The Offer

The Offer

A Poem by Forgotten

Ignore the words I speak,
As it's the silence that I relish,
The pure fractions of my heart bloom in it's bliss,
For my mind has tempered the blades that I spout,
The daggers that pierce your weeping soul,
In the absence of speech only I suffer it's edge,
Though the torment would surely taint me,
If I speak I must witness the tears of a seraph,
Yet in silence I must endure the claws of my demons.

I can see the pain inside you,
The loneliness you have carried,
The greetings and farewells of the man you love,
I outstretch my hand a pillar for you to lean on,
Let me share the weight that you carry,
For my body is numb from the scars that I conceal,
So let me carry your troubles away,
You need not worry for suffer I cannot,
I shall smile and give you peace of mind.

You declined and offered to set me free,
Give me back to the world that had birthed me,
I thought a demon and a seraph could not coexist,
Though we fight on trying as if we have something to prove,
You declined me once...refused to let me carry your burdens,
So I offer a deal you cannot refuse,
We share the load that both of us disguise,
For if we mixed the troubles that ail us,
We'd be one and the same equal eye to eye.      

© 2014 Forgotten



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Reviews

This was fantastic. It gives a feel of "yin and yang". The dark and light - the demon and the seraph - come together to coexist, to simply exist. This was great! I'm so glad I saw your read request this afternoon.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Well thank you that put a smile on my face, I'm glad you enjoyed it Devon :)
devon

3 Years Ago

You're welcome!
Outstanding my friend. polar opposites working together to lift the same load. If only it could be... Loved this one.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

I think it can be, it happens time to time. Not often but it does, glad you enjoyed this one
Excellent, touches emotions.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Thank you Shaun :)
Shaun Payton

3 Years Ago

You are welcome:)
Dearest John,
Only you could display such novelty in this emotional dejection...
No one should find fault in offering their shoulder to lean on.
You have always captured a certain fragility in your poetry, which I find
so endearing...

Well penned, Love~xoxo~

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Thank you I agree, no-one should feel like it's wrong to offer help. Always a pleasure to see your r.. read more
Robbie~xoxo~

3 Years Ago

It's my pleasure, John. :)
Very deep John had to read this one over...love the last four lines, killer closer. Outstanding.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Thank you Frieda, I'm glad you enjoyed this one
The way you describe the poet witnessing the tears of a seraph, one of the highest order of angelic beings in the universe touched me on a different level. It felt so real and i'll admit I am an emotional guy but this was different it felt spiritual in a sense. Traditional Indian's and Hinduism follows a way of life called Dharmas from the vedic period on wards and the final step is the path to enlightenment, being one with God and giving up all worldly desire and possessions.. I felt that only by achieving this enlightenment would a person ever be able to connect with an angel on that personal sense, amazing.
okay getting back to this poem, omg AMAZING concept, the closing stanza was brilliance this was my favorite part.. how well you worded it sir "So I offer a deal you cannot refuse,
We share the load that both of us disguise,
For if we mixed the troubles that ail us,
We'd be one and the same equal eye to eye." You have my vote for poem of 2014.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

I'm not a firm believer in God by any means, but I love the lore behind religion. Thank you for your.. read more
An excellent write. Well done.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it
"So I offer a deal you cannot refuse,
We share the load that both of us disguise,
For if we mixed the troubles that ail us,
We'd be one and the same equal eye to eye. "
I enjoyed this journey. Good to offer to help. It is better to join the journey and know the burdens. I like the complete story in the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Always a pleasure to see your reviews, thank you Coyote
A very interesting read and write. Thank you for sharing...:)............

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Thank you Sami, I'm glad you like it
Sami Khalil

3 Years Ago

You are welcome...:).........................

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Added on January 9, 2014
Last Updated on January 9, 2014

Author

Forgotten
Forgotten

Gloucestershire, Stroud, United Kingdom



About
My real name is John-Paul Crawford, I do voluntary work at Stroud FM and hopefully after my training will be allowed my own slot on air. Writing takes up most of my time, I'm always trying to better m.. more..

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