My Morning

My Morning

A Story by Bad bunny
"

its a thing not sure what it is

"

My Morning

      Trouncing down the stairs to dizzily feed the cat hoping not to trip as he refuses to understand I am a biped and require both legs to ambulate. I brew my coffee; grinder noise invariably spooks the cat causing him to barrel out of the kitchen, despite this being a daily occurrence. Console my stricken kitty for a minute and then I meditate.

     I meditate for clarity, every day it is a necessity for my existence. I have a processing issue a horrid memory. This isn’t a complaint mind you it just is. The effect of it is who I am is never a contrivance. You get me, every time not machinations… just me. To be at this place requires a great deal of introspection it took many years to arrive here. So I meditate.

     Every once in a while I get to this place where my mind is clear… crystal clear no internal chatter, no noise I stop even concentrating on my breathing I no longer even sense my arms touching my legs. I start to feel gentle waves of energy slowly caress my back and see brilliant tones of light streaking as the waves crescendo. It is at this point that awareness and clarity meet embrace.

      Lots of things happen when I reach this point. Inspire of write occurs often, a deeper understanding or awareness comes to light or a painful thing becomes muted and disowned it is a lovely place.

     Every once in a while someone or something enters into this flow a destruction. It permeates my thoughts causing my clarity to recoil and my rage to take hold. It’s sole purpose is to push a furtherance of disdain, in doing so it or they get a sense of completion knowing they aren’t alone in its suffering. Most often they aren’t even aware they are doing this. In that knowledge I can usually find a path to clarity again.

    But then another category may immerge the obstruction or person is aware of the damage it is inflicting. Thus causing a myriad of my triggers to arise. I have many… I call them the wretched. Some people call them evil to me evil gives a certain standing of status not deserved for they are truly just wretched… hate, prejudice, narcissi entitlement, control, greed they are all just wretched crawling creatures blemishing humanity’s grace. It is at this juncture where clarity can become difficult.

     I have seen the wretched, witnessed and experienced it intimately. For a while I even helped it along… I am no saint! I have done things that I will always be ashamed and I still recoil at the things that were done to me. Those things ever go away, even with my cracked memory. It is not a joke when I say I can kill a rapist, child molester or heroine dealer with a toothpick. Or I could crush the hand of an abuser in one clutch. I have held death in my arms to many times to wash wretched’s stains from my hands anymore.

     But I choose the only true defense instead of the rage that courses these veins. I choose love and with every last breath of my life that is all I will send to the waves in furtherance. It is all we can do in the face of the wretched and a gentle wave of comfort soon will return to my clarity.

© 2019 Bad bunny


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Featured Review

That's one hell of a morning, Bunny. Chaotic...a bit funny in the first paragraph...then you get into how you deal with the demons that hang there, waiting for their opportunity to strike. Meditation pushes "the wretched" into the background, to a spot where they can be handled...you understand what you are capable of...but you choose love as a way to survive. You choose well.

A good write, Bunny.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bad bunny

3 Weeks Ago

I don't usually write rants but It was one of those mornings... good sir
Ted Kniffen

3 Weeks Ago

Nothing wrong with rants...they're a good way to deal with the idiocy that plaques the news nowadays.. read more



Reviews

One time I was walking my dog in a park in Salinas where I lived at the time. Within the net-shrouded tennis courts, a small girl was kneeling between the knees of a large man. I went ballistic. I stormed into the otherwise deserted tennis courts to demand what was going on there! As it turned out, the girl was very small, but not a minor. It just goes to show what you're saying in next-to-last paragraph. I love the distinction you make between "evil" and "wretched" (evil makes a judgment about other, while wretched describes my response to it). In a couple places, where you describe some cerebral concepts, it would be nice to have a detailed example to go with the explanation, so we can get a better idea of how this feels or unfolds. It's always good to share how you cope becuz we all learn from each other. I don't see this as a rant at all (your response to Ted). Great share! Helps me understand you better & there are many similarities between us (as we've encountered before!) Fondly, Margie

Posted 1 Week Ago


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BBP
Well... this was one hell of a read. The lines of being ashamed and being able to kill a rapist, child molester or heroin dealer.... You stole those words out of my mouth. Those are the three lowest pieces of s**t in my book as well. This piece was honest and raw and I loved it. How you show that you choose to find peace rather than let rage guide you is commendable. It's something I struggle with.

Posted 1 Week Ago


an incredibly frank post here, with lacquered self disclosure, one upon another... sounds, or rather reads much like my morning.. and hey.. I mean that, yes sir, no kidding.
I practice zazen seated meditation every day... well almost every day.. some days tho it is nigh impossible, and for various reasons... often I conclude it is those very reasons why I practice twice a day almost every day.. Despite, and in spite of my efforts, I have yet to dispel all my own monsters.. sometimes they just hide, like monsters are supposed to do... what I have learnt, is that never to breathe an audible sigh of relief when they appear to have gone... tis those particular sighs they pick up on..... I sincerely appreciate this pseudo rant B b ...... a fan.. Me :)


Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bad bunny

2 Weeks Ago

oh crap, I always sigh... crap crap crap! :)
A delimitation of intellect behind the amazing poetry! How you realize your quietude and maintain it all through distractions is incredible.
Thank you, for sharing your unique personal observations and knowledge, and sending love to all.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bad bunny

3 Weeks Ago

Was in one of those ranting modes my focus was stuck in the wretched...so I wrote it out
This is the most difficult story/poem I have ever read. it reads a as a frank and open account of a truely horrendous past one has to live with. Although the reader knows not the substance one may arrive at a place where the monsters appear justified. We all have monsters and some of us have those triggers that allow them to leave the cage. Yours appear significant and I hope you are the ring master mostly!

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bad bunny

3 Weeks Ago

What a perfect analogy... I am lucky to be able to keep the beasts at bay for most days some days I.. read more
That's one hell of a morning, Bunny. Chaotic...a bit funny in the first paragraph...then you get into how you deal with the demons that hang there, waiting for their opportunity to strike. Meditation pushes "the wretched" into the background, to a spot where they can be handled...you understand what you are capable of...but you choose love as a way to survive. You choose well.

A good write, Bunny.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bad bunny

3 Weeks Ago

I don't usually write rants but It was one of those mornings... good sir
Ted Kniffen

3 Weeks Ago

Nothing wrong with rants...they're a good way to deal with the idiocy that plaques the news nowadays.. read more

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Added on May 23, 2019
Last Updated on May 23, 2019

Author

Bad bunny
Bad bunny

pittsburgh, PA



About
I am the Bunny but the bunny isn't me long live the bunny I own an art gallery and performance space in Pittsburgh called The Zenith It is also an antiques store and it is a vegetarian restaurant.. more..

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