Torrential Haze

Torrential Haze

A Poem by Forgotten

Upon my soul I find blotted ink,
Seeping through the pages, 
Smudged beyond recognition,
A torrential haze clouds the very eyes with which I seek vision,
The future lacking clarity, 
Harnessing the very fears I have polished,
The years have not been kind upon this simple mind,
A frozen tundra awaits inside when you dare to delve,
You won't find dreams where I have gone,
Just molten sulphur hail. 

Sacred fire without a wick,
Suffering in it's eternal damnation,  
Unable to see an end,
A future clouded with uncertainty, 
A broken gale of discontent would stir it from it's rhythm,
It's fractured melody caving in,
As the world evolves around it,
Immortality at its state of anguish,
We can learn from it's failure,
For at the end of day what can I say,
My future is the fear I carry.  

© 2014 Forgotten



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Featured Review

This piece is beautiful- I don't know how else to put it
Every line is painted in imagery, and tender words
Marvelous job, keep writing! I really enjoyed reading this piece

"Harnessing the very fears I have polished,
The years have not been kind upon this simple mind,
A frozen tundra awaits inside when you dare to delve,
You won't find dreams where I have gone,
Just molten sulphur hail. "

the emotion jumps off the words and makes its way into the readers heart ^^

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Thank you I hope others feel the same :)



Reviews

Sacred fire without a wick,
Suffering in it's eternal damnation,
that's ferocious.
my future is the fear I carry. this is a profound poem.

Posted 3 Years Ago


This was an excellent poem and very dark. I enjoyed reading this today.

Posted 3 Years Ago


a highly descriptive and elegant piece, one that seeks to tell a story that we all must hear, well done, good read.

Posted 3 Years Ago


It is a very very deep poem ! A very nice one !

Posted 3 Years Ago


This piece is beautiful- I don't know how else to put it
Every line is painted in imagery, and tender words
Marvelous job, keep writing! I really enjoyed reading this piece

"Harnessing the very fears I have polished,
The years have not been kind upon this simple mind,
A frozen tundra awaits inside when you dare to delve,
You won't find dreams where I have gone,
Just molten sulphur hail. "

the emotion jumps off the words and makes its way into the readers heart ^^

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Thank you I hope others feel the same :)
For at the end of day what can I say,
My future is the fear I carry.

These last two lines resonated with me. Amazing work!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Well I am happy to hear that =D Thank you for your review
"We can learn from it's failure,
For at the end of day what can I say,
My future is the fear I carry."
I like the above lines. Failure allowed us to learn to try not to repeat the same mistake twice. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Thank you Coyote, always nice to see you here :)
This was oh so dark but very cool my friend. Nice to see something from you again.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Thank you Jack, always nice to see a comment from you :)
You've done well with this one. If I thought about a revised version, I'd have the fire central to the whole poem, not just the second half; the first verse could be incorporated into one larger unit. "Sacred fire" has lots of resonances from ancient greek thought onwards, "eternal" being one of them and "eternal damnation" a good spin on it when you're feeling miserable.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Forgotten

3 Years Ago

Oh I see, well maybe I can do a little editing magic and change some things around =D Thank you for .. read more

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Added on March 5, 2014
Last Updated on March 5, 2014

Author

Forgotten
Forgotten

Gloucestershire, Stroud, United Kingdom



About
My real name is John-Paul Crawford, I do voluntary work at Stroud FM and hopefully after my training will be allowed my own slot on air. Writing takes up most of my time, I'm always trying to better m.. more..

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