Conflicting Emotions

It's been a long time since I have posted anything. This is an old piece I felt like sharing. Reviews would be highly appreciated!

So when everything started falling into place...why did I suddenly start feeling out of place?  I had always wished for sunshine, so why was the touch of heat irking me now? I always wished to be free, so why was I missing the prison walls today? I always wanted to get out of this...so why did I start missing you now? 

Here I sit on the porch, watching the rain pitter- patter on the ground, washing away the garden soil. This erosion reminds me of myself a year from now. How I fell in love with you and eventually started loosing myself to you, to love....to oblivion. And when I realized I was getting caught in  this trap, I realized I couldn't bear it...realized that I wanted to be set free. Thus, began the struggle. I 'moved on' two steps but something or the other happened...and I was pulled back right to the beginning. There were days when I succumbed entirely to my weakness, to you. And once again, for a thousandth time....I got up with a new hope. 

It was a tiring journey. Frustrating....

But today, now that I have won the battle....I miss the war.

Funny....how it was not even a real war, just an internal conflict of emotions. But so powerful that it set my heart on fire....and now i am left with ashes of a burnt past.   

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree.
"But today, now that I have won the battle....I miss the war.
Funny....how it was not even a real war, just an internal conflict of emotions. But so powerful that it set my heart on fire....and now i am left with ashes of a burnt past. "
The above lines are true. Struggle and hard times become our best days. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Flutterby aish]

Thank you Sir for reviewing!

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Mirror]

I like what you are talking about. And most of times I like the way you express it.
1)"So when everything started falling into place...why did I feel so out of place?"
2)"But today, now that I have won the battle....I miss the war."
Keep writing. :p

[MandaBear]

Wow I really loved this one. The emotions are so neatly displayed here. You just did perfectly! Great job

[Flutterby aish]

Thank you for those lovely words! :)

[-]

Thank you for your wonderful writing. I think the war is missed because emotions make us feel alive. There is something so boring about peace and that is why we eventually go seek relationships even if they disrupt our piece. You capture it perfectly when you said " I miss the war" and " But so powerful that is set my heart of fire". Thanks again for sharing. Laters, N.

[Flutterby aish]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read. :)