Born a child of God

I stand in the shadow of the Lord,

Down the valleys of hatred and silence,

I used to believe I harboured a demon,

Just to find that the creature was me,

I cannot ask for forgiveness,

For the very words scold my tongue,

Setting my soul alight in a blaze of disgust,

I am no longer worthy of the paradise before me,

For I am darkness incarnate.

I look upon the church that I know,

The very place I was christened,

The very room I was made a child of God,

Was the water tainted?

Was I submerged in the bubbling tar of Lucifer,

I child of God I am no more,

But a slave to the devil before me,

Was I doomed to the shadows at birth?

Or did I choose the path I walk.

The thorns of putrid fury pierce my skin,

The hatred of people I once knew,

Do I deserve to suffer the fate of a man of evil?

The God I once knew cannot save my soul,

For I have not a heart for redemption,

If I was reborn again would I be a better man,

Or just half the one I am now,

Do I deserve forgiveness?

Can the sins I have brought upon myself be released?

For when I stand at the edge of the oblivion,

I welcome those who I have wronged,

Don't try and save my soul,

Banish me to the shadows I belong. 

Reviews

[Muse]

ache...I was raised with a strict religious upbringing, so I understand this conflict. However I think you write of a Catholic experience. I personally find it wrong to baptize a child, it should be a choice. If you read about baptism in the bible it was always a choice "a public testament to walk with the lord" I grew up Baptist...and we believed in being saved by the grace of God, baptism done after the fact, but despite accepting and asking for his forgiveness through my own free will, I have doubts. But I think no matter what your upbringing...we are all tainted with doubt.

[Forgotten]

I was born and christened so I've lived my life as one. I am proud to be one but the belief of God just isn't in me, I'm a man of science. I'd rather look at the facts of life than live in the idea that a magic man made the world we live in today, though I have that struggle knowing I should believe it but knowing I never will

[Muse]

as you grow older, you will see the little miracles around you....all of it will change your mind some day.....perhaps. :)

[The Verse: A Poetry Jou..]

Wow, I totally relate, very well written, thanks for sharing!

[icelandicblue]

This is so powerful and filled with so much suffering. You use the contrasts of religion and a fall from grace very effectively. Having said that I don't believe evil is introspective and we are hardest on ourselves. We are all created in a mold of duality and through life we sometimes wander further into one half than the other. The feeling of being lost is heartbreaking. There is a lot of hurt in these words. I hope the sunlight finds the shadow and gives strength to the struggles so painfully described in this poem.

[Shane Winchester]

Very dark and beautiful all at once. Similar ways I have felt at times. Yet we struggle on.

[Friday]

Yes. A very strong piece, self denying at times it seems. 16 Horsepower or some band like that could easily derive a song from this I reckon.

[Caitlynn Cusick]

your words are so strong and sorrowful. i have felt his way and your poem spoke directly to the ever criticizing part of me, though i am only 16... i have fought myself long and hard over all the wrongs i have committed, often ending up in a decisions of forsaking religion in place of my own personal hell, often sealing this fate in a pool of sacrificial blood to my own personal demons.... i think i'm straying away from my point... anyways... your poem brought back exactly those thoughts i buried inside myself, but instead of being afraid of them, you brought them out for me t behold in a beautiful new way. very good... not many things make me feel anything as strong as your poem did... and for that, i thank you immensely.

[Sirius King]

Don't try and save my soul,
Banish me to the shadows I belong.



strong write, love the conviction

[kublakhan27]

A vivid and very deep piece of personal introspection...I think a lot of people find themselves caught in this conflict, myself included...I thought the ending was pretty courageous as well, choosing to affiliate your speaker with the darkness after all is said and done...a remarkable piece, great work :)

[MandaBear]

Wow very strong work! Great write

[Forgotten]

Thank you for your review :)