All For Him

short little thing- Caine will know what I mean here haha

 

She held on the last remnants of hope as she sat alone watching herself in the big mirrors. The last remnants of a failed hope that had failed her before it even started. She looked blankly at her face and realized that there was no miracle that was going to occur. What was done was done- and she would have to realize it. Why didn’t she want to? Maybe it was the blank look on her face, maybe it was the fact she couldn’t recognize herself anymore. The tears had shaped her face into a haunting shadow of what it used to be.

Her phone sat clutched in her hand as she waited for a call. His call. A call she knew better then most would never come. Why had she let herself get this miserable? Didn’t she want some dignity? Or had love blown away all cases of dignity with it? She was sure it had as she reminded herself again he was busy.

That was always the excuse she made for him. He was busy. He was always busy wasn’t he? He was always unable to spare a moment of his time for her. She waited at home patiently for him. But it was always work before play (all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy mum), no time for play anymore. The only time there was play was when she begged.

It didn’t feel right anymore. It never felt right. The first two months had been amazing- like a dream. A dream she would be willing live over and over again… But then the work had come around and she didn’t matter. She wanted to matter. She wanted so much for him to think of her as she does of him. She didn’t think she was asking for much… A half an hour here and there- a phone call...

But nothing ever came. Not one of her wishes ever came true. So she sat alone- watching her face grow worse in the mirror.

How long could she do this? How long could she continue to be on the side as he continued without her? She didn’t know if she could do it for much longer. But the thought of being without him… That was worse. That would be terrible.

They had started so oddly- and it had taken so much effort… She wasn’t willing to throw it all away. Through all the weird quirks she had managed to really fall in love with this man. He was a man now after all- though she was still a little girl. A little girl who waited for him to come.

Her thoughts weren’t centered around him of course- she thought about other things… But when she was alone it was hard not to remember she was in the relationship that never really existed.

She admitted to herself- it wasn’t real. It was more her imagination then it was anything. But she couldn’t let it go- for the life of her she didn’t want to.

Another tear rolled down her cheeks as she looked at the phone that lay unmoving in her hand. She knew he wasn’t the only person in her life- but why did he make her so lonely all the time. She always felt lonely when he didn’t care- and she didn’t want to admit it to him yet. She couldn’t. She didn’t want to say anything to make him leave.

But she watched her phone (A watch pot never boils dear) with an intensity hoping if she thought about it enough he might call. Maybe he’d remember her. Maybe he’d stop only thinking about himself for once in his life!

She took a deep breath as she pushed all the angry thoughts out of her mind and collapsed onto her bed- the phone grasped in her hand. She knew it was too late- he never called past nine anyways but she watched it anyway as she turned the light off.

Did he know that all the suffering she went through everyday was all for him? Or was he oblivious.

Author's Note

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Reviews

[Requiem]

The last remnants of a failed hope that had failed her before it even started.

[ah]

this portrays your feelings greatly, thanx for asking me to read, im glad i was able to read this

[NJ Schneider]

Well, as I was reading I figured out something else, other then what I've already told you. It's in senior year, he's got to really work his a*s off just to graduate, his entire future depends on this project. You need to understand that he is under a lot of presure. I know how badly it hurts, but he didn't dump you like what hadn't to me. So be thankful for that at least. He is just under a lot of stress and presure to graduate and he doens't want to have you on top of it. If I was in his shoes I would have done he same, but I would have at least explained that much to you. I'm not saying what he did was right or that it shouldn't hurt. I'm just saying why he did it. It wasn't about you personally.