it was a fun read. It does need some polishing, but it's still a fun read.

[Kris B]

Oh. My. Gosh. That was amazing. It kinda seems like a play off of one of my stories, The Party of the Century, in a way. I mean, same concept and everything. And not trying to be rude, but you know how grammar errors bug me, so I have to point this out. On the part where it says, "My voice is dead dry", you wrote "it" instead of "is." Just thought I would let you know that. But I think it was absolutely amazing! Bravo!