Step off the Edge

Do you hear it?

The cries of the archangel ring in your ear,

You fool...it is but a demon in disguise,

You've heard that record too many times,

Fallen for the sweet nothings it's whispered to you,

Captivated by the subliminal message you have yet to see,

You only see with your eyes,

See what's in front of you and not behind the lies,

This record is scratched and broken,

Repeating the same phrase for eternity.

Can you do it?

Can you save others from the pain?

That's an awful long drop you've got there,

Let's hope the angels have looked kindly upon you,

But you don't want to be saved though it would seem so,

This is not to save yourself from the guilt,

The hate,

The detestation,

Your body is an infection the plague upon earth,

Just another virus in the mix of the grand scheme of life,

Look down my brother this is where we stand.

Join me where the heat is delectable,

Your body may not be here,

But your soul already resides,

Look down my brother this is where I stand,

Will you save an innocent soul or spit tar in their face?

Come...step off the edge,

For without me you are nothing,

A husk of the person you once were,

What you see is a putrid lie,

The man you see is not you,

You think you cause happiness to others?

No I am sorry my brother but that is not true,

Come...step off the edge and at last seal your fate,

For the man of innocence you think is you...

Is the but a shadow in the angels place.  

Reviews

[Adreamer's Bluejay]

Very dark write well done, love this. Your imagery is so vividly well done and your story is penned phenomenally. You definitely have a fan in me, because this, this completely blew me away. I love how in an odd sort of way its incredibly easy to relate to while at the same time it is so completely personal to you yourself only.

Great write.

[Summer]

Aeeee, a dark write... I like it! This is a great write, and I know from the way you write that you write about your life in general and it is the whole truth. Great job, John-Paul.

[Forgotten]

Yeah I base things off me and how I'm feeling at the time, you'll notice most of the newest writes are dark due to the depression I went through for a long time

[Summer]

I hope you are no longer battling depression. It's a hard thing to come out of.

[Forgotten]

It still comes and goes, I slip in and out of it very often

[Summer]

Oh well hopefully it will go away and never come back.....

[Forgotten]

Haha I hope so, but they way my life twists and turns I wouldn't bet anything on it

[Summer]

Hopefully you'll get a happy ending.

[Forgotten]

I'm sure I will, it's all a matter of time and waiting

[Summer]

Argggh, I hate waiting. Well I better get more reading done before I get my bottom kicked.

[icelandicblue]

We are truly a sum of our actions. We can only hope in the final tally that we did more good in this life than harm.

[DCT ponderings]

For me the first stanza read as a warning. Beware what you think you know.

You only see with your eyes,
See what's in front of you and not behind the lies,

Then the next stanza felt like a taunt, a dare.

Can you do it?
Can you save others from the pain?
That's an awful long drop you've got there,

Then in the last stanza the motive revealed, to coax his demise. I found the progression interesting because it sneaks up. Like an abuser first wearing down the victim then convincing them they are nothing, finally taking them down. The ending was stunning.

No I am sorry my brother but that is not true,
Come...step off the edge and at last seal your fate,
For the man of innocence you think is you...
Is the but a shadow in the angels place.

[kublakhan27]

Dark and foreboding...I have a ton of ideas in my head as to what the predominant message is here, but whatever the case, it certainly speaks to humanity's seemingly bottomless capacity for doing bad things...the dangers of seduction and influence are well-represented here as well...a very rich piece that keeps the reader thinking well after it's read...great work.

[Skye]

so it's the demon coaxing an angel to fall? Interesting.. I wonder if the angel will fall for his tricks

[MandaBear]

A thought provoking poem this is. Very interesting read =)

[KeelyJane]

Interesting poem. I feel like I should ponder on it before I give a solid review. I'm still a little confused....to be continued....

On a positive note, you got me thinking. :)

[Pete Langley]

This piece I find a contradiction...an argument between good and evil where it`s not altogether clear which is the influence for good and which the malevolence...and as such, rather detracts from the poetic worth. Sorry...I find this piece confused and not a little unpleasant in tone. P.

[Forgotten]

No thank you for your honest review, there isn't supposed to be good in this. It's supposed to be the persons soul tempting him to commit suicide. I might take a look at it again and make it more clear

[KAOlmsted]

Sometimes you just don't know who to believe...great job. Thanks so much for sharing this with us.